Returning to London: Part II - The Date

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So, needless to say after my all-nighter, I was VERY tired when I finally found my way into my very small bed in my very small London hotel room at 7 am. So tired that I didn't wake up until 4 pm and had totally missed brunch with Sexy Single Friend A - which I was really bummed about. I also woke up with a hangover. But, it was Saturday and I was in London for a short time only, so I forced myself into the shower and met my colleagues for dinner and drinks. But it was an early night this time. I was back in the hotel room by midnight. Although... I have to say, if my colleagues had been up for it (they weren't), I could have pulled another all nighter!

On Sunday I got up comparatively early and spent the late morning at the gym followed by some shopping and then I met M and T for dinner and drinks then back to the hotel to get some sleep before the work week.

Monday and Tuesday were busy with work and catching up with old colleagues and of course paying visits to the London pubs around the office and getting my fill of pints.

Nostalgia definitely set in. It was strange. Here I was back in London, it felt almost as if I had never left. Part of me wanted to stay and never leave again.

But let's put the reflections aside and get to the good stuff.

On Wednesday night, I attended a gathering arranged by The Company for some of our field staff. Of course this involved a trip to the pub after and drinks sponsored by The Company. I had fun catching up with European colleagues and doing some networking. But soon enough the pints got the best of me and I had to go to the ladies room. I walked into the women's room, entered the stall and did my business. I was washing my hands when suddenly a man walks out of the stall next to me. He looks at me, then looks around and then looks back at me and sheepishly says in his British accent "I'm in the women's room, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are actually," I said. And then we had a good laugh about it. I noticed that he was tall and attractive although perhaps a bit older (his age was later confirmed to be 37) than the young hotties I tend to go for and perhaps a bit less "pretty-boy" and a bit more "rugged" then tends to be my norm.

We returned to the bar and ordered another round of pints and continued to talk. He was really interesting. He is an actor and a certified London tour guide. Well-traveled and very outgoing with lots of interesting stories. When that bar closed, we went on to a loungey place and continued talking. My colleagues bailed out one-by-one but this guy had me hooked with his stories about travel and London history. But once again, the lights at the bar came on and the bartenders were kicking us out. Is anyone counting? This is the 4th time during the trip that I shut down the bar/club. Actually it was the 5th! On Tuesday night, my colleagues and I were also kicked out of a bar at midnight when it was closing (some pubs in London close at midnight - most close at 11. Clubs and loungey-type places close between 3 and 6).

The British Tour Guide then safely escorted me to a cab. "Too bad, I don't have an extra helmet with me, or I would give you a ride on my motorbike he said." But before I took off for my hotel the following two things happened:

1. We kissed. It was nice. 
2. He persuaded me to have lunch with him the next day before catching my flight to Stockholm. 

"Text me in the morning," I told him.

As I had Thursday and Friday off from work, I got to sleep in a bit in the morning - which was nice since I didn't actually get back to the hotel until 4 am - which is REALLY late on a school night! Upon getting out of the shower, I got a text from the Tour Guide. He was still interested in lunch. Was I? I was interested! Although I was supposed to have lunch with old colleagues... But I'll be back in London soon enough, I can meet them next time... Why not go on a date with the hot British Tour Guide?

It was a beautiful day in London. The sun was out. It was almost-warm (balmy compared to Boston actually). It felt like spring. We decided to walk around an art gallery (Museums are free in London which is really great). It was so much fun to walk around with him! He observed things in a different way than me and kept me amused with his running commentary. Obviously, being a certified Tour Guide means he has impressive knowledge of London and it's history. I learned more about the Chelsea area of London in that one afternoon than I had in all my time living there. Too bad I didn't know him when I actually LIVED in London. Funny how that works.

After the art gallery, we sat outside (yes it was that warm) in the sun and had coffee and continued to talk.All in all, it was a great date! I have not had a single positive interaction with a man since the British countryside incident. It was really nice to be back in the dating game. It was really nice to have a man interested in me. It was a really nice date. He was a really nice guy. Unfortunately, he kind of lives on the wrong continent.*

Sadly, the time caught up with us too quickly - I had a flight to catch, So, the Tour Guide walked me back to the hotel and saw me off in a cab to the airport to head to Stockholm.

Although excited to go meet my friends in Stockholm, I was sad to leave London. I wondered if I would ever hear from or see the Tour Guide again.

Stay tuned for the final installment of this trip: Stockholm! There is just so much to tell you. Also coming soon - a Valentine's Day post! It is tomorrow. It is not my favorite holiday although I've had some very interesting Valetntine's Day over the years in many different countries. And I just might have a date (a blind double date) lined up for tomorrow night! And if that doesn't get you excited, I also met a guy this weekend that I need to tell you about. AND are you curious at all about what has happened with the Tour Guide? Has he been in touch? Are we Facebook friends? Is he planning a visit? Stay tuned and find out!

*Note: I can now check number 4 of my list of dating challenges because I can now say that I have been on a date with an older man! http://womaninternational.blogspot.com/2011/01/dating-update-part-ii.html

Returning to London: Part I - The All Nighter

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The smell of the plane as I entered the walkway to board made me feel nostalgic. It had been more than 3 months since I had last boarded a plane - the longest time in at least 5 years that I had been away from this mode of transportation. I do not particularly enjoy flying and suffer from anxiety before flights (I have a strong fear of dying on a plane), therefore I was surprised by the nostalgia I felt for something that I had formerly decided I hated. 

I was very pleasantly surprised by the fact that the plane was less than half full and I had 2 empty seats to myself. Even more pleasantly surprised was I by the fact that when I asked for red wine (oh yes, after the 10 day detox I was right back to drinking), the flight attendant says, "You know that American charges right?" 

"Yes," I said.

"Well, I don't."

Seriously. Isn't that the BEST line from a Flight Attendant ever? So, I stretched out in my two seats and enjoyed two free red wine bottles courtesy of the awesome flight attendant on American Air! What a nice start to the trip!

I arrived in London at 7 am Friday morning and met my colleagues who had flown on another flight (a crowded BA one) and since our rooms at the fabulous Sloane Square hotel weren't ready, we had a leisurely breakfast at the hotel and then went and took long naps and then went for a long session at the gym (yes, we chose the gym over shopping in London - sad I know but bikini season is just around the corner and stuff).

I had been planning my return to London carefully. I wanted to see as many people as possible during the course of the trip. Why not kick it off with an after work gathering at a local pub and invite everyone I knew? Well, why not? That's just what I did. The Facebook invite to the event had been sent a couple weeks before and many colleagues and old friends planned to attend. I also invited blogger friend Life Begins at 30ty who had moved to London just as I moved back to the US. I was excited to meet her and she did not dissapoint. First of all she is beautiful - I can see why Matt79 is smitten. Hell, I was smitten! Second of all, she was fun (see her version of the night here and here - and you should check it out because she sheds light on some different details that I'm not going to go into for various reasons). And third of all, she's just a  really cool down-to-earth girl with lots of great life experience and good stories. I regret that I'm no longer living in London. I would love to hang out with her more! 

Also present were M and T and Sexy Single Friend A who you might remember from the London stories. It was great to catch up with them. It was great to catch up with everyone. I loved seeing my old colleagues and friends. It felt as if I had never left. And I felt very nostalgic for London. For old friends. For old times.* 

We filled ourselves on beer and gorged ourselves with bar food (fish and chips for me). And too soon the lights came on and the music was turned off and the bartenders were asking us to leave.  

But we weren't ready to call it a night yet. Oh no! The night was young. Bars close at 11 in London. So, we decided to go back to the scene of many drunken crazy nights good times during my time in London - good old Valmont Club. We were a smaller group than the pub crowd. But I was excited that Life Begins was going to join as well as M and T, Sexy Single Friend A and my colleagues traveling with me from Boston and various other people. 

Upon entering Valmont, we realized that we hadn't really been there on a Friday night before... 

But no worries. It didn't matter that the club was empty and that the awesome dj was not playing awesome music (the music was a bit of a bummer). We grabbed one of the weird padded VIP rooms in the back and ordered countless glasses of champagne and we made our own fun! 

On my way to the bar, I managed to bump into a young (i.e. 25) Spanish guy who when I asked him to guess my age and nationality decided that I must be a 23 year old Swedish woman. I was obviously flattered and proceeded to make drunk small talk with him until he tried to kiss me and then I realized that I needed to abort and run back to my friends. He continued to circle around me all night and for some silly reason I gave him my name and told him we can be Facebook friends. Oops. See, the thing is that I've been a little attention-starved lately due to the fact that men in Boston don't seem to be into me... So, I have to say, I did enjoy the flattery. However, I think it might be time to DE-FRIEND. 

