New Year's Eve

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New Year's Eve and I are not really friends. Every year I dread this night as I listen to friends make fabulous plans and realize that I don't have fabulous plans of my own. Every year I fret about what to do and who to do it with, what to wear... and almost every year it comes down to the last minute and I have no real plans.

And unfortunately, New Year's Eve is also a couples night. If you are in a relationship, you obviously hang out with that person. For those of us not in a relationship... well, New Year's Eve becomes much harder.

But seriously? Is New Year's Eve not the most hyped up night ever? I mean at the end of the day, it's just a night like every other night. But for some reason, there is this need for it to be perfect, and memorable and magical and whatever other bullshit adjective you can think of.

I've had some good New Year's Eves in the past... although not many. I often spend the night with my brother and I have to say that I always have fun with him. When we were children we used to spend it with our "Other Brother" (i.e. the son of my parent's best friends who we spent lots of time with as children). They would get us a baby-sitter and buy us party hats and decorations and the poor babysitter would then have to deal with us running around the house and making noise until after midnight.

Memorable New Years including ringing in the New Year with my brother in San Fransisco which was fun because I made him buy like $100 of NYE party decorations just like when we were little and we drank LOTS of champagne and the best part was "Other Brother" was even there to celebrate with us as he lives in San Fran (you might remember his wedding this summer) so it was just like old times but with alcohol which obviously made it more fun.

I have also rung in the New Year in New York City with my brother and the Beautiful Swede where we spent way too much money on a hotel room and a party although I still kind of think it was worth it cuz it was reall fun.

There was a New Years' spent in China with the Scottish boy. Let me tell you - Sooooo anti-climactic since Chinese do not even celebrate it. We actually were in a taxi when it turned midnight although we didn't notice until later. I then proceeded to sleep for 2 hours on the bar (jet lag - I had arrived from the US that morning) and then get in a massive fight with the Scottish boy for allowing me to sleep in the bar for 2 hours rather than doing the right thing and taking me home. "You were having fun!" he said.

I spent a much better New Year's with the Scottish Boy in Scotland where we stayed in a castle (this was my first experience staying in a castle long before this became a regular occurrence in my life - seriously, I have stayed in at least 3 castles in the last 7 months - although obviously those days are over as there are no castles in Boston) Actually, this was probably the best New Year's Eves ever as we just stayed in and had a cozy fire and the Scottish boy cooked me a romantic dinner (and I pretended to help) and then we had champagne and took a bubble bat - bubbles and bubbles: my favorite combination.

Last year however was a tough one as I was still getting over the Beautiful Swede who had been nice enough to inform me that he "really missed me" but he had a date for New Year's Eve (this was exactly 2 days before I decided never ever to speak with him again), so I spent New Year's Eve moping, missing him and being the only single person at a couples party in Connecticut.

This year I thought about totally skipping New Year's altogether. Flight tickets for Sweden were too expensive and with a project launching at work, it wasn't really an option. And as most of my friends these days seem to be married and having kids and even my single partner-in-crime I'm Attractive Single Friend C had a date with a guy nicknamed McSteamy (seriously, who has a first date on New Year's Eve - that's I'm Attractive Single Friend C for you though and from what I hear it was definitely steamy), I once again had no plans.

Luckily a new friend, Gorgeous Single N, invited me along with her friends who were planning to go for dinner at Harvard Gardens.

And since Gorgeous Single N was nice enough to let me borrow her friends for the night, I decided to invite the group over to my apartment to pre-game it before going to dinner (luckily I was not too hungover from my escapades the night before). Of course, as this was New Year's Eve, I decided that this should be a classy affair with shrimp cocktail and champagne (because that's how I roll). So, a random group of New Year's Eve single misfits gathered at my house. We were a motley crew for sure as many of us observed throughout the night. While some of our group new each other closely, most of us knew just one other person. It was all a bit random but that's what made it all kind of fun.

One of the women brought a huge bag full of party hats and decorations and noisemakers. She called this "flair" which I've never heard it called before but I thought it was a fantastic name! And I was so happy since it reminded me of New Year's Eves past. I LOVE "flair" and I'm usually the one to bring it but had forgotten about it this year so I was really glad that someone else had thought of it. 

