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But before I address individual comments, I have a few comments of my own.
One recurring theme that came up in the comments is that maybe if I meet the right person, I will want to change. This is true. Absolutely. I do not close myself off to that possibility. Not at all. I do recognize that while it's unlikely, I am totally capable of meeting a Bostonian guy who wears Red Sox hats and khakis and has never lived abroad and never wants to but he has all the other qualities that I'm looking for in someone. If he makes me really happy. If he makes me fall for him. If we have an amazing connection and amazing chemistry. If we have a great time together. If he challenges me and supports me and loves me. Then everything else is negotiable. I think Catherine said it so well:
Maybe you'll meet someone who will want to change for you.
Perhaps you'll meet someone you want to change for.
Perhaps what you want will change
I love that. It's so perfect. It leaves all the doors of possibility open.
But until I meet that guy, then I'm going to keep the ever evolving list in my head of the perfect man for me at this time in my life. And I'm not going to feel bad about having those standards or wanting those ideals just as I'm not going to rule out someone I really connect with because he doesn't check all the boxes.
I've been reading Elizabeth Gilbert's book called Committed - the follow up to Eat Pray Love - which is absolutely amazing by the way and I highly recommend it to everyone (I will most likely be blogging about this at some point). She talks a lot about the beauty of modern Western culture is that we have so many choices, but it's also the problem with our culture. With all those choices, comes decisions and with decisions, comes choices that we didn't take. And with that can come doubt and uncertainty. We ask ourselves did we take the right path in life? And what would our lives look like if we went down another path? What is the best path to happiness? And that's where I'm at right now, trying to figure out what the best path to happiness is. What truly makes me happy...
Okay... now on to your awesome comments:
First Date Only - I totally understand what you are saying. I have found myself saying things like "the other day when I was in Moscow" (this was a couple Christmas' ago when I was visiting the US after extensive travels), or more recently commenting on how the last time I had great Italian food was in Rome (oops - this was more recent and kind of popped out before I could filter the thought better). I never mean to sound pretentious. Like you said, it's just my experience!
Robin - Wow! Moscow. Awesome. I've visited many times and have always wondered what it would be like to live there. Looking forward to checking out your blog!
Claudy - where were you when I needed you? And why did I not know you when I was in the UK? I would never make you wash dishes in Bali. Option "c" sounds like a fabulous deal to me. Are you serious? If you are, I'm so in! ;)
Katie @Domestiphobia - Oh how you tease me... Just close all 3 doors and open another one. That's kind of a good idea actually. Although I secretly think that you are tempting me to run away with you again. How about Spain? I've always wanted to live in Madrid. Or Buenos Aires perhaps?
Well this is awkward - It's funny because you mention that you are only 22 and of course my initial thought is to be insanely jealous of you for your youth and wish that I was 22 again. And in my second more rational thought (because backward time travel is unfortunately totally irrational as far as I know, right)? I then think about what advice I would give you... And ironically the first advice that pops into my head is: travel, travel, travel. See the world! Broaden your horizons! Meet lots of great people. So, I guess you are right, I shouldn't (and probably don't) have any regrets if that is my impulsive advice to you is that you should go out and do the same things I did (rather than choosing a more traditional path in life). But I think you show wisdom beyond your years with the following:
I also agree that while traveling can be eye opening and you are often happy doing it, sometimes it can contribute to your overall sadness, especially when you move back "home."
Pretty Young Thing - As always, thanks for the support. I'm glad that you are getting a taste of the travel bug. And you are right! I should come to NYC and hang out for a weekend. I LOVE the quote you left:
"Home is not where you live but where they understand you"
Julianna - Your comment made me laugh the hardest! I LOVE this:
American men? European Men? Asian? Austrailian?
They all suck. They're men.
They think with two minds that don't communicate with others well.
The trick is to find one that communicates with you.
Then the rest will fall into place.
Jewels - My girl - as always, thanks for the love. And you are so right: there is nothing more beautiful about traveling and discovering new places with a lover. This is actually something that I've thought about a lot recently. I LOVE my single life and my adventures. But I have to say that most of my greatest memories are ones I shared with someone else and most of them involve traveling with someone else. I am sure that you will experience that some day (make sure you do). And you are so right... being unhappy does not attract happiness. I'm working on that.
On My Soapbox - You are probably right. My delivery wasn't very smooth. ;)
Tilden Talks - That thinking thing. Gets me every time. Damn. :)
Jules - As always, thanks for your support! Bostonians are crazy about their sports. That is for sure. You would think that the world is possibly ending tomorrow because the Red Sox are 2-9. It's ALL people are talking about. Don't get me wrong. I do like sports and I'm very amused with the Red Sox obsession and even am enjoying contributing to the conversation when I can. However, there is more that defines me and I want someone who has more than defines them.
Sarah B - I LOVED your comment. And I know that you understand. Thank you so much for these awesome words of wisdom - what a great analogy:
Feeling uncomfortable in Boston is a good thing.
Why? Because if it doesn't feel right on your skin, then it doesn't fit, which means, you shouldn't wear it.
You know that feeling when you find that dress?
You know that feeling when you find that dress?
The one that hugs you in all the right places, the one that just slides on?
The one that when you walk out the door, you *know* that men are dropping their jaws and tripping over themselves to stare at you?
That one. That's the feeling you should feel when you live somewhere too
Catherine - It is very wise advise to stop worrying about the things in my future and about the things I cannot change. Isn't there a saying something like: Grant me the power to change the things I can and accept the things I can't change? And speaking of change, as I already mentioned, I really liked what you had to say about it:
Maybe you'll meet someone who will want to change for you.
Perhaps you'll meet someone you want to change for.
Perhaps what you want will change - you never know.
And maybe, just maybe, you'll meet the perfect person (within reason) that wants something very similar to you.
So eloquently put. Love it.
Thanks again everyone! I'm finally feeling a bit better having gotten my B12 sorted out. I've also decided that I will STOP hibernating in my apartment watching Mad Men and The Kennedy's and I will get out and do more and have more interesting things to blog about!