Back in the VIP room the single gals of the group turned the conversation to dating and how men are just idiots. And then Sexy Single Gal E topped it all with a crazy story of a first date that somehow managed to end in Face Licking before she got up and went to the bathroom and left him there! We had a good laugh and drank some more and before we knew it the lights came on and we were once again the lights came on and we were being hustled out the door by the bartenders. 

But we STILL were not ready to go to bed. The night was young and we were drunk on champagne and jet lag. My Boston colleagues and I safely escorted Life Begins to her night bus and we headed back to the hotel to have an after party. Because that is obviously what you do at 5 am in London when you have arrived off a flight from Boston that very day and have already shut down a bar and a club. 

So, we cranked up the music (oh the other hotel guests must have loved us) and soon-to-be-married B entertained my other colleague and I with her crazy dancing and we polished off two more bottles of wine (they were weird medium sized one but still, so not necessary) and suddenly we looked at the clock and realized it was 7 am!!!!! How did it get that late? I mean that early? Where did the time go? How am I still standing having hardly slept at all? Obviously it was time to bed. So, we all decided to finally call an end to a fabulous night and go catch up on our much needed beauty sleep. Cuz after all, this was only day one of the trip!

This concludes part I of the London portion of the trip. Stay tuned for part II where I meet a guy in women's rest room and go on an awesome date and then get on a flight bound for Stockholm. 

*Much more on this topic later. I'm going to give you the fun details and fill you in on the more crazy activities of the trip and then give you my more serious reflections. This trip definitely brought a lot of emotions and thoughts to the surface and made me strongly reflect on my life. But more on that in a later post. 

Back to Boston

I'm baaaaack! Feels like I've been gone forever. Doesn't it?

Did you miss me? I missed you all. Very much! I can't wait to catch up on reading your blogs and tell you about my awesome and amazing trip. 

But... unfortunately, I'm going to have to ask for your patience for just a little while longer. It might take me a couple days to get my feet back on the ground and find time to blog. In addition to the whole range of emotions that I'm feeling after this trip... sadly, my grandfather passed away this weekend. My parents called me while I was in Stockholm to tell me. He was 89 (we had all gotten together just 2 weeks ago to celebrate his birthday) and died peacefully in his sleep. It's not a tragedy and it's probably a blessing - he didn't suffer and we all got to see him just recently. But it was a bit unexpected and shocking and it's dredging up a lot of emotions. 

But I do have lots and lots to tell you. And you are very much in luck! While it might take me a couple days to gather my thoughts (and unpack and have some time to grieve), you can see a sneak preview of the London part of the adventure over at Life Begins at 30ty's blog!

Life Begins at 30ty

That's right. On this trip, I had my first ever blogger date with Life Begins who is - as she calls it my "twin sister in reverse!"* And let me tell you she is totally beautiful and totally awesome - but more on that later (when I tell the story from my side). Check out her take on our party night in London in part I and part II.

And stay tuned!!! I have great stories to tell including meeting Life Begins, partying until 7 am, meeting a man in the women's bathroom (it's not quite as sleazy as it sounds), having an impromptu date on a beautiful London day, meeting old friends in Stockholm....

But for now... please go check out Life Begin's version of the story.

And see you soon! 

 *Life Begins is an American girl who moved back to London (she had lived there before) when I was moving back to the US. So, we were going through lots of the same emotions but in reverse. I'm a huge fan of her blog and now a huge fan of hers!

Standing Still

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There was a night last fall when I found myself with colleagues standing in the middle of the Red Square at around 11:00 pm and all I could think about was going back to the hotel and sleeping. The next week I was in Rome standing in front of the Colliseum with a similiar thought. I was standing in the midst of some of the most historic places in the world and I was no longer thrilled. I was just tired. And that is when I knew I needed a break.

With this in mind, I took some actions that put forth a chain of events that caused me to move "home" to  Boston in late October. This has been just about the longest time I've been home in the US in 9 years.

I've been back in the US for almost 3 months now. And for the first time in a very long time, this International Woman of Mystery is standing still. Completely still. And I'm freaking out.*

And this stillness is making me crazy. I thought that standing still would be good for me, that taking a moment out of the jet-set madness that was my life would help me figure out who I am, what I'm doing and what I want to do next. I thought that moving back to the US would give me some answers as to what I want my life to be. I thought that stopping the non-stop travel and the long hours and the crazy work, would give me some perspective. I thought that maybe living in the place where I'm from and stopping the constant work-related travel would make it easier to meet men and form better friendships. I thought that for the first time in a long time, I could establish a routine and stick to it. I thought that standing still would be good for me, and in many ways it probably has been... But it has not been easy. I didn't think it would be easy.

But I didn't think it would be this hard.

At first it was exciting. It was like moving to a new country but with old familiarity. And there was all the logistics of finding a place, starting the job, getting settled. And that at least kept me very busy.  Now that the craziness of the move is over, and I've had time to take stock of my new world, it's suddenly starting to hit me. This is my life.

This is it. And it's lonely. There were days in the not so recent past that I would have killed for a few free seconds, for a three week period where I didn't have to fly somewhere, for a work day that started at 9 and ended at 6, for a day where people weren't lining up at my desk to ask me questions or get my advice, for a day when  I didn't have 9 hours of meetings scheduled.

And now I have time. Lots of time. Too much time. Too much time to be lonely. To think about the people I miss. Too much time to think. Too much time to realize that unfortunately, moving home didn't make me happy. Nor has it helped me to feel better about my life or about myself. Instead, I feel even more lost. I miss my friends. I miss living abroad. I miss my old job. I miss the travel. I miss the bustle and the flow and crazy pace of life. I miss being an expert at what I did. I miss having a team of people to manage. I miss being part of a different culture. I miss being different. I miss being international. I miss being a foreigner. I miss exploring and discovering new cities. I miss the excitement of new adventures around every corner. I miss the difficulty. I miss taking the path less take over the well-traveled and comfortable road. I miss the challenge.

I'm having trouble defining myself in this new world that is my life. The ways that I defined myself before - as an International person, as a hard-working person, as a well-liked and respected person at work who encouraged a lively office social scene. Those are now gone. I'm no longer international. I'm no longer working very hard. I'm no longer very important at my job. I no longer have a very big network. Some days I feel invisible. As if there is nothing tying me to this world right now. As if I could just float away, disappear and no one would notice.

At least when I was living abroad, even when things were not going well or I was feeling down, I always felt that I was doing cool/interesting/glamorous things. Being an American living abroad made me feel special. I was doing something different. Taking the road less traveled. And sometimes that thought alone was enough to get me through the day. 

But back home here, I no longer feel special. I mostly just feel invisible and lost. I feel underwhelmed and under-challenged. I was so used to life being a constant adventure. One long rollar coaster of crazy events in crazy places. And of course, I'm not going to lie, I sometimes wanted to get off. I definitely was curious to see what it would be like to stand on steady ground. And I'm glad I got to find out. But I really miss the excitement of the ride. More than I ever thought I would.

And when I lived abroad, when things got hard, I always told myself, well you can always "move home." And although I knew that moving home would be hard too, it always stood out in my mind as some kind of solution. Some kind of problem solver. Some kind of destination. Some kind of change that I could make that when I reached the end of all else, going home would be what was left and that would be ok.

But now I am home. And suddenly I realize that "home" is no longer home. And I feel like a foreigner in my own country. And I wonder where is "home?" And what is my next move? Where do I belong?

I don't regret moving back. I know it's what I needed at the time. I needed to stand still if for nothing else than to appreciate the ride when I get back on it. But I can already feel it... That same familiar feeling that has haunted me all these years -  my feet are getting restless and my heart is yearning for travel and adventure. I wonder how long I will actually stay here in Boston. I wonder what my next adventure will be. I wonder if things will get better here. Or if I will be off again too soon to find out.

I knew it would be hard. But I didn't ever think it would be this hard...

*I've been trying to write this blog post for almost 2 months now, but have been struggling to get it to try to convey the emotions that I'm feeling - I'm still not there but I wanted to post this before I took off for my first trip abroad since moving back. Weather permitting, I'm off on Thursday to London/Stockholm. The trip is bringing to head a lot of emotions and questions and fear and excitement and confusion. Since I've moved home, I've been struggling with the question - where do I belong? And where is home, if "home" no longer feels like home? And what do I do next? 

