A Little Sunday Rant

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Thanks everyone for your really nice comments on my last post. I have missed you all too! I'm glad to be back.

I'm sorry to say that right now I'm going to have a little Sunday rant.

So, here I am having a really tough time with the move back. And there I am out with some friends who were asking me about my dating life and I admitted that it was pretty lacking. That I really wasn't trying very hard to date but that I was having trouble meeting Boston men who were interesting to me or were interested in me. When pressed more as to what was wrong with Boston men and what was I looking for... I tried to honestly express how I feel.

I said that I'm not so interested in men who are really into JUST sports and local Boston culture. I don't see myself dating a guy who has lived in Boston (or the surrounding towns) his whole life and that's what he wants to do for the whole rest of his life. I just don't see that happening. I don't see myself dating someone who doesn't ever want to leave Boston and live abroad.

My friends then asked me if I realized that the things I was saying were highly offensive.

Offensive? What?

I was shocked. No. It had NEVER ever occurred to me that the things I was saying might be offensive because it has NEVER ever occurred to me to judge other people or criticize them for wanting different things than I do. While I don't particularly want to date someone who only wants to live in Boston for the rest of their life, I absolutely do not judge them for their decision. In fact, quite the opposite. I'm envious of them for having figured out where they want to live and what they want in life while I'm still searching.

The things I was saying should never have been taken as offensive because they were never meant to offend. They were words said with no judgement or criticism of anyone else but perhaps only with a inner sadness of knowing that most men do not want to date a girl who doesn't necessarily see herself living in this country for the rest of her life. And sadly, I don't want know what I want in life and also don't want to limit myself to living here when right now it's making me miserable.

I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that I absolutely do not judge people for living and staying in the US. And I do not judge the people on the street of Boston for being Bostonians and loving their sports, their country, their beer, their American life. I am absolutely not criticizing them or looking down on them. They are my parents, my friends, my co-workers. What kind of person would I be if I walked around judging them? But what kind of person would I be if I decided to date them just to feel trapped and then decide months later to jump on a plane and go live somewhere else.

I will admit that when I first started traveling, I felt a small level of superiority. I had escaped my small town, I was seeing the world, I was doing something different. I was taking the road less traveled, I was living my dream of being an international woman. But over the years I have revised that feeling and rather than feeling superior to those who settled down somewhere, I feel envious of them.

The change in feeling was fueled (as so many things are these days) by Facebook. I suddenly had a direct view into the lives of people who I went to high school and college with who made different decisions than me. I suddenly had a better peak into the life I didn't choose (but always secretly wished I did), the life I chose to leave behind and go searching for something else, something better? (for me) perhaps in different countries around the world. But what I found when I looked into their pictures and saw their status updates, was that they were HAPPY! Really and truly happy. And I realized that it's not about where you live or what you are doing that matters, it's about how happy you are with where you are and what you are doing. And I also realized that while flitting around the world has been extremely interesting and eye-opening, it hasn't necessarily contributed to my overall happiness or personal well-being. In fact, if I am honest with myself, I would bet that most of the people whose lives I was stalking on Facebook, are probably a lot happier than me. And it was with that realization that I dropped any last bit of superiority or judgement that I might have had towards other people who have made the choice not to dance around the world trying to find themselves.

If anything. I judge myself for being different. These days I'm full of quite a bit of self-hatred because most of all, I know that fact that I'm not fitting in here has everything to do with me, and nothing to do with anyone else. I hate myself for not knowing where I want to live or what I want to do in life. I hate myself for not coming back home and fitting back in. I hate myself for not knowing if I want the American dream, or the Swedish dream or even the London dream. I hate myself for being so torn as to what I want in life. I hate that I'm still searching for something or someone when everyone else is settling down, getting married and having kids. You see... I want those things too. But I realize that I can't really have them until I make some other decisions about my life - like what country I want to live in or where is "home" to me.