Example of "flair"
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Highlights of the night include:

• Walking into Harvard Gardens wearing our New Year's Eve party hats and "flair" and making lots of noise with noisemakers so that everyone else was starting at us
• Our table that was literally "created" for us on the dance floor so we were literally sitting in the center of a busy restaurant (this was due to us booking late and continuing to add more people)
• Being the loudest and the most obnoxious table at the restaurant with all our noisemakers and party favors
• Bringing our own New Year's Eve Centerpiece with us to the restaurant (courtesy of me from a NYE party I hosted in Sweden - yes, I apparently carry party decorations around the world with me).
• Handing out noisemakers to the children at the table next to ours (I'm sure their parents were thanking us)
• An engaged man in hot pursuit of a girl in our group (Seriously? Are all men assholes? Or are all men just totally stupid? I mean why announce right off the bat that you are engaged then pursue her all night? At least lie!) 
• A whole slew of boring men that took turns talking to the girls in our group including the obnoxious investment banker and the over-enthusiastic marathon runner whose goal in life was to run a marathon on all 7 continents
• The unfortunate appearance of Gorgeous Single N's ex-boyfriend (there was no stalking going on, just a sad coincidence - I mean who wants to be stuck at a bar with your ex on New Year's Eve)
• The fact that Gorgeous Single N's ex-boyfriend has been such a jerk to her that several girls in our group had to go up and give him a piece of their mind and stick up for their girl(he was a big JERK - so much so that I might have to blog about it later when I write an inevitable blog about why all men are assholes)
• An unmemorable count down with no fun boys to kiss at midnight
• The appearance of a cute boy later who made up for the lack of kisses at midnight
• An after party at my place (further endearing me to my neighbors I'm sure)
• Having a fun night with other single people

And while I can't say that it was the best New Year's Ever, I can say that it turned out to be a random and fun night and I made some new friends. Thanks to Gorgeous Single N and all her awesome friends for making it so great!

Happy New Year to everyone! I'm looking forward to hear how you spent the end of 2010 and what you have in store for 2011!

Clearly this next week will be about reflections and resolutions. Stay tuned!

XOXO

I heart Stockholm

So, last week I got the pleasure of spending some time in my favorite city: Stockholm*. Seriously, I heart Stockholm. In fact, my heart hurts when I visit because I miss living there so much. And I would move back in a heartbeat (ok - I've now said heart three times - I think I will stop now as I'm annoying myself)... but unfortunately, this is not possible right now. This makes me very very sad (but more on this later).

The trip was a little bit about work and more about fun - just the way it should be!

I arrived early evening on Wednesday and I had just enough time to run into H&M and do some serious damage to my poor bank account.

You might be wondering, why would I go shopping in Sweden when I live in the best shopping city in the world? I was wondering the same myself... But the sad truth is that I have become very Swedish (at least that's what I'm told). When I first moved to Sweden I couldn't understand why H&M was on every single corner. I also hated the fact that there was not a larger "selection" of clothes or shops. I found the shopping boring it irritated me that everyone wore the same thing.

So, now I live in London where there is a whole big bad city out there with tons of things to spend your hard earned money on, and you know what? I prefer shopping in Stockholm. Go figure. But, it's easy to shop in Stockholm. Stockholm stores are limited, but they have all the things I want. There is no searching through racks trying to figure out the latest trends. In Stockholm, it's all there in front of you. And yes, the population and the dress code is pretty homongenous but Swedes are extremely fashionable as well as attractive and I swear it feels like you are in a photoshoot everywhere you go.

A non-Swedish friend of mine described it as like "being in the twilight zone. It's just too perfect to be true. But the scary part is, it is really that perfect." Well said my friend. He didn't particularly like living in Sweden (he only lived there for one year). After 5 years living there, I have learned to love it. Actually, I think it took leaving Sweden to give me some perspective make me realize just how perfect Sweden really is - and just how Swedish I had managed to become!

Oh Stockholm... oh how I'm going to miss you.

After my impromptu shopping trip, I met an old colleague/friend for a glass of wine at Anglais and then we moved on to Vapiano for fabulous pizza and more glasses of wine and lots of catching up. It was a lovely evening... which I immensely regretted (at least that 4th glass of wine) the next day when I woke up with a headache.