Reflections on 2010

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The end of a year, the beginning of a new one... what better time for reflections and resolutions. And I'm definitely in a reflective mode (and trying to dry out after too many Christmas spirits). So, this post will be a reflection on 2010 and the next will most likely be a post about resolutions (or not since sometimes I change my mind).

It's been a big year.

In January and February of last year, I decided that I needed to figure out my life and try to  have fun. The year before had been hard because I was forced to move from my beloved Sweden to London and was given a crazy impossible job with looong hours and lots of travel. I had also just broken up with my Beautiful Swedish Boyfriend and I was feeling pretty bummed out. Since 2009 had been a pretty tough year, I was really hoping that 2010 would bring about some much needed change. And I wanted to document that change, so I started this blog - New Year, New Blog.  I decided that I would try out the dating scene in London. I also decided that it's pretty hard to be friends with your ex, so I cut him out of my life completely. After trying out different men and experiencing various BAD DATES, I had a visit from a Hot American Boy and we had a Great American Affair in London (by the way, American Boy is still the best guy I have met in the past year - if only we were more compatible in the bedroom...). I remember January and February of last year as "the calm before the storm." For the first time in many years (until now), I didn't travel anywhere for 8 weeks and I just got to enjoy living in London and not working quite as insane hours. And you know what? I actually had a lot of fun!

Then March came around and that all ended as I began the launch of a huge project at work that continued to make my life miserable right up until the day I decided to leave London (and work-wise might have played a large role in the need for a change). As I was constantly on a plane and in the office in March, I only wrote 4 blog posts but it was apparently a reflective month for me. I thought about what it meant to be an International Woman of Mystery fine tuned my Internet Dating Strategy, wondered what we all did before Facebook and wondered why all my friends were getting married, while I was just getting drunk.

In April there was Easter and I continued to be very busy at work. There was also the small issue of the volcano in Iceland that wrecked havoc on air travel and caused all London airports to shut down. It was very weird to see not a plane in the sky especially since this coincided with a lovely spring weekend. The volcano did get me out of a Brazil and a China trip though.

In May I spent two weekends in Spain! First, I visited my brother in Barcelona and I went on a work trip to Madrid where we spent the weekend having a blast!  And I started to worry about the FIVE weddings I would attend that summer as a single gal.

In June, I went to my first wedding of the season in Sweden. I also returned home to the US for vacation and went to the second wedding in Western Mass. Then I went to a third wedding in San Fransisco!

In July, I celebrated the Fourth of July in the US and I went to the fourth wedding on Nantucket. After my long vacation, I returned to London and was back to hanging out with Swedes. It was at this time, that I decided that I would soon be leaving London and returning to the US. I decided that I should get out and explore London as much as possible, even if I had to do it on my own.

In August, I went on a trip to Smogen in Sweden with the girls. I also went to South Africa. In-between all this jet-setting, I found some time to Internet Date and went on a date with a Sexy Cop.

By September, my time in London was limited although I was less sad about leaving London then being far away from  my beloved Sweden. I mourned the end of the summer and I felt sad when I found out my ex (as in the love of my life ex boyfriend) had gotten engaged. I also told the story of how I became an International Woman of Mystery in parts one two and three and I then announced to all my blog friends that I was moving back to the US and starting the next chapter of my life. And of course just 2 weeks before I was supposed to leave London, I met the most perfect man in the most romantic setting of the British countryside and we spent an amazing night together. Unfortunately, he had a girlfriend - if he didn't I might never have actually left.

In October, I went to the fifth and final wedding of the season in Sweden. I also MOVED HOME to the US and bought my first car, began to rediscover America, started my new job, found an apartment and celebrated Halloween.

In November, I moved into my new apartment in Beacon Hill and learned a lot about what to do and what not to do when moving. I quickly realized that moving and buying all new furniture all alone, was very hard. There were so many times I was desperate for a man to help me. But in the end, I did it on my own and have come to love my cozy little apartment. I also celebrated my first Thanksgiving in the US in a very long time.

And finally comes December where I hit my 100th blog post! Yay! It was actually my final post of 2010 - how appropriate, but I kind of wasted it by drunk blogging about a silly night out in Boston - how typical. In December, I had a disappointing visit from Nomad Boy and I had trouble getting into the Christmas spirit. But then I found myself getting into all sorts of trouble BECAUSE of all the Christmas spirits (and this is why I'm drinking a cup of tea right now instead of my usual glass of red wine... sadly, overindulgence has lead to the need to detox. Can I just point out that tea is JUST NOT the SAME as a glass of red wine)? And finally to end the year, I wrote a pathetic and pleading letter to Santa to find me a perfect man - Santa Baby - I'm counting on you! Please don't let me down.  

So, that's it. That's my year in review. A momentous year in the fact that I moved home. But also a sad, lonely and difficult year. I really hope that 2011 will be better.

The Making of An International Woman of Mystery Part III: Europe

This post is about The Making of an International Woman of Mystery.

Making an International Woman of Mystery is not an easy job. And it's a long process. Therefore, this is a long story. To read Part I: The Early years, click here. To read Part II: Asia, click here.

So, The Company moved me back to Boston and I was happy. And I had some days off between the two jobs so I did what any normal person moving to a new place does: get a car, get an apartment, start to get settled.

And then I started my new job. And on my very first day, my new manager called me into his office. And I took one look at his face and I said "Oh no. You are going to ask me to move again, aren't you?" You see... I was starting to get to know The Company quite well by now, and I knew that "look." I had also been given a small hint that the job in Boston might not be a long term reality. In China, just as all my bags were packed and I was set to get on the plane to Boston, the President of our entire division emailed me and said "International Woman of Mystery, what do you think about Sweden?" And of course, I responded "Sweden sounds like a nice country but I prefer Boston. Thank you very much."

But that email tipped me off and as a result, I knew it would only be a matter of time before I was asked to move again. I just thought I might have a little more time...

So my manager said "We want you to move to Stockholm." And I said "No." And of course, as is The Company's procedure, he refused to take no for an answer and hinted that if I didn't accept the job in Stockholm, I would soon be jobless. So he says "Just fly to Stockholm and meet with the The President and see what you think." Well, who can refuse a free trip to Stockholm? Besides, I had many Swedish friends who I had been wanting to visit anyway.
 
Now, I must reveal that my The Company is in fact a Swedish company. So, I had spent the last 4 years working with Swedes and therefore had quite a few Swedish acquaintances and one really good friend JT who I worked with in both Boston and China. And while in China, JT's friends and family had come to visit and I got to know them a bit. And her friend F and I really hit it off. And I was a little bit involved with a Swedish man (a story I will NOT get into). And I had been thinking about going on a trip to Stockholm - perhaps at New Year's. But neither them nor I ever imagined that it was even a possibility that I might MOVE to Stockholm!
 
But somehow just two weeks later (less than a month after leaving China), I found myself on a plane to Stockholm for "a visit." JT had left China at the same time I had and was going to do a bit of a world tour before returning to Sweden, and she was not even back in the country when I visited, but luckily the Swedish man was there to welcome me.
 
And somehow The Company managed to convince me to move to Stockholm - mostly by going all out to show me a fabulous time during my visit and offering me a spot on the management team and a job totally awesome that I couldn't refuse.
 
And so just a little over a month after returning to Boston, I packed up again and left my apartment and car (and all my furniture - as my parents refused to pick it up less than two months after dropping it off) behind in Boston and I took of for Stockholm. And this trip that was initially meant to be 5 months, somehow turned into 5 years! But I'm getting ahead of myself.
 
While JT and friends were very surprised (pleasantly so) to find I was moving to Stockholm, they rolled out the red carpet and welcomed me with open arms and tried to make me feel at home. In fact, I realized later that I was very lucky indeed to have the foundations of a great friend group in place when I arrived. Being a foreigner in Stockholm can be very hard. Swedes are notoriously cold and not very open to meeting new people.* Most foreigners move to Stockholm for love and find it difficult to make friends. Over the years many foreign female "love refugees" struggling to find a friend group, have expressed to me their envy of my large and awesome group of friends.
 