And by the way, I've also TRIED to date an All-American guy. When I graduated college I dated the All-American boy who lived down the street from my parents. He had been my high school crush. He was your typical All-American guy. He loved his micro-brews and his Bud Light equally. He listened to Dave Mathews and the Grateful Dead incessantly. He was passionate about sports and would never miss a Red Sox game. He loved BBQ's and hot summer nights. He wore a baseball cap and sports shirts. His dress up clothes (that I bought him) were khakis and a polo. He loved his country. He loved his town. He loved me. Until I decided that I wanted to move to Bali to work. And then he dumped me.

And this has been the story of my life. I wanted to stay with him. I thought we could work it out. I thought that I would come home for him after I had my adventure (I knew he would never move for me). But maybe he knew me better than I knew myself at the time. He thought it was best if he let me go. "You're never going to be happy here," he told me. "You've spent the last year that we've been dating trying to convince yourself of it. But this is not meant to be. You are meant to go out and explore the world. This is what you've always wanted to do. I'm not going to be the one to hold you back."

Okay, he was not a man of many words, so he didn't put it as eloquantely as that. But that's what he meant. Over many conversations, over many years (we remain in touch), he has basically said those things to me. And he was right. I did spend a lot of time trying to convince myself that this was my "destiny." That I was going to trade in my dreams of living abroad for the "American Dream" that that would be okay.

But fate intervened and sent me to Bali and then on to the rest of my travels. And I can't help but think that was really the "right" thing for me. It was.

And it's not just American men. I had the same problem with Swedish men and I used to express the same things to my Swedish friends. I do not want to date an American who only wants to live in the US, just the same as when I lived in Sweden, I didn't want to date a Swede who would never consider leaving Sweden. I knew it was over with the Beautiful Swede when he came home with me and I talked about possibly wanting to move home and build a house in the US and live the American Dream. He essentially freaked out and told me that he did not share that dream. The he couldn't ever see himself living in the US.

So, I'm not being criticical of American men or even Swedish men or in fact any men anywhere. I'm just realizing that at least at this point, I've decided that traveling and living abroad is very important to me and that if I meet a man who doesn't share that dream, who doesn't see himself living outside of where he is from or where he lives right now, then that man is probably not the right man for me.

I want someone to share an international adventure with me. I want someone who would be flexible enough to pack up our family and move to Asia for awhile if my job (or his) asked. I want someone who could see themselves living in Sweden or the US, or London, or Dubai for that matter. I'm not done traveling. I'm still hoping that someone will someday want to join me. But I also realize that is putting a lot of limitations on not even who I would date but on who would want to date me. If there is one thing I learned again and again over the years: men don't like women who are always leaving (nor do they particularly seem to like women who are always working, or even worse traveling for their jobs).

Right now, I've been spending a lot of time trying to convince myself that Boston is right for me. But I'm not feeling it at all. And that makes me so very sad. I really hoped that I would move home and everything would fall into place and I would have that amazing "Aha" moment where I felt like "YES! THIS IS IT! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!" But it hasn't happened.

And let me tell you... It's the worst feeling in the world to not feel at home in your own country. I have spent the last 9 years abroad feeling like a foreigner. And now I come home and I'm shocked and saddened to feel like that in my own country. I've never spent more time alone and sad and depressed. I've never cried myself to sleep so much.

Sometimes, I even find myself often wishing that I never lived abroad. That I had never made friends all over the world. That I had never left my home in so many places. A reader of this blog made a great comment on one of my posts. She said " I think that moving overseas is like opening Pandora's box. Once you have done it home is no longer one place but where ever you are a bit of home is where you last were." She is right. Home is everywhere that you have been and that makes it hard to really know where home is. I think that everywhere you go and live and love and learn, you leave a little peace of yourself behind. And right now I feel that I'm no longer a whole person because I have left so many pieces behind. And right now, I have no idea where I want to be or who I truly am.

Or to look at it another way,  a wise woman once told me that it's hard to live life when you have so many doors open. It's hard to know which one to go toward, which one to walk through. That to be really happy, you sometimes have to close some doors.