Of course being the crazy person that I am, I decided that I would not let a little wine headache get between me and a lovely morning for running (seriously it was a gorgeous day). So, I ignored the pounding in my head and threw on my running shoes and went out to pound the pavement for an hour run in my most favorite park Hagerparken - where I used to run every day when I lived in Stockholm. Let me just say that this obviously did not help my headache which proceeded to haunt me all day until - well... until I started drinking again!

After work my fabulous Stockholm team brought me for drinks and dinner to celebrate the fact that I'm leaving my current job for a new one. They surprised me by bringing me to Wallmans Salonger where we saw a dinner show made up of songs written by Bjorn Ulvaeu and Benny Andersson (most famous for being part of ABBA but also for composing 3 musicals the most famous of which is Mama Mia).

Those Swedes sure do love their ABBA. I have to say that after all the time I spent in Sweden, ABBA has grown on me, but I still find that I do not know most of the songs and certainly cannot sing all the lyrics like most Swedes can. Anyway, the show was a lot of fun and it was a great night!

Friday started with another wine headache but this time I decided to skip the run. Another great day at the office and then back to Diplomat for more drinks with colleagues. We then headed to Anglais for more drinks. What else?

And GUESS WHO I SAW at Anglais? You got it. The Beautiful Swede was there!! The thing is that he had been on my mind since landing at the airport. Last week after writing about him, I had a very vivid dream about him where he met me at the airport and tried to force me to talk to him. I had this strong feeling that I would inevitably see him in Stockholm - it's a small city and you spend your life there bumping into people. So, I unfortunately found myself looking for him everywhere. Searching the faces of any tall handsome men (believe me there are a lot of those) to make sure it's not him.

I promise, I did not WANT to see him or interact with him, but I could not help looking for him. As if by searching for him, I could be sure to avoid him.

Anyway, many people came out to meet me at Anglais (I have great friends) and we were standing by the main door (and I was keeping half an eye on the door kind of waiting for him to walk in - I even commented  to my friends that I was nervous about bumping into him) when suddenly one of my friends suggested that we move over to a different part of the bar (it's a big bar). I thought it was a bit of a strange suggestion but didn't dwell on it. And by that time I'd had enough wine that I swear I'd finally stopped thinking about him. About 45 minutes after we moved, out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a tall beautiful guy with a familiar face walking fast headed toward the second exit caught my eye. It was him!!! The Beautiful Swede!

AHHHHHHHHH! My heart stopped beating and launched itself into my throat. I felt nauseous. I forgot how to breathe for a second and my legs started to shake! Panic! What do I do?

So, what did I do? I did what any girl in my position would do. I ducked down and covered my head with my hands protectively and hid in the group of girls who instinctively surrounded me and I closed my eyes - as if I closed my eyes then he wouldn't see me either! When I finally dared to stand up again and started to breathe, I realized that he had just headed to the exit and it seems that he did not see me. I had a friend check that he was really gone (he was). And I eventually regained my cool and went on with the night. I wasn't going to let a little ex-boyfriend siting ruin a night with my friends. However, I still can't believe that he was there and even more unbelievable is the fact that we managed to avoid an interaction! Amazing.

My friends admitted that they had seen him earlier and that was why they suggested we move away from that side of the bar. They didn't want to tell me he was there because they didn't want me to either decide to leave or decide to speak with him (I think I would have left) so they hoped that we would not bump into each other.

With that tragedy narrowly adverted, we continued on to Undici for a night of dancing to bad Schlager music and getting hit on by old Swedish men (there was some kind of private golf party going on so the place was packed with uninteresting old men and minor Swedish celebrities).

After a rather late Friday night, Saturday morning's 10 am meeting for the kick off of our friend J's hen party came way to soon! But I'm happy to say that I successfully made it there on time and without even a headache to show for my late night the night before!

In traditional Swedish fashion, my friend had been "kidnapped" at her house that morning by her two bridesmaids and then brought to meet us. I like the way the Swedes approach hen parties (and bachelor parties are apparently even more crazy) - it's always a surprise, it's always well planned and thought out, and it's always a full day and evening event with lots of activities designed to make your friend who's getting married feel special.

The rest of the day consisted of pony racing (which involved driving a cart pulled by a pony - see picture below) and belly dancing followed by a dinner at F's house and then off to the nightclub Berns for some clubbing.