But still, in the beginning it was hard. for me too - although hard to say just how hard because my perspective has shifted. I now look back through rose tinted lenses - colored by my amazing experiences and the positive people I have met over the years. It's difficult for me to see Stockholm as it was when I first arrived.
 
But, I do remember that my overwhelming memory of Stockholm when I first arrived is that it was DARK and cold. The winters in Stockholm are not actually as extreme as Boston (they don't get as cold) but they are very very long (while Boston is more short and intense). I had literally gone from laying out in the sun at my parent's pool right to the airport to get on the plane to Stockholm And when I arrived in Stockholm, I was shocked to find that already in early September it was winter. I had packed a suitcase full of summer/autumn clothes expecting Stockholm to have the same warm autumn as Boston. I realized right away that was a big mistake! The first thing I did was go to the store and buy a scarf and a winter jacket!

Living in Stockholm was not easy. It was not like China where the cultural differences are so huge that it made it ok to just do your thing and not really attempt to adapt to the culture. In China, I expected not to fit in. I felt comfortable with my "foreignness." But in Sweden there were so many subtle differences that took me years to learn.

There were just so many small things to master like eating the European way with fork and knife remaining in each hand (not the switching hands shovel-food-in-your-mouth American way), or learning to be humble and to lower my loud American voice, or respecting the very strict rules regarding doing your laundry in the communal apartment laundry machines (seriously, the laundry room is a big source of contention often resulting in huge shouting matches between neighbors), or understanding that if you do not get to the liquor store between 10 and 15:00 on Saturday, that you will not have any alcohol for the weekend (so you had better make it a point to schedule this in), or making sure to always take off my shoes when entering someones home, or bringing my own alcohol with me to a party, or bringing my own bedsheets and towels with me when I'm going to spend the night at a friend's house, or realizing that it's a compliment when your friend buys the exact same dress as you and that if you and 3 of your friends end up wearing the same black H&M dress on the same night, well that's perfectly fine!

But I guess I did ok with mastering some of the subtleties. My friend's mom recently commented that when I first arrived in Sweden I seemed "so American" but now I seem "so Swedish."
 
While in Stockholm, I truly became an International Woman of Mystery. Sweden was country number 4 for me (5 if you count the US). And in addition to living internationally, my job required a lot of international travel (which I swear sounds a lot more fun than it really is). I traveled for work to such places as: Budapest, Moscow, St. Petersburg, Malta, Miami, Madrid, Barcelona, Milan, Rome, London, Cambridge, Shanghai, Beijing, Bangkok, Paris...

I even had a very crazy 2 years when I first moved to Stockholm where I actually SPLIT MY TIME between Shanghai and Stockholm and had apartments in both places. This was due to my working situation at that time which caused me to need to be constantly back-and-forth, and truthfully I didn't mind because I had the Scottish boy in China and my friends in Sweden and a great job that just happened to be in both places. But eventually I got tired of spending my weekends on airplanes and all the traveling back and forth eventually wore me out. But then my job changed so I started to spend the majority of my time in Sweden (with lots of travel to other places for work of course).

And the longer I stayed in the cold dark cozy city of Stockholm, the more I really started to love it! My girl group expanded from 3 friends to around 10 close friends plus at least 10 other friends who I would regularly go out with. The girls and I partied in Gotland every summer for Stockholm's veckan. We got together on most weekends and often during the week. We went to Latvia together for my 30th birthday. They became great friends to me that I know I will have for life. I got over the fact that eating out at restaurants was not that much fun (and way too expensive) and started to love having people over for dinner or a pre-party or going to another friend's house. I even got into the Eurovision song contest and from time to time would find myself dancing to schlager music without totally hating it. I started to prefer Euro Dance music to hip hop and even learned to dance properly to it. I had a great very central apartment in the city where I hosted lots of epic parties (much to the dismay of my neighbors). I learned to embrace the darkness and light lots of candles to make your home cozy and warm during the winter. I partied at the nightclubs Cafe Opera and Berns. I participated in the fun Friday "after work" culture (in the US I think we call it Happy Hour). I totally loved traditional Swedish foods like herring, salmon, toast skagen, Calle's caviar, pepparkaka. I always felt welcomed home when arriving at Arlanda airport and breathing in the wonderful scent of kanelbulle. I celebrated the long summer days by staying out all night long. I learned to appreciate the cold Baltic sea after a long hot sauna (even in the winter). I never ceased being amused by the Swedish dinner drinking and singing culture, but I learned to sing along to the popular snaps songs. My favorite holiday is now Midsommer (I would trade Thanksgiving for it any old day).

But because I had moved to Stockholm at the whim of The Company and not at my own whim... And because when I moved to Stockholm, I really wanted to live in Boston. And because I had been living abroad for a long time and was a bit curious about what life in the US would be like... Moving back to the US absolutely remained an open question in my mind and therefore I never felt completely settled in Stockholm. I always felt that I was "about to leave". But it never seemed like the right time. I sometimes felt that I was waiting for some kind of clear sign that it was time to go home. But it never came. I would go home and visit (with the increasing sense over the years that I fit into American life less and less) but I was always very glad to return to Stockholm. After awhile, I even stopped being homesick for the US. Without even realizing it, Sweden had become my home.
 
And then I turned 30 and I started to panic a little bit about my life. 30 is kind of a benchmark isn't it? I mean you start looking back at your life and wondering if it measures up. If you are where you are supposed to be and doing what you are supposed to be doing. Was this international life in Stockholm the life for me? Would it be better if I moved back to the US? Would my career be better? Would I earn more money? Would I be happier? Would I have found the "man of my dreams?" Should I move back and find out? Or do I want to stay in Stockholm forever? And is that even a possibility?

And while up to that point, my international life had been super fabulous and I had no regrets, I realized that maybe there were other things I wanted to do too. And although I always saw myself as an International person, I suppose that I also saw myself as a person who might one day get married and have children. And I sort of began to realize that my exciting international lifestyle wasn't really conducive to a "family life" and if that was something I wanted, I might need to make some changes.

Eventually I managed to calm those thoughts and started to lean toward staying in Stockholm on a more permanent basis. I began to realize that I had a pretty great life right where I was: I was dating the Beautiful Swede, I had a great job, I had great friends...

And of course it was at just this time that The Company announced that we were moving to London.
 
There was no other choice - the announcement coincided with the worst job market in recent history. It was London or bust.
 
So, one year ago, I moved to London.**

And although it wasn't exactly what I wanted to do, I tried to take on London and see it as my next new challenge. I oft a fabulous apartment in the fantastic neighborhood of Chelsea. I drank pints at the pub after work on Fridays. I ran a lot in  Battersea Park. I embraced the London clubbing nightlife. I hosted a pub crawl. I went to trendy restaurants. I saw musicals. I loved shopping at Harrod's. I jogged along the Thames. I paid my council tax. I marveled at the amazing cars lining the Chelsea streets. I ate fish and chips. I became addicted to Byron Burgers. I went partied on drunken boat trips on the Thames. I tried to date British men. I started to use British words more than the American ones (it was just easier). I went out to the countryside. I watched a Cricket game. I had Sunday roast at the pub. I drank buck's fizz. I ate full English breakfasts. I got well acquainted with Heathrow...
 
But I confess that I have not been very happy this year. Not in my job and not in my personal life. And although I have done many great and interesting things this year, my overwhelming feeling is that I spent too much time working too hard and getting too little out of it, too much time feeling homesick for Sweden (and missing the Beautiful Swede) and feeling lonely without my large group of friends, and too much time feeling that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time (a feeling I had never experienced so intensely before). So, I decided it was time for a change.

This is the final installment of "The Making of An International Woman of Mystery." Thanks for reading my wordy story. Please stay tuned for "The Next Chapter" where I reveal to you what's happening next in my life. Big changes are once again on the horizon for this International Woman.

*I have to say that this was not my experience in the least. I found Swedes to be warm and open and welcoming. But my foreign acquaintances had a different story. But again, I had that initial friend group that really helped me settle in. I will say one thing about Swedes though, once you break down the initial barriers and get to know them, they will be your friends for life.

**My blog begins in February although I briefly look back to December and January so this this blog actually captures most of my year in London - although not the painful few first months

The Making of an International Woman of Mystery Part II: Asia

This post is about The Making of an International Woman of Mystery.

Making an International Woman of Mystery is not an easy job. And it's a long process. Therefore, this is a long story. To read Part I: The Early years, click here.