And that thought of closing doors scares me. I'm afraid if I close some doors I loose some part of myself. Right now I have three doors open with the words Boston, London, and Stockholm written above them.

Honestly, I would really like to meet the love of my life and fall head over heels. But as I've said before... how could anyone love me right now? How could anyone love me when I don't love myself? I don't think that falling in love can happen for me until I learn to love myself and be comfortable with where I am in my life. And part of loving myself has to be understanding myself enough to know where I want to live and what doors I'm ready to close.

And just to clarify I do not think I'm special because I've lived abroad. I do however think that I'm different from others who have not had this experience. And I do not think that is a good thing. I hate being different. All I want is to fit in. But 9 years abroad is a long time. It's my entire adult life. The influences in my life have been very international, very European and I'm struggling here in an environment that's less international with less people around me who've had a common experience. So no, I do not think I'm special. But I might feel different and I might react to things differently. I hope my friends can understand that and support me as I go through this. I hope that just as they ask that I don't judge them, that they will not judge me and that they will try to understand what I'm going through.

So, I truly apologize to my friends and to anyone else I may have unintentionally offended when I was talking about what I'm looking for in a life partner. I never meant to offend anyone. The type of person that I hold up as my "ideal" partner is not a reflection on anyone else - it's only a reflection of my own messed up self and this whole sad and confused internal battle I'm having as a result of repatriation after 9 years abroad.

International Woman of Mystery - Unveiled in a game of tag

Jewels over at Turning 30 has tagged me! Thanks Jewels! Now that I've been tagged. I have to answer 19 random questions about myself. So, here we go...


Oh before I start, I apologize for my recent absence. The equation goes something like this: 


Bad cold + Extreme tiredness + Winter Blues + Boring stuff going on + Extreme Addiction to Mad Men = No motivation/time to blog. Sorry. Will try to be better. I've just got a bad case of the winter blues. But I'm glad Jewels tagged me because this is nice and easy - no thinking involved (ummmm... I wrote this before I tried to answer the questions - I take it back! This was hard)!


1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are the members of your family?
Ir's funny because we always had a lot of pets growing up. I pretty much considered them to be a nuisance. Part of the family, I guess... but an annoying part. To be honest, I didn't care about them much. But suddenly that changed and I really like animals. I don't have any animals of my own (I mean, I can't even keep a plant alive) but my parents have a dog and 2 cats and I love their animals (although one of the cats isn't really that special to me). In fact, I went home to see the animals see my parents this weekend and got lots of pet therapy. It was great! 

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be? 
To be really and truly happy and feel comfortable with where I am both physically and mentally in my life. Oh, and I want to run a marathon. I have suffered various injuries over the years and this dream has slipped away. But my fellow boot campers are inspiring me to pursue treatment and make the marathon dream happen. 

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?
I hate hypocrites I can't stand being judged by someone who is guilty of the same flaw they are judging me for. I also hate people who are just plain mean for no reason. And condescending people. And know-it-all's. And people who maliciously gossip. And back-stabbers. And people who betray you. (Can you tell I'm struggling with some people around me right now)? So, I guess to summarize, I would say that I hate people who don't make an effort to be good people. No one is perfect (I'm certainly far from it) but it's trying to be a good person that counts the most... 

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Quit my job and travel, travel, travel and hopefully do some good in the world as well. 

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
A long run. A hard gym session. A chat with a good friend. A random act of kindness. A drink. A nice email. A  beautiful compliment. A wonderful song. A sunny day.  Making plans for the future. Patting the cat or dog (see number 1). Watching an episode of Glee. 

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Oh who knows! Aren't they equally amazing? Although maybe I don't really know. Outside of family and friends, I have never "loved" or "been loved" by anyone. Sad. I know at 32 years old... but it's true. Secretly, I might have loved the Scottish Boy. But I really hope there is a greater love out there so I refuse to call that love because if that's what love is, I don't want it. 

7. What is your bedtime routine?
Put on pajamas, get in bed, set alarm for ridiculously early hour, take out contacts, read until tired. Pray that I will fall asleep rather than laying awake all night as I do so often now. 