My friend who is getting married had various tasks to do during the night. One of these tasks included finding and taking a picture of a Swedish celebrity. This is not hard to do in Stockholm, if you glance around almost any club you can always find some kind of B list Swedish celebrity.

The celebrity she found was named Torre Kulgren (see picture to the left)** - famous for being a "Geek" who tried to play football (and yes, I mean soccer) on a Swedish reality TV show. I have not seen the show but it was explained to me that he apparently became the star of the show because he was just so socially awkward and therefore hilarious.

For some reason, I started talking to Torre later in the night - I think this was in part due to my new BFF C who I had met at the hen party and was having an awful lot of fun with that evening. Anyway, Torre took a liking to me and tagged along with us for the rest of the evening. As my new friend C put it, "well you found yourself a pet." And I know that it's kind of mean to say that (I'm not really a mean girl), but that's the best way I could describe him.

Unfortunately, my new "pet" made it difficult to talk to other men. But that was ok I guess - it doesn't have to be about meeting hot boys all the time. Besides, I found Torre completely amusing (and nice) and he kept flattering me by telling me how cute I was. But, I have seriously never met such a socially awkward person! I wish I had been able to remember some of the really funny things that he said when he was not even trying to be funny (but alas the wine did me no help here). And you should have seen the world's most awkward hug goodbye he gave me at 4:30 in the morning when we finally left the club (yeah - I killed it this weekend with late nights every night). Leave it to me to find the most dorky man in Sweden to hang out with for the night!

All in all, it was a great trip to Stockholm. It always is. Although I didn't meet any hot boys or kiss any Swedish boys in the rain... I got to spend a lot of time with good friends. I'm going back to Sweden for the wedding in just 2 weeks. I can't wait!

*For anyone who has just started following my blog, I lived in Stockholm for 5 years until a year ago when my company moved me to London (a move I didn't want to make).

**As you may have noticed, I never use names or put pictures of people in my blog but as he's a minor Swedish celebrity, I have decided it's ok.

Words of Wisdom

So, common sense should dictate that the day after the full out raging work summer party, IS NOT the best time to test the fire alarms in the building! Seriously. This morning, while everyone was looking a bit worse for the wear and the office was eerily quiet as everyone tried to nurse their hangover and keep a low profile. When suddenly, weeee ooooo weeee ooooo weeee ooooo - various alarms begin to ring throughout the building. This goes on FOR ONE HOUR! I’m pretty sure that me and everyone else either wanted to die or wanted to kill someone. Whose great idea was that? I mean COME ON!

Speaking of words of wisdom...

There is nothing that qualifies me to give advice to anyone else. But I just felt like writing down some inner wisdom's that I hold to be true. What words of wisdomn do you have? Comments appreciated!

Family and friends are the most important things in life. Happiness comes from your relationships. Family and friends are your connections with to the world.

Sometimes when you are really tired and only have an hour, going for a run is better than taking a nap.

Everyone looks better tan.

When you are feeling sad, pat a cat or a dog - pet therapy really works.

Everything is better when the sun is shining.

Singing in the shower will put you in a better mood instantly.

You should always have fresh flowers in your house.

If you want people to celebrate your birthday, throw a party for yourself - don’t wait around hoping to be surprised.

Time does heal everything but unfortunately knowing that doesn’t help when you are stuck in the moment of pain.

Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes it takes us awhile to figure out what that reason is.

Take the road less traveled - as Robert Frost says: it will make all the difference.

You should always make your bed before you leave the house if for no other reason than the fact that it’s so much nicer to get into a nicely made bed at night rather than a messy one. Actually my host mother in Costa Rica gave me the best reason for making your bed: Bugs get into unmade beds she said. I have made my bed every day since!

Buy expensive sheets with a high thread count. It makes a huge the difference. Your bed should be a wonderful haven for beauty sleep and fabulous dreams!

Follow the rules but know when to break them. Rules are made to be broken.

Try to be a good person. At the end of the day, that’s what matters most.

Don't be afraid to be Glamorous! Embrace your inner glamour as much as possible and always try to look and be your best.

It's always better to be overdressed than under dressed.

Try to live in the present and enjoy each moment. And don't get too focused on the destination - in the end it's the journey that counts.
Money is important but not that important. Money is made to be spent. Live, spend, have fun. But do make sure that you have some money put away for a rainy day (aka - savings).