Despite my tough experience in Costa Rica, when it came time to find a job, I couldn't get the international thing out of my head. I wanted to work for an international company. Despite my small town upbringing and my unhealthy attachement to my parents and the fact that I had hardly traveled anywhere, I had always kind of imagined myself as an International Business Woman.

My first job was with PricewaterhouseCoopers in Boston as an Executive Assistant which was crazy boring (I just wasn't cut out for being a glorified secretary). While working for PWC, I did what I should have done the first time around and had a look at which companies others graduates in my major were working for. And that is how I found The Company - the one that I still work for today.

The Company seemed international to the extreme. But to be honest, I was just hoping to get to work in an  in an international environment, maybe get to use my Spanish skills, and perhaps get to go on a cool business trip. I had no idea what I was getting myself into!

First of all, I will state for the record that I initially hated The Company. They made me work very long hours and they did not pay me very much (I should have ran far far away then).* They also challenged me to the extreme. I was hired to work as a customer service representative for our Spanish markets and before I knew it I was managing massive projects, writing technical specs and designing online systems (none of which my awesome Spanish/International Affair major in anyway qualified me to do, but The Company likes you to learn on the job).

Meanwhile, this was right around the time of September 11th and The Company was hit hard by the recession. There was lots of tension and insecurity in the office especially when they laid off a lot of people in the other products. I decided it was time to leave and become a Spanish Teacher -something I'd been thinking about for awhile. I was dating a boy from my hometown and I thought that fate was calling. It was time to accept my destiny and move back home to my small town, marry the small town boy and become a Spanish teacher at the high school I went to. Just maybe the whisperers were right. I was meant to be a small town girl.

I went as far as applying for Grad School and taking the Mass State Teacher Exams (which I passed with amazingly high marks -proud moment). But on the day I walked into my office to quit my job, my boss - the one I hated and the one I was sure hated me. The one who tore apart my projects, criticized everything I did and told me to only enter his office if I was in possession of a flow chart or spreadsheet as these were the only things that mattered to him (for a language major, this was rather difficult).** That very same boss told me that I should not quit. That I should wait for a forthcoming big "announcement" and that I should come speak with him after that.

Well... the announcement came and it was shocking: The section of The Company that I worked for was moving to China. And we were all losing our jobs in Boston but welcome to work in Shanghai (for a considerable pay cut). So, I walked into my boss' office and never one to mince words, I told him bluntly "I'm not moving to China. I'm never moving to China. Do not ask me to move to China. I'm going to move back home to my parent's town, probably marry my boyfriend and become a Spanish Teacher." Take that.

And what did the guy do? Well, he laughed at me! He said that it was great that I had my whole life figured out, but he reminded me that I was only 23 and that just maybe there was an alternative life for me that would be better than the one I was thinking about. He said something along the lines of not letting the small town boy hold me back (the nerve this guy had)! That there was a big world out there that I could learn from. And no, he did not want me to move to China actually. In fact, he wanted me to move to Bali, Indonesia and help with a project there that actually involved teaching.

He sold it to me to me like - well, if you want to teach, you can teach in Bali. And if you still want to teach after that, well you can still continue with your plan. And then he said something that I will always remember: "You will be a great teacher if that's what you want to do. But, I have a feeling that you will be even more great at doing something else."***

WTF? I could have easily turned down China and never looked back. Asia in general was not on my map of places I wanted to go and China was not at all on my radar. Well, neither was Bali, but Bali is a different story! Bali is supposed to be paradise on earth. A beautiful place. A dream world. The only problem was.... Bali is also on the OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD.****

My initial reaction was "no f'ing way." But my boss would not take my initial gut reaction "no" as an answer. He told me to go home and seriously consider the offer. He advised me to talk to my parents (although possibly not to my boyfriend).

And think about it I did. A LOT. And I talked about it with others A LOT. And I surprisingly ffound that their general consensus was that this was an amazing opportunity and I should really consider accepting (even my parents grudgingly admitted it might be a good idea). And although I was still reeling from the sudden proposal and not feeling at all ready to change my plans of marriage and becoming a school teacher, slowly but surely that little voice in the back of my head became louder and louder until I could just not ignore it anymore.

That little voice was telling me: "You are not meant to be in a small town (at least not right now). And that boy you think you are "in love" with - ha ha ha.... that will end in divorce in a few years if you even make it to the alter. Do not give up your dreams for him. He is not worth it. You always wanted to become an International Woman of Mystery. This is your chance! This is a clear sign. This is your destiny. It's all there just waiting for you. Just accept the offer. You only regret the things you didn't do. And BALI is paradise. Who can say no to Bali? You are 23 years old and this is the time of your life to do such things. Just do it!

That damn voice could not be ignored, so I decided to follow that voice to just about as far away in the world as you could get from the East Coast of the US. I jumped on a plane for the third time in my life and flew to the eastern southern hemisphere!

And I lived in Bali for 8 months. Of course, my small town boyfriend promptly broke up with me (the first of many boyfriends to ditch me because of my globetrotting). But I met a hot tall German boy who drove me around Indonesia on his motorbike. I worked some as a teacher. I partied a lot. I danced at nightclubs often. I ate great Indonesian food like Gado Gado and Mei Goreng. I ran on the beach every morning at sunrise. I lived on $500 dollars a month (well, not entirely true - my parents kind of paid my credit card bills - love you Mom and Dad), I met great people. I lived with wonderful women who I still keep in touch with. I was fascinated by the beautiful Balinese Hindu culture. I lived a simple life with no air conditioning (it's hot in Bali), no hot water (but not hot enough that you don't miss hot water), no mobile phone, no television. I traveled throughout Bali and to some other lovely islands nearby. I saw the most amazing sunsets of my life. I ate delicious seafood at Jimbaran on small candlelit tables as the sun set and the surf slowly edged its way up the shore and lapped at our feet. I learned to surf. I read lots of books. I got very tan. I did a lot of nothing. I took long naps during the day. I worked at night. I learned a lot from the Germany boy who taught me to live in the moment and not worry so much about the past and future. I learned a lot about the rest of the world through the other international people I met. I loved my simple Bali life...

But I realized that even paradise is not sustainable forever. And while I didn't love the long hours The Company put me through in Boston, the kind of teaching I was doing in Bali wasn't stimulating me enough intellectually (damn my boss for being right). I decided it was time for a change, so I said goodbye to beautiful Bali and headed back to the US.

Luckily, it seems that I left just in time. Sady, just two weeks after I returned to the US, terrorists blew up the nightclubs in Bali. The very same nightclubs that I partied and danced at most nights. It was surreal. This scared me and my family. And once again, I decided that maybe it was best to stick closer to home.

And stick closer to home I did - much to the dismay of my parents. I had now given up on my dreams of becoming a teacher and I was wallowing around my parent's house in the woods unemployed, directionless and only half-heartily trying to figure out what to do next with my life. To be honest, I kind of missed The Company. And after a couple months, my Mother issued me an ultimatum: Get a job or we are kicking you out. She was unimpressed with my unemployed lazy self and she knew me well enough to know that I was just milking unemployment and not even searching for a new job.

Ironically, on that very same day, The Boss called me out of the blue. When I left Bali, he tried to recruit me to move to Shanghai, China - an offer I kindly declined as truth be told, I was homesick and wanted to go home to my parents. But after living with my parents for a couple months, the China offer was starting to look pretty darn attractive. So, what the hell? In a moment of insanity I accepted. To this day, I swear the driving force in me accepting that offer was so that I could call my Mother at work and have the satisfaction of this conversation:

Me: So Mom, I got a job today!

Mom: (Sounding happy). Oh really! Good for you? How did that happen? Tell me about it.

Me: Well, I'm moving to China with The Company in 2 weeks.

Silence

Mom: You are joking right?

Me: I'm dead serious. You told me to get a job and get out of the house. I would say that China is getting out of the house.

Mom: Oh honey... that's not what I meant (sounding sad).

So, two weeks later, off to China I went. And it is with this move that the International Woman of Mystery matured beyond a concept and became a reality. It is with this move that the International Woman of Mystery was born.

I have to admit that despite Bali being amazing in many ways, I was still desperately homesick the entire time. I missed my parents and my ex-boyfriend and my friends. But in Shanghai, The Company kept me way too busy to even think about being homesick. I worked ALL THE TIME. And I loved it! I felt that I had so much to contribute. I was satisfied in my job. I loved going to work every day (I practically lived at the office).