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
Well that one's easy. I'm permanently single so I don't meet "partners." Umm...  this is kinda my problem.  

9. If you coould watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be? 
I'm sorry. I'm totally at a loss right now. Skip to the next one. 

10. What kinds of books do you read? 
I'll pretty much read anything. I just re-read Pride and Prejudice! So good! And now I'm reading The Weird Sisters and Freedom. I enjoy popular literature as well as the classics. I shamelessly love both the Twilight series and Harry Potter. And good crime novels are often a guilty pleasure of mine. 

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
.I see myself as a highly powerful woman with an awesome career. I'm probably living abroad somewhere with my family. I will be married to a very handsome and incredibly smart man. He is probably a foreigner. He is most likely Swedish. We are totally in love and can't believe our amazing luck at finding each other. I can't decide if he will have an important career or if he will stay at home with the kids. I will have 2 beautiful children. A boy and a girl. They are wonderful and smart although unfortunately if my husband also has an important career, they are probably being raised by the nanny - although when I am around, I'm an amazing mother.  I'm as glamorous as ever. I host lots of dinner parties for friends I have actually learned to cook and I'm actually not that bad at it when I find the time and feel motivated, but I also have a personal chef who helps out from time to time because I just can't be bothered. My husband is a big wine connoseur and loves showing off our wine cellar. And of course, I'm gorgeous and look at least 10 years younger than I really am (I don't actually plan to age). 

12. What's your fear?
Someone close to me dying. 

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
No way! I mean I would considering giving up junk food for the right reason. But going into outer space has never ever interested me. In fact it totally freaks me out! 

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?
Oh jeez. I am single and while not exactly rich (nowhere near rich really), I have the means to live well. But I feel like I'm lacking something. So, maybe I would be better off married and poor. I mean money doesn't buy happiness. There has been studies on this kind of thing. In fact, I read a book this summer (called The Pursuit of Happiness - it's awesome - read it) that says as long as you make enough to stay above the poverty line, then income has very little impact on happiness. In fact, if you come into a lot of money suddenly, you are temporarily happy but then you drop back to your original happiness level that you were at before you got the money. I would therefore probably rather be married in a good relationship and poor (although preferably not poverty poor obviously).

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
Press the snooze buttons as many times as possible. And when I finally realize I have to get up, I usually complain out loud (oh, the benefits of living alone) and hate the world for a little while. Most mornings after complaining, I put in my contacts, throw on my outdoor exercise clothes (laid out the night before), stretch for 5 mins, fill a bottle of water (with hot water in the winter or it freezes), add gloves and a hat and outside layers. Throw on my sneakers and get out the door at 5:50 for Boot Camp class! 

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?
I'm feeling some discrimination against single people here! Why do questionnaire like this always have to do with your spouse or your partner. It's like those damn security questions that you have to answer on bank websites and stuff. I swear that my bank has never heard of single people. The last time they made me answer security questions they gave me 6 questions and I had to answer 3 of them. Only 2 were appropriate for me such as what's the name of your childhood pet? Or what's the name of the street that you lived on as a kid? The others were all like what is the birthday of your significant other? What is your partner's mother's name? What is the birth date of your youngest kid? I think I actually made up a name for my imaginary partner's mother. I really hope they don't make me recall that in order to get my bank information. Seriously people. What is wrong with being single? Please be less discriminatory in your questions!

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Ha ha.... International Woman of Mystery is pretty awesome. I can't really do better than that. Actually, my real name (which surprisingly is not IWM) is actually kind of awesome. I have a super boring and ordinary first name - it was the name of the year, the year I was born - but my last name makes up for it especially when the two are put together. I don't even think I will change my name when I'm married. I like my last name too much. 

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
I'm all for giving people second (and sometimes third and fourth chances) but I'm unlikely to forget. That would be stupid. Wrong me once shame on you, wrong me twice shame on me and all that... I guess it depends on the level of seriousness. I do hold grudges, but usually only for very short times. What is most important is that someone apologizes or at least makes an effort to patch things up. 