Someone once said something I believe to be very true: Life is defined by the places you visit, the people you meet and the books you read. Everyone should try to read a lot, travel as much as possible and make new friends but be sure to keep the old.

Spend time on your relationships with friends and family and those who matter to you. They are important. Email and call old friends. Keep in touch with people you care about. It will make you happier and in our social media world, there is no excuse not to. It’ so easy!

Reality TV can give you a nice break from “reality.” Watch it. But do watch television sparingly. At the end of the day, it’s better to live life than to watch it on TV.

Work hard but be sure to play harder.

Don’t be afraid to try new things. In the end, you will only regret the things you DIDN’T do.

Happy Thursday everyone! I hope you all are looking forward to the weekend as much as I am!

Thankful Thursday

So, I'm making an effort to blog more (meaning more frequent, shorter, less meaningful posts). And I apologize for no boy updates recently. I am taking a break from Match.com (mostly due to lack of time) and not exactly by choice but again, more due to lack of time, it seems that I'm taking a break from boys in general. So, I'm sorry not to be entertaining you with romantic episodes... But hopefully I will have some boy updates soon... Anyway, in the meantime...

It's Thursday and I think that I will try doing something different for once. I will try to be thankful....

Here are the things that I am thankful for on this Thankful Thursday:

• I'm thankful for the things that everyone should be thankful for like my family and my health
• I'm thankful for my many friends around the world who make an effort to stay in touch (and read my blog) - more specific friend shout outs below...
• I'm thankful for my amazing group of friends in Sweden who always make such a great effort to plan fun things to do when I visit. And who I'm looking forward to celebrating my birthday with very soon!
• I'm thankful for the S20 girls who I will hopefully see in Boston very soon.
• I'm thankful for my 3 close girlfriends from high school who I will get to see quite a bit of this summer due to the upcoming weddings! B is getting married and S and I will be there for sure!
• I'm thankful for the fact that my sexy single friend A not leaving London although she is leaving my company and I will miss her at work
• I'm thankful for my friends M and T who have been with me on sooo many adventures - most recently Londontown
• I'm thankful that it just MIGHT finally be summer in London! Woohoo!
• I'm thankful for the cold corona with a lime I'm drinking while I'm writing this
• I'm thankful for the nice run I had at sunset in the park tonight
• I'm thankful that the park was green and full of lovely flowers! And that it was finally warm enough to run in shorts and a T-shirt
• I'm thankful that the weather forecast for the weekends say warm and sunny - Finally!
• I'm thankful that I am going on VACATION in just 4 weeks!!
• And Finally... I'm VERY thankful THAT TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!

By the way, I just found out that I graduated from college exactly 10 years ago. Thanks C for the Facebook update! I feel old now.

Good night everyone! And be thankful it's Thursday because that means
 TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!

Time Management

So, I'm rushing down the street late - as usual - to an appointment. And someone steps in front of me and says "Excuse me, could I have a couple minutes of your time?" (Apply appropriate British accent since this is London and all). And I yell at him "I'm late" as I push him aside thinking "are you for real? Like I would have any time!" (I'm also thinking kind of mean things like "if I did have time would I spend it speaking to you?" - this would of course have been reconsidered if he was super attractive, and "I'm way too important to spend time talking to you."

But out of the corner of my eye, I see him catch the woman behind me and she is all like "sure I have some time" and she whips off her ipod headphones and settles in on the sidewalk to answer his questions. And right down the street his buddy has managed to capture another woman's time. And neither of them looked stressed or put out at all!

And I start to think... maybe it's just me who doesn't have time. Amazingly enough, it does seem like OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TIME! (Other people also don't seem to feel that they are too important to talk to random people soliciting them on the street. Well noted. I will add this to my steps to becoming a better person blog post: "try not to feel self important for no reason; make time for others even though they may seem inferior to you." Ooops - well. I'll work on phrasing that one right if I ever do manage to write a blog post about becoming a better person. Don't hold your breath).