But it was not all work. Oh no! There was a lot of play as well (ah to be young again and not need to sleep). Despite arriving in the middle of the SARS crises***** (oh how my parents hated this one and begged me to return home immediately), I truly believe there was no better place for a 24 year old to live but in Shanghai, China. What a vibrant ever-changing city. There is no place like it on earth. And unfortunately, while to this day Shanghai is still an amazing and vibrant city (and I totally recommend that you all get yourselves on a plane to go there ASAP), it is now nothing like it was in 2003 when I first lived there. Back then, there were no big nightclubs. It was the bars on mao ming lu or bust. And there were very few western restaurants and almost no western style services (like the nice spas you see today). It was all brilliantly uncivilized and very very raw. There were no rules and therefore there were no consequences. It truly felt like we could do anything we wanted (and we sure pushed it to the limits).  Every day was an adventure and the crazy city of Shanghai was our playground.

I had a blast in China. I met great people like M and T. I dated the Scottish boy. I learned how to speak enough Chinese to communicate with taxi drivers, order food in restaurants and make myself understood when necessary. I learned how to use chopsticks (remember I was a small town girl and I had never ever used chopsticks until the day I arrived). I drank bi jiao (a terrible Chinese rice wine - try it sometime and you will see what I mean). I developed a love of sushi (yes, I know this is Japanese but for some reason I never ate it until I arrived in China and then I swear I ate it every day). I worked hard and developed a good reputation in the office. I survived SARS. We tore up Mao Ming Lu. I partied all night and went to work still drunk.  I marveled at Chinese culture and their sometimes crazy logic. I learned to pee in squat toilets (something I struggled with in Bali). I ran several 5K races and did the Shanghai half marathon. I had a crazy time in China. I kind of grew up in China. In China, I definitely became a more mature, confident and independent international woman of mystery.

Shanghai is a city that is awesome and terrible all at once. It's a city that you both love and hate. It's a city that's so vibrant and alive full of sounds and smells and lots and lots of people! It's like sensory overload all the time. And it's lovely in it's own crazy way, yet lonely in its vastness, and irritating in its overcrowded, polluted, hyperactivity and lack of logic.

But China is not always an easy place to live (especially then). And as with any love hate relationship, at  some point, the hate won out over the love (this was mainly motivated by an injury sustained on a business trip to India - another story in itself - that I was not able to get proper treatment for in China) and I decided I was ready to move back to the US.

Luckily The Company was nice enough to offer me a job back in Boston which I readily accepted and was truly excited and ready to move back home...

Stay Tuned for final installment of The Making of an International Woman of Mystery Part III: Europe

*Just kidding. I obviously love my job and my company - I've worked for The Company for almost 10 years - but the hours and the pay thing never really have been resolved nor will they ever be although I'm kinda over it

**This boss became a great mentor to me and I now make my staff present me with data rather than feelings. He also said "Don't ask me questions, rather tell me the solution and if I don't agree I will let you know" - very good advice for managing junior staff.

***Note: I have nothing against teachers and still do not rule out becoming one myself one day. But I'm so glad that he gave me this piece of advice because he was so right.

****I'm not going to lie. I had no idea where Bali was. It could have been in the Caribbean for all I knew. So, I did whatever you did in 2001 instead of Google something (as oddly Google didn't exist -seems like one of those things that's always been around doesn't it)? But my research which I'm pretty sure even involved going to a bookstore and looking at travel books, told me that Bali was a pretty amazing place by all accounts.

*****The week I arrived, SARS hit the news. It was crazy. Everyone was wearing masks. Your temperature was taken about 10 times a day whether entering your work building, a restaurant or a nightclub. If someone sneezed or coughed, everyone would panic. The Chinese government went crazy with signs telling people to wash their hands and stop spitting. I was highly amused and not threatened by the whole thing and didn't feel threatened by SARS at all.. My family on the other hand was not so amused - especially after the close call in Bali. They didn't quite believe me when I told them I was totally safe as I had been telling that the whole time in Bali as well.

The Making of an International Woman of Mystery Part I: The Early Years

I'm going to now tell you a story. It's the story of how I became an International Woman of Mystery. I was not as you might think, born an International Woman of Mystery. Oh no... far from it. The making of myself into an International Woman of Mystery has taken a long time.

But the reason I'm going to tell you this story is because I need to tell you another story. The story that I've been alluding to for the past couple months - the big story about the big changes that are happening this fall. But to really understand or appreciate the next chapter, you need to understand this chapter first.

This is a long story... So, sit back, relax, grab a glass of wine. And to make it easier for you, I'm dividing this story into sections. So, please come back and hear the end. Because once I've told this story, I'm going to tell you the next story and here I'm going to need your support.

You see I was born a small town girl . And when I say small town I mean population of aprox 4,000 people. Cows walk across the road and on some days you are more likely to see a tractor driving down the street than a car. My parents live in a house on a hill deep in the woods. You can not see the neighbors from this house. You cannot see the road from this house. This house is essentially in the middle of nowhere. My graduating class in high school was 110 students from FIVE small towns. Yes, we are talking about some serious hickville here. My town is not known for its diversity. It is 98.29 percent white - thank you Wikipedia.

I was the typical American girl. The blond, blue-eyed girl next door type of girl. And as typical American girls often do, I had an awkward phase of glasses and braces (which I credit for forcing me to develop my personality rather than getting by with my looks). But as soon as the braces came off and contact lenses replaced the thick glasses I had worn since I was 5 (it was a very long awkward phase lasting from about 5 years old until 14 ), I found that I had somehow managed to become one of the "popular" girls at school - which is maybe not saying much as I've already mentioned my school was very small. But when I was younger, I certainly was not an International Woman of Mystery. I was more the Girl Next Door.

In the All-American girl next door type of way, I was fairly smart and got good grades. I was Captain of the Cheerleading squad. I played sports. I had lots of friends. Boys seemed to like me - and I was asked to the prom by 5 different boys my senior year including the boy who became Prom King (I didn't go with him).* People told me I was pretty and cute.  I was a good girl. I loved my parents. I pretended to hate my younger brother but secretly didn't. I liked to go to parties, but never got drunk. I liked to go out with boys but I never let them kiss me. I kept busy with lots of school activities. I liked to be the leader. I was always on the go. But over all... I was pretty average.

I was the kind of girl who should have gotten married to the "boy next door" who was the captain of the football team (although our school didn't have a football team, but you know what I mean). I was the kind of girl who should have married my high school or at the very least my college sweetheart and built a home down the street from my parents and started pushing out babies in my early twenties. I was the kind of girl who was born in a small town and should have stayed in a small town and had a small town life and produced kids who stayed in the small town and had a small town life. In high school I heard the whispers "She'll never get out of this town." Or "High school will be the highlight of her life. It's all downhill from there."

But there was one problem. I didn't buy into the whispers and rumors. I had other plans. I didn't want to be a small town girl with a small town life. I was going somewhere. And thus the concept of the International Woman of Mystery took root somewhere deep in the dark recces of my mind.

But other than my small town background, there was another obstacle in my way of becoming an International Woman of Mystery. Growing up, I had a worrisomely unhealthy attachment to my Mother. From the day I was born (as she tells it), I literally did not like her to leave my sight. The first time she dropped me off at nursery school, I cried so much that the teacher had to send me home - I vividly remember this - her coming back to pick me up in that tan van she used to drive (a soccer mom before there were soccer moms - this was circa 1981) - needless to say she was not happy to see me. And the next day I smartened up and stayed at school knowing that my Mother would most likely be more happy to see me after school when I was supposed to come home rather than having to pick me up at school early due to my separation anxiety.**

The first time I slept over night at a friend's house, I cried and had to go home in the middle of night. Even spending nights at my grandparents (who I loved dearly) was difficult because I missed my Mother so much. As I got older, I never really got over it. I rarely slept at friend's houses. I didn't take trips with friends or with school. I liked being home with my parents in my safe small house in the woods. Even to this day I think about my Mom a lot. I talk to her in my head. And when I'm sick or hurt or sad, my first thought is of my Mother. Luckily, these days I can easily find her on BlackBerry Messenger when I need her.

The first significant separation I had from my parents was when I went away to college (a whole 3 hours drive from home). Seriously, before that I do not think I had ever been away from them for more than 3 nights unless I was at my grandparent's house (and I never spent more than a few nights there either). I was totally homesick the entire first semester at college despite talking to my Mom on a daily basis. I even went as far to obtain a transfer application to switch Universities to be closer to home. Luckily, I never went so far as to make the transfer. I finally did manage to settle into college life - and loved it!