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
Ugh. I have no idea. That's a tough one. I mean am I supposed to tell you my absolute favorite food and tell you I will eat that all the time? Or am I supposed to be serious and think about nutritional value and weight gain? Well, my gut instinct is to tell you NACHOS - the loaded nachos with lots of cheese and veggies (tomatoes, olives, jalapeños, mushrooms, peppers, onions, corn) and salsa and guacamole and sour creme! Throw some chili on there (although I'm not sure I want to eat this for 6 months) and you kind of cover the important food groups. But seriously, I LOVE NACHOS!!! They are my number one favorite food. I probably could eat them for 6 months straight/ 


So, there you go: 19 things about me you probably never wanted to know! 


I tag the following people but of course you are ALL welcome to play along: 


Life Begins at Thirty


Texpatriot Musings

Mademoiselle L 

Domestiphobia 

4 Things

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I was given this tag by the very sweet Sarah Elizabeth. Sarah Elizabeth is a Scottish girl living in Italy with her Italian husband working on renovating a 16th century house. How cool! She's also a budding photographer. Check out her beautiful blog, her beautiful photography and her tips on green, simple living. 

Apparently, I now need to list 4 things on various topics.

So, here are my 4 things:

4 Shows I watch

• Glee (I'm a total GlEEK)!
• Gossip Girl (Love the fashion although the writing this season is just terrible)
• Jersey Shore (I love me a little GTL)
• True Blood (have yet to watch season 3 - so excited) 

4 Things I'm passionate about

• Exercise
• Traveling
• My friends and family
• Work - I know... that sad but kinda true

4 Phrases I say a lot

• Awesome! (This is a new one that has come up since I moved back to the US and I'm totally overusing it)
• Totally (That's another one that has recently come up)
• Wow
• Are you serious?

4 Things I've learned from the past

• Don't do what everyone expects of you - dare to be different
• Sometimes when you are really tired and only have an hour, going for a run is better than taking a nap.
• Take the road less traveled - it WILL make all the difference
• Don't be afraid to be Glamorous! Embrace your inner glamour as much as possible and always try to look and be your best. 

Want to read more words of wisdom from the International Woman of Mystery? Click here

4 Places I'd like to go

• Africa (I was there this summer and can't wait to go back)
• Sweden (I know. I lived there but I still can't wait until I can go back and visit my friends. I miss Sweden LOTS)
• Bali (Again, I lived there but I really want to go back)
• Argentina 

4 Things I did yesterday

• Worked
• Spent too much money online shopping
• Had dinner with friends
• Fretted over my New Year's Eve plans 

4 Things I'm looking forward to

• A trip to London/Sweden to see my friends(I hope this will happen soon)
• Traveling more
• Summer
• I can't think of a 4th one... I'm struggling right now to find things to look forward to. I can tell you one thing I'm NOT looking forward to: New Year's! This is a terrible holiday. I wish it didn't exist. 

4 Things I love about winter

• Christmas
• Iceskating
• Candles and cozy time
• Snow Days

4 Things on my wish list:

• A Boyfriend (big surprise here)
• Louboutins
• Mac Book 
• Flat Screen internet enabled TV

And finally pass the tag onto 4 other bloggers:

• Jewels at Turning 30: A Journey of Self Exploration 
• Hanna at Den Absoluta Singeln
• Katie at Domestiphobia 
• Jules at Night Notes on Napkins 

Thank you Sarah for tagging me.

Random Updates from an International Woman of Mystery

So, since I haven't had much time to blog lately, there is a lot I need to update you all on - including my Halloween adventure and costume choice!

So, this blog is going to totally lack any structure (as if my normal posts are so full of structure anyway) and I'm just going to tell you what's been going on and what's on the mind of this International Woman of Mystery!

So, here are my random updates:

On Halloween

The costume choice for Halloween ended up being...Drumroll please....

THE VINTAGE NURSE!