So, I'm starting to realize that it might just be me who kind of sucks at time management. The thing is that I am perpetually late for EVERYTHING (except airplane and trains and things that really run on a strict schedule - then I'm so freaked out about missing them because I know that I'm a perpetually late person, that I end up ridiculously early although still usually stressed that I'm somehow late). For example, even though I live exactly 1 minute walking distance to my office, I am still late every day. If there is a meeting, I am inevitably the last person in the room. If I'm meeting a friend, I leave them waiting for me (unless they know me really well and then I usually wait for them if I ever happen to be in the vicinity of the right time as they always expect me to be late). Besides being the most impatient person ever, my other huge weakness as a manager/colleauge is not being able to stick to a meeting schedule - EVER. I perpetually run my days 10 mins behind. I tell my teams that if they have a meeting with me... that for planning purposes, they can expect me to be 10 mins late and that I apologize in advance. I also find myself running - yes, running and looking very cool as I sprint down King's Road in my work clothes - to appointments when I make them during the work day. The back Doctor who I see on a regular basis right now always seems slightly amused that I manage to turn up out of breath and sweaty to each and every appointment - he also has suggested that running with a heavy handbag might not be the best thing for my back. Point taken Doc. But I swear every day I try to leave the office a little bit earlier and every time someone pulls something urgent on me right as I put on my coat. I feel like putting on my coat is like the universal sign for everyone to freak out and start asking me questions. Jeez. I'll be back in an hour. I'm SURE the world will not fall apart in that amount of time. And if it does start to, well that's what Blackberrys are for!

For those of you who are thinking that the fact that I'm late for everything shows a total lack of respect for everyone else who is waiting for me... Well, I promise this is not true - it just means I'm late (always) and actually feeling bad about (always). Although you might not believe me after the comments from the first paragraph (seriously, I am a very very nice person - just not on Mondays).

My problem is that I am a time hoarder. And a time filler. I have an action packed schedule every day. I hate wasting time - I love to overpopulate my agenda. And, i I EVER find myself running early for something, then I quickly come up with at least one (usually 2) projects that I think I can accomplish in the extra 5 mins I might be running ahead. So, I try to squeeze that in quickly and it inevitably takes longer than I planned (and if it doesn't, I inevitably squeeze something else in). These small project include but are not limited to: cleaning the bathroom, various laundry tasks, trying out new hairstyles in the mirror, looking at my pores, rearranging my closet by color, decalcifying the espresso machine (that small project that was going to take me 5 mins managed to take me one hour and made me totally late for EVERYTHING for the entire weekend), checking emails, writing "just one more email" (this is what makes me so late I work), writing this blog, updating my CV etc. You get the picture.

The good thing is, that I'm very productive when I have something else to do or somewhere else I should be - I mean you should see just how much I can get done before going to the gym.

As an old habit, I like to blame my lateness on my best friend from high school S. S is one of the few people in the world who is later than me for everything. I mean like WAY later. In high school we would drive to school together in the morning and we were always trying to convince some teacher (usually of the male variety) to give us a pass so we could pretend we were not really just plain late. We were always the last girls out of the locker room, the last girls off the bench and onto the softball field and the last people to get into the classroom. This summer as we will attend two weddings together, I'm already thinking about the fact that this time we need to get there in a timely fashion. I'm hoping that my other best friend from high school K will sort us out (although I know she hates that we rely on her to do that) because last time S and I went to a wedding together we managed to make it into our seats just seconds before the bride went down the aisle with lots of snickers (don't you love that word) and giggles from those around us who knew us from high school as the girls who are late to everything. But I have to admit that while for a short time in high school and for the couple times a year we see each other now, she does have a negative influence on my timeliness, I can't really find a way to blame her for the fact that I'm ALWAYS late on my own when living on a separate continent from her. So, S - I guess you are finally off the hook. But let's try to get to the weddings on time this year (and hopefully the directions are right this time - see there is always a good excuse for lateness).

So, I guess it's time to take ownership of my own lateness. I'm going to set a new goal to try to be on time (at least half of the time). I'm going to get up 10 minutes earlier. I'm going to watch my clock better at work and see if I can stay on schedule. I'm going to leave on time for my appointments and walk rather than run. I'm not going to send "just one more email" or start "just one small project." And next time someone on the street asks me if they can "have a couple minutes of my time," well I'm probably still not going to talk to them because I probably will still have better things to do (well unless I've started my "be a better person" project by then). But maybe I will at least be able to consider stopping to talk to them because this time, I won't be late!