What can I say? I was a Mama's girl. A homebody. A person who doesn't like change or routine. A "sensitive kid" as my Mother would say. I'm pretty sure that since that first day she had to pick my little crying self up at Nursery School, she was very worried that she would never get rid of clingy, needy daughter. She was not ever in favor of me staying in that small town. She had bigger dreams for my brother and I and also her dreams for herself and my father obviously did not include my brother and I living down the street from her and dropping off the grand kids for babysitting. Oh no. She made it very clear that she was not that kind of Mother and we were not that kind of family. On the other hand, she never exactly advocated for me to go to the other side of the world to get away from her either (but I'm getting ahead of myself here).

At the same time as being an All American Small Town Mama's Girl, I manage to somehow develop a strong curiosity about other cultures. I was 4 years old the first day I heard someone speaking Spanish. I remember exactly where I was standing at the long closed Cederhearst puddle that pretended to be a lake where the small town moms would bring their small town kids to cool down in the hot summer and socialize with other moms. I remember hearing this young puerto rican girl speaking Spanish. I was in awe! I found it fascinating that other people talked and possibly thought in a different way. I immediately asked her to be my friend and forced her to spend time telling me all the Spanish names for everything around us (poor girl). I was hooked! I knew from that day on that I would one day learn Spanish!

The other main influence in the making of the International Woman of Mystery was my grandparents on my father's side. They had traveled all over the world and hosted various foreign exchange students. Their beautiful home on the North Shore was full of wonderful treasures from all over the world. I loved visiting my grandparents and touching and unfortunately sometimes breaking (much to their dismay) all of the treasures collected from their travels. I loved the small box full of money from other countries and couldn't believe that there were places in the world where the dollar was not used. I begged them to tell me me stories of their travels. I wanted to travel like they did. I wanted to see the world.

But there was one major problem with wanting to travel the world: I was a kid who had parents who were NOT interested at all in traveling.  Actually, more specifically, the problem was my Mother who more or less called the shots in our family (sorry Dad). My father probably would have liked to travel more. He had lived in Scotland during college and traveled through Europe. My Mother on the other hand, was a self proclaimed homebody. She didn't like to leave the family pets or venture far from home. Our vacations usually consisted of going to the beach on the North Shore of Massachusetts or visiting our grandparents.

So, because I was so attached to my Mother and because my Mother would never leave the US (her first time abroad was two years ago when she finally came to visit me in Stockholm), I was pretty much stuck in my small town (seriously, I really didn't even travel outside of New England) until I was old enough to make decisions on my own.

The first time I went on an airplane, I was 18. I went to Disney World with my high school Senior Class on a field trip. The first time I left the country, I was 20 and I was fulfilling my long term dream of studying abroad. It was with this journey that the International Woman of Mystery was launched.

In college I majored in Spanish and International Affairs (note the title of this blog). I mean what else would an International Woman of Mystery major in?

As part of my graduation requirement, I had to live abroad for at least a semester. And for some reason, I had my heart set on Latin America. Costa Rica became my final destination. I had been preparing myself for this day for ages! Ever since I met the little girl at the lake, I had always wanted to live abroad and speak Spanish. I wished I could have studied abroad in high school, but I knew that there was no way that I was mature enough to handle it (I could not have managed the separation from my Mom). But at the ripe old age of 20 years old, I felt that I was absolutely ready for my first international adventure.

Oh man! Nothing could have prepared me for my experience in Costa Rica. It's a story within itself so I won't go into details. But I will just say that it was way tougher than I thought to be a blond haired blue eyed all American girl living in the middle of San Jose, Costa Rica trying to "immerse" myself in the culture and the University life there. However, despite the difficulties I encountered, I do not regret the experience in any way. In fact, it made me tougher and opened my eyes to the world.

But, is it was a hard experience that left me a bit scarred. I started to have second thoughts about becoming an International Woman of Mystery. Maybe I wasn't up for it. Maybe I wasn't as tough as I thought. Maybe I wasn't really International Woman of Mystery material! I put the thought aside for the most part and focused on partying my sway through my Senior year of college and graduating magna cum laude.

Stay tuned for The Making of an International Woman of Mystery Part II: Asia

*I was not Prom Queen (the waiters and waitresses chose the Prom King and Queen and Court based on appearance so it was not a popularity contest) but I was on the Prom Court.

** I'm glossing over the gory details here. But let's just say that this little "disorder" causes major problems throughout my childhood and definitely affected my relationship with my parents (yes, it's probably the main reason that I felt the need to run away to the other side of the world as if to prove a point that I could do it).

I heart Stockholm

So, last week I got the pleasure of spending some time in my favorite city: Stockholm*. Seriously, I heart Stockholm. In fact, my heart hurts when I visit because I miss living there so much. And I would move back in a heartbeat (ok - I've now said heart three times - I think I will stop now as I'm annoying myself)... but unfortunately, this is not possible right now. This makes me very very sad (but more on this later).

The trip was a little bit about work and more about fun - just the way it should be!

I arrived early evening on Wednesday and I had just enough time to run into H&M and do some serious damage to my poor bank account.

You might be wondering, why would I go shopping in Sweden when I live in the best shopping city in the world? I was wondering the same myself... But the sad truth is that I have become very Swedish (at least that's what I'm told). When I first moved to Sweden I couldn't understand why H&M was on every single corner. I also hated the fact that there was not a larger "selection" of clothes or shops. I found the shopping boring it irritated me that everyone wore the same thing.

So, now I live in London where there is a whole big bad city out there with tons of things to spend your hard earned money on, and you know what? I prefer shopping in Stockholm. Go figure. But, it's easy to shop in Stockholm. Stockholm stores are limited, but they have all the things I want. There is no searching through racks trying to figure out the latest trends. In Stockholm, it's all there in front of you. And yes, the population and the dress code is pretty homongenous but Swedes are extremely fashionable as well as attractive and I swear it feels like you are in a photoshoot everywhere you go.

A non-Swedish friend of mine described it as like "being in the twilight zone. It's just too perfect to be true. But the scary part is, it is really that perfect." Well said my friend. He didn't particularly like living in Sweden (he only lived there for one year). After 5 years living there, I have learned to love it. Actually, I think it took leaving Sweden to give me some perspective make me realize just how perfect Sweden really is - and just how Swedish I had managed to become!

Oh Stockholm... oh how I'm going to miss you.

After my impromptu shopping trip, I met an old colleague/friend for a glass of wine at Anglais and then we moved on to Vapiano for fabulous pizza and more glasses of wine and lots of catching up. It was a lovely evening... which I immensely regretted (at least that 4th glass of wine) the next day when I woke up with a headache.

Of course being the crazy person that I am, I decided that I would not let a little wine headache get between me and a lovely morning for running (seriously it was a gorgeous day). So, I ignored the pounding in my head and threw on my running shoes and went out to pound the pavement for an hour run in my most favorite park Hagerparken - where I used to run every day when I lived in Stockholm. Let me just say that this obviously did not help my headache which proceeded to haunt me all day until - well... until I started drinking again!

After work my fabulous Stockholm team brought me for drinks and dinner to celebrate the fact that I'm leaving my current job for a new one. They surprised me by bringing me to Wallmans Salonger where we saw a dinner show made up of songs written by Bjorn Ulvaeu and Benny Andersson (most famous for being part of ABBA but also for composing 3 musicals the most famous of which is Mama Mia).

Those Swedes sure do love their ABBA. I have to say that after all the time I spent in Sweden, ABBA has grown on me, but I still find that I do not know most of the songs and certainly cannot sing all the lyrics like most Swedes can. Anyway, the show was a lot of fun and it was a great night!

Friday started with another wine headache but this time I decided to skip the run. Another great day at the office and then back to Diplomat for more drinks with colleagues. We then headed to Anglais for more drinks. What else?

And GUESS WHO I SAW at Anglais? You got it. The Beautiful Swede was there!! The thing is that he had been on my mind since landing at the airport. Last week after writing about him, I had a very vivid dream about him where he met me at the airport and tried to force me to talk to him. I had this strong feeling that I would inevitably see him in Stockholm - it's a small city and you spend your life there bumping into people. So, I unfortunately found myself looking for him everywhere. Searching the faces of any tall handsome men (believe me there are a lot of those) to make sure it's not him.