So, the vintage won out over the sexy firewoman - but mostly because I got the costume on and couldn't be bothered to change again. Both were pretty good outfits and Crazy Sexy Friend S was not very helpful as she liked them both too and made me change them back and forth until I got tired and went with the Nurse one because that was what was on!

Halloween weekend ended up being fun but not really over-the-top. Actually, I found it pretty overwhelming to be out and about and meeting new people and trying to adjust to American culture - especially after a long week at work of trying to remember names.

Friday at work was total Halloween madness. Some of my colleagues were in full on furry animal suits! Yikes!

I decided to do my part in dressing up. I wore a white dress and a halo and wings and my colleague wore devil horns and we were The Forces of Good and Evil. It worked and was kind of cute. At least that's what people told us.

The day was full of candy and sugar highs and culminated in a Halloween parade and costume competition followed by drinks at the bar. The bar was packed and I stayed for awhile drinking with colleagues whose names I for the most part couldn't remember, before heading out to another bar to dance to some live music. I made my way home around midnight - totally exhausted.

And the next day I woke up with a HANGOVER. Ugh. That's what happens when you drink 5 beers and do not eat dinner. A late afternoon run shook away most of the hangover. And then it was time to get ready for Halloween take II.

Crazy Sexy Friend S went hiking on the day of the party and managed to twist her ankle. So she was not in top form. Crazy Sexy Friend S lives in South Boston (aka Southie) so I went over to her hood. We started off at a pretty low key house party which was nice but there were not too many people there - and definitely no hotties.

We then moved on to a crazy huge party at a certified bachelor pad. This apartment was home to 5 men and had an HUGE INDOOR pool. It was a scene for sure. Lots of people. Lots of crazy with people cannonballing into the pool. But Crazy Sexy Friend S wanted to leave. And she kept asking me if I was having fun. And while the scene was interesting, it's kind of hard to really have "fun" when you don't know anyone and you know your friend wants to leave. So, we decided to call it a night.

On 6 am Boot Camp Class

Because it's totally normal that when you are in the middle of a move and feeling a bit out-of-shape that you sign up for a 16 session 6 am boot camp class to whip you back into shape. Oh wait? It's not normal? It's in fact absolutely insane? Oh yeah... Right. I wish someone had told me that BEFORE I payed $250 to be tortured every morning.

It hasn't helped that it rained poured 2 of the 4 mornings so far. On the first day, it was absolutely pouring down and really windy. As I lay on the cold wet ground doing sit ups with the rain splashing on my face... well, let's just say that I couldn't wait to come back the next day! ha ha...

Actually, it's not that bad. Physically it's challenging - but in a good way. Nowhere near as hard as the British Military Fitness I attended in London (which was good - I have back problems and as they didn't emphasize form or structure, I was too afraid of getting hurt).

And it's good for me to actually do something for myself. Since I have graduated college and started working for The Company, I have never ever done something like take a class. With my crazy work and travel schedule, I wasn't able too. Life was too unstable. So, I'm happy to be doing something for myself. Let's just hope the results pay off!

What was not such a good idea was starting this AND moving at the same time. Moving is rather physically challenging - especially since I live on the third floor. My body is so sore and exhausted right now. Friday was awesome because I actually got to sleep in. I never thought that sleeping until 8 am would feel like sleeping late!
Week one done - just 3 more weeks to go! Next week class meets every single week day!

On So Not Being a Morning Person

The most challenging thing about the Boot Camp is the fact that I'm so not a morning person! I never go to bed before midnight. I often don't go to bed until 2 am. I don't have to be at work until 9 and as I live close to work, this means I can get up at 8, or at the earliest 6:30 if I want to go for a run (although admittedly I tend to reach for the snooze button rather than my running shoes - which is why I'm torturing myself with the Boot Camp as it forces me out of bed).

So, getting up at 5:25 to be at Boston Commons by 6 fully dressed and stretched is a difficult one!

So, because of these EARLY mornings, I should really be in bed by 10 or 11 at the latest. But with all my trips to Ikea and building furniture and unpacking boxes, this has been a total FAIL this week. And therefore at work I've been completely exhausted yawning and barely able to keep my eyes open. Not fun! I really need to get myself on the early morning schedule!