But oh look. It's now 10 pm. I was planning to go to the gym. But I've procrastinated so long that the gym is now closed. I'm already off to a great start.

Don't Let Your Friends Set You Up!

One of the many 'joys' of being single is that your friends often try too hook you up with men they think are "perfect for you!"

My Swedish girlfriend had been trying to set up her colleague and I for a long time. She would always tell me how "perfect" he was for me. In fact, we had actually met each other a few times but each time one of us had been with someone else. He was someone who on at least on paper seemed good for me: tall, moderately handsome, Swedish (I love those Swedish men), good career, smart, motivated, hard working, and well traveled and in fact really into adventure travel... For the sake of this post, let's call him the Swedish Adventurer.

Anyway, on a trip back to Sweden, I randomly met up with the Swedish Adventurer and we found that for once we were both single and also were needless to say quite intoxicated at this point of the night. This realization of course encouraged a drunken make out sesssion in a stairwell while our even more drunk friends waited for us at McDonalds - Classy - I know). Despite our drunken state we did manage to talk about him coming to visit me in London.

Maybe it was the alcohol (blame it on the.... ok enough). Or maybe it's because my friend had been encouraging us for ages, but mostly I think I just WANTED to be interested in him. I wanted to be interested in anyone BUT the Beautiful Swede (who I was actually in Stockholm to see). But if I had been really honest with myself, I would have had to admit that our chemistry didn't feel right.

But I selfishly went ahead with the idea of using the Swedish Adventurer to get over my Ex and I continued with an actual delusional hope that maybe he was the one. And right before Christmas-time, just a couple weeks after that Swedish trip, the Swedish Adventurer came to London to visit for the weekend.

I was actually excited for his visit. The first night we had a great dinner and good conversation - I could definitely see why my friend thought we would be a good match. But something just didn't feel right, there was really no chemistry and I again had the feeling that this just wasn't the guy for me. This was confirmed the following day when I realized that his idea of a "fun afternoon" in London was to spend it SHOPPING. Ok. I do not like to shop. I like to have new things (often) and this causes me to need to shop (frequently) but I honestly don't enjoy shopping.

My rules for shopping go something like this:

• always shop alone


• never spend more than an hour shopping


• only shop if it's necessary


• never shop if there is something better to do

Therefore, I tend to limit my shopping to lunch time runs. Being dragged around London shopping with a guy was NOT fun. Especially since he wanted to go to record shops and men's clothing shops. I was BORED out of my mind. After a polite amount of time standing around trying to pretend I was having fun, I attempted to excuse myself (I was having a small Christmas party that evening and I really wanted to get home and prepare) but this guy did the typical girl shopping thing: "just 5 more mins, I promise and we can leave together..." I was hoping that he would come with me so I could get him to carry some groceries from the store. So, I sucked it up and waited for TWO MORE HOURS for him standing outside the store in the cold.

Finally we headed back home and right before we got to the grocery store, he ran off into ANOTHER store to just "have a look." So, I ended up carrying all the alcohol and groceries by myself anyway. Amazingly I managed not to turn this into an argument. Unusual for me. I guess I really did want this to work out...

The other notable event of the weekend involved a fish bone. That's right. A fish bone. Before his flight, we went to the pub for a traditional British dish of Fish and chips. And the guy chokes on a fish bone! Ok seriously, this guy is into adventure travel and has pictures of himself standing next to lions and stories about all kinds of crazy adventures in Africa and other places, and he manages to get a fish bone stuck in his throat and almost die in a pub in London (ok I don't think he was near dying but there was a actual discussion of whether or not going to the hospital was necessary)! If you have never seen someone choke on a fish bone let me tell you, it's not a pretty site. There he was coughing, choking, turning red, making loud gagging sounds, spitting and generally disrupting everyone else in the pub. I was verging between trying no to laugh, being embarrassed, losing my apptite, being concerned, and just being ready for him to leave. He finally coughed up the fish bone and then caught his flight.

But it was the second visit that turned catastrophic. I really didn't have any feelings for him but I when he sprung the second visit on me, I was feeling a bit down over my Ex - the Beautiful Swede - so in a moment of weakness I told him "yes" as I thought it would at least distract me a bit and if nothing else, at least we could be friends. By the time the trip actually came up, I realized that I could have done a good enough job distracting myself with the many men in London. I also realized that I really didn't want anything romantic with him and there was definitely going to be any physical intimacy between us (not that there had been much the first time anyway).