I promise, I did not WANT to see him or interact with him, but I could not help looking for him. As if by searching for him, I could be sure to avoid him.

Anyway, many people came out to meet me at Anglais (I have great friends) and we were standing by the main door (and I was keeping half an eye on the door kind of waiting for him to walk in - I even commented  to my friends that I was nervous about bumping into him) when suddenly one of my friends suggested that we move over to a different part of the bar (it's a big bar). I thought it was a bit of a strange suggestion but didn't dwell on it. And by that time I'd had enough wine that I swear I'd finally stopped thinking about him. About 45 minutes after we moved, out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a tall beautiful guy with a familiar face walking fast headed toward the second exit caught my eye. It was him!!! The Beautiful Swede!

AHHHHHHHHH! My heart stopped beating and launched itself into my throat. I felt nauseous. I forgot how to breathe for a second and my legs started to shake! Panic! What do I do?

So, what did I do? I did what any girl in my position would do. I ducked down and covered my head with my hands protectively and hid in the group of girls who instinctively surrounded me and I closed my eyes - as if I closed my eyes then he wouldn't see me either! When I finally dared to stand up again and started to breathe, I realized that he had just headed to the exit and it seems that he did not see me. I had a friend check that he was really gone (he was). And I eventually regained my cool and went on with the night. I wasn't going to let a little ex-boyfriend siting ruin a night with my friends. However, I still can't believe that he was there and even more unbelievable is the fact that we managed to avoid an interaction! Amazing.

My friends admitted that they had seen him earlier and that was why they suggested we move away from that side of the bar. They didn't want to tell me he was there because they didn't want me to either decide to leave or decide to speak with him (I think I would have left) so they hoped that we would not bump into each other.

With that tragedy narrowly adverted, we continued on to Undici for a night of dancing to bad Schlager music and getting hit on by old Swedish men (there was some kind of private golf party going on so the place was packed with uninteresting old men and minor Swedish celebrities).

After a rather late Friday night, Saturday morning's 10 am meeting for the kick off of our friend J's hen party came way to soon! But I'm happy to say that I successfully made it there on time and without even a headache to show for my late night the night before!

In traditional Swedish fashion, my friend had been "kidnapped" at her house that morning by her two bridesmaids and then brought to meet us. I like the way the Swedes approach hen parties (and bachelor parties are apparently even more crazy) - it's always a surprise, it's always well planned and thought out, and it's always a full day and evening event with lots of activities designed to make your friend who's getting married feel special.

The rest of the day consisted of pony racing (which involved driving a cart pulled by a pony - see picture below) and belly dancing followed by a dinner at F's house and then off to the nightclub Berns for some clubbing.

My friend who is getting married had various tasks to do during the night. One of these tasks included finding and taking a picture of a Swedish celebrity. This is not hard to do in Stockholm, if you glance around almost any club you can always find some kind of B list Swedish celebrity.

The celebrity she found was named Torre Kulgren (see picture to the left)** - famous for being a "Geek" who tried to play football (and yes, I mean soccer) on a Swedish reality TV show. I have not seen the show but it was explained to me that he apparently became the star of the show because he was just so socially awkward and therefore hilarious.

For some reason, I started talking to Torre later in the night - I think this was in part due to my new BFF C who I had met at the hen party and was having an awful lot of fun with that evening. Anyway, Torre took a liking to me and tagged along with us for the rest of the evening. As my new friend C put it, "well you found yourself a pet." And I know that it's kind of mean to say that (I'm not really a mean girl), but that's the best way I could describe him.

Unfortunately, my new "pet" made it difficult to talk to other men. But that was ok I guess - it doesn't have to be about meeting hot boys all the time. Besides, I found Torre completely amusing (and nice) and he kept flattering me by telling me how cute I was. But, I have seriously never met such a socially awkward person! I wish I had been able to remember some of the really funny things that he said when he was not even trying to be funny (but alas the wine did me no help here). And you should have seen the world's most awkward hug goodbye he gave me at 4:30 in the morning when we finally left the club (yeah - I killed it this weekend with late nights every night). Leave it to me to find the most dorky man in Sweden to hang out with for the night!

All in all, it was a great trip to Stockholm. It always is. Although I didn't meet any hot boys or kiss any Swedish boys in the rain... I got to spend a lot of time with good friends. I'm going back to Sweden for the wedding in just 2 weeks. I can't wait!

*For anyone who has just started following my blog, I lived in Stockholm for 5 years until a year ago when my company moved me to London (a move I didn't want to make).

**As you may have noticed, I never use names or put pictures of people in my blog but as he's a minor Swedish celebrity, I have decided it's ok.

Adventures in South Africa

I know that you have all been anxiously waiting to hear about last week’s trip to South Africa.

Let me start by saying it was AWESOME! OMG. I want to go back ASAP. If anyone is even considering going there, I say DO IT!

I should also mention that I was there for work and it was a very quick trip. But even so, we managed to fit in a Safari and that was absolutely a top ten life experience! I can’t wait to go back.

Can you believe I ate these?

After a crazy long weekend in Sweden with the girls, I got back to London late Sunday night and then my colleague and I flew out of London on Monday evening, landed in Johannesburg on Tuesday morning and worked Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from the office. Needless to say that after a long weekend of partying and my small problem of not being able to sleep on airplanes, I was VERY tired by the time I arrived. So tired in fact, that one night, our South African host managed to convince me to eat worms! For real. Check it out. I ate one of these. It didn’t taste like anything really besides the sauce it was in. But it was very crunchy. I swear that if I didn’t see or know what I was eating, I would still have known that I was eating a worm.
Overall, despite being tired, we had a very productive time at the office that culminated in a team training and a team bowling activity followed by a fantastic dinner where we got our faces painted with African face paint and listened as the waiters and waitresses formed an amazing drum circle! Totally cool.

On Friday morning, we had a working breakfast on Friday and then drove up to Pilanesburg Game Reserve where we arrived just in time for lunch at the fabulous Ivory Tree Lodge. If you are going to Joburg and don’t have time to get up to Kruger (the really big game park) then I totally recommend Pilanesburg (just a two hour drive from Joburg) and if you are willing to spend a bit of extra cash, then I absolutelyy recommend that you stay at the Ivory Tree Lodge.* It’s a five star hotel and the service was fantastic and the huts we stayed in were so cute -luxurious but simple with a huge bathtub and an outside shower. So great to shower under the African stars. And would be an oh-so-romantic getaway to share with that special someone. I did not have a romantic someone to share it with. BUT there were lots of hot Rangers. If I had just had a bit more time to work it...

Yum! A dead Elephant!

After lunch we climbed into our jeep for our first Game Ride (aka Safari) that started at 5pm and ended at 9 so we had a chance to look for animals in both the daylight and night. Before starting the ride, the ranger reminded us that this was not a zoo so she could not guarantee that we would see what we wanted to see. But I was determined that we had to see some lions. And boy did we see some lions!!! In fact, we saw 7 lions from 2 different pride - which is considered quite a good feat for a game ride. The first 3 lions were eating a dead elephant -see picture to the right. The elephant had been dead for 7 week and they were still eating the meat! Gross! Apparently the elephant had died of cholic.  

We saw lots of other animals as well (see pictures below) but suddenly the ranger started driving really fast. She said now we are going on a “Ferrari Safari” (ha ha - how cute is that)... Anyway, apparently the other rangers had spotted the lions from the other pride. So, we raced over and there were 4 lions sitting right in the middle of the road just in front of us! And then, the most amazing thing happened! They walked right by us!!! I could have touched them. It is so cool (and so scary) to look a lion right in the eye who is standing 1 foot away from you. Wow! The safari completely exceeded my expectations.

This Lion walked right past me

After the game ride, we had dinner, did some more work by the fire (it’s winter there) and then slept a few hours before a 5:30 am wake up call from the ranger. We piled on layers of clothes. Brrr... it was chilly in the South African winter morning! And then we piled back into the jeep for a sunrise Game Ride that lasted 3 hours. We did not see as many animals in the morning ride but it was still exhilarating. It was lovely to be out in the fresh morning South African air - even if I couldn’t feel my toes for the entire ride.

After the game ride we had a huge breakfast and then took Quad Bikes (also known as Four Wheelers) through an African village. I had never driven one of those before. But after a few mishaps in the beginning, I got over the feeling that I was going to die and got the hang of it quickly.

After the Quad Bike adventure, we headed