However, it is kind of nice to be up that early. I'm back at my apartment by 7:10 and I can sit and have a coffee and read the news blogs and not have to worry about rushing around. I even managed to put together some Ikea furniture before work!

And as the work out is done in the mornings, I have my evenings free - which is nice. I can now meet people for drinks after work without feeling guilty about not going to the gym.

On living in America again

The transition is harder than I thought in some ways and easier than I thought in others.

I don't think it's hit me yet that I'm here for good. I still feel like I'm on vacation. And I've been so focused on the move and getting settled, that I haven't really been living. I have hardly been out of my apartment or office besides my trips to Ikea and Target. I haven't had any chance at all to explore Boston or the nightlife.

I have to say though that when I have a quick moment to reflect, I feel desperately homesick for Europe. I miss my friends and I feel far away from them.

I'm afraid that when all the manic craziness of the move is over, that I'm going to look around and want to pack up and leave again.

On the other hand, there are lots of nice things about being home as well. Boston is a beautiful city. And I have a pretty nice life here. My office is great. Life is comfortable. I have more friends around then I thought... It's pretty easy to live in the US (once you get past all the moving bull shit). Although I have never been one to go for "easy."

On my new neighborhood: Beacon Hill

This might be one of the most charming neighborhoods in the world! I can't wait to explore it more. But the gaslight streets and tiny brick roads make it seem so cozy and cute. And what a great location. Walking distance to everything in Boston! Whole Foods (the best and unfortunately the most expensive store ever) is right across the street. And it only takes me 15 mins to walk to work (bonus exercise) - good thing I bought that new car!

On the loudness of city living

The only downside is that it's LOUD living in the city. My apartment in London was really quiet.

In addition to the loud constant buzzing noise from a generator on the roof of the store next door, there is also a fire station less than a block down the street. So, the wailing of fire engines is now incorporated into the daily background noise of my life.

And speaking of fires and loud noises, I learned the hard way that the fan must be when you take a hot shower or else the fire alarm WILL go off. There is nothing like loud obnoxious beeping first thing in the morning when you are naked and soaking wet!

On Downsizing from a big two-bedroom to a tiny one-bedroom apartment

This is no fun at all. My London apartment was about twice the size of my new Beacon Hill one! Last Tuesday, moving men delivered 43 boxes from London. I could hardly even fit the boxes into the apartment. Luckily Super Dad came to the rescue and helped me unpack and put together the couch that was delivered. And I sent a whole carload of "stuff" home with him (much to my Mother's dismay).

On Ikea

Well, I've hardly had any time to miss Sweden since I've practically been LIVING at Ikea!

Seriously, that place sucks you in. I have been there 3 times in the past week.

And then you get the furniture home and you have to spend hours BUILDING it! I finally finished the last piece of furniture I had to build yesterday. My apartment now has a full  bedroom set plus a couch thanks to Ikea.

But at least my visits to Ikea got me a good dose of Sweden with some Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes and lingon berries. Yum!

On Dating

Moving alone is lonely. More than ever, I'm ready to find a man. Since the Hot British Writer (who I still think about way too much btw), I've been in a bit of a dry spell. I definitely feel like I'm missing intimacy at the moment.

However... the sad sad thing is, that I have not seen one attractive man since I've been home! I know. I know. I haven't exactly had time to be out on the prowl... but in Stockholm (the land of beautiful men), I would see hot men everywhere. The walk to work alone was great for hottie spotting!

As soon as I can manage to get settled, I need to switch my Match.com account back over to the American version and line up some dates (another good thing about working out in the morning, I have evenings free to do social things - once I get my apartment settled that is).

I'm also hoping that I'm Attractive Single Friend C will soon take me out on the town and teach me the Boston tricks!

Alright. I could go on forever. But I think that's enough of my random updates for now. I hope you all feel caught up on the life of an International Woman of Mystery.

Come back tomorrow for pictures of my new apartment!