But I didn't have to worry about him trying to put the moves on me and me having to reject him because I was saved by the violent puking sickness. One minute he was fine and drinking champagne with my friend and I before we were to go to a club, the next minute he was puking his brains out. My friend and I being the sympathetic people we are went out with out him and had a blast meeiting other men.

I tried to feel bad for him, but I couldn't. Men are big babies when they are sick and having him moping about in my apartment all weekend was a real buzz kill - especially when I had a massive hangover and all I wanted to do was mope around on my couch without a pukey germy guy sitting next to me. I was also extremely worried about getting sick myself, I had a huge week at work the next week with a product launch that I'd been working around the clock to help pull off. This was not the week for me to be sick - the puking sickness is contagious in the extreme. So,I counted the hours until he left and shut the door behind him with a huge sigh of relief. I don't think I will be seeing him again. And I definitely don't hold it against my friend who set us up - she only had good intentions. But I think I will be very careful before throwing myself into another weekend with a man I hardly know. Famous. Last. Words.

Lessons learned

• Always go with your gut instinct when it comes to men


• If it didn't work out the first time, don't give it a second chance


• Don't make a first (or second date) with someone into an entire weekend - WAY too risky


• If you don't like to shop, don't date men who LOVE to shop


• Eat fish and chips very carefully and check for fish bones


• If a fish bone does get stuck in your throat, eat bread


• Sometimes, men just look better on paper


• Don't let your friends set you up

Closing the Ex Files

"Have You Ever Tried Sleeping With a Broken Heart, Well you Should Try Sleeping In My Bed" - Alicia Keys

It feels that in order to give an honest summary of my dating escapades this fall, I have to begin at the beginning. And that would be with my Ex Boyfriend: The Beautiful Swede.

One of my biggest problems or downfalls is that the Beautiful Swede keeps trying to creep his way back into my life and has been around a bit too much this fall. Officially we broke up in August. Unofficially we kept seeing each other until well... I guess the beginning of December when I last saw him in Stockholm. We stopped talking every night at the end of October. So, it feels like the real break up began then... Actually, what am I talking about? We were breaking up and hurting each other all fall! That was the problem. Every time I made a little bit of progress and got away from him a little bit, he would push his way back in and hurt me all over again.

We keep deciding not to talk. I keep telling him we are not going to be friends. He usually respects this for a short time and then starts to try to contact me in various ways. I mean dating has become so complicated with technology! In addition to the phone, we now have emails, text messages, Skype, Blackberry Messenger, Google chat, Facebook... Ugh. There are so many ways to keep in touch or get in touch. And yes, emails count as contact. The problem was, when the Ex contacted me, I thought he missed me! And unfortunately, I sure missed him...

Christmas was a low point for me. I had made a lot of progress in getting over him in the fall. In fact, in part due to an introduction of a new man (The Swedish Adventurer - see future post) while visiting Stockholm in December, I actually felt like I was finally ready to close the Ex-files and move on. Seriously. But against the advice of my friends and mother, I decided to see the Beautiful Swede at the beginning of December and stay with him for 2 nights while working in Stockholm. I knew it might not be a good idea. I knew that it might open the door again. I knew there was really no point in seeing him since we had decided again and again that our relationship wouldn't work out in the long run. But I really wanted to see him. So, as usual, I didn't take the advice of those around me and instead I followed my heart and saw the Ex.

And, it was good! Good to see him but also good to leave him! I really felt like things were over. We still had amazing sex (why oh why is break up sex always the best) and he could still make me laugh with his dorky sense of humor and all the reasons I had dated him for the past year plus were still there but at the same time, it felt like the blinders were off and I could see all the bad things very clearly too. And the overwhelming realization I had was - he just doesn't love me enough. And why would I want to be with someone who doesn't love me enough... And the funny thing, is I actually felt ok with this realization. So, when we kissed goodbye and I went off to catch an early morning flight back to London, this time there were no tears, and in fact I felt ok, relieved almost that I had survived the time with my Ex without doing more damage to my broken heart. Ready to get back to my life in London. Ready to meet a better man. Ready to put the Beautiful Swede behind me and close the Ex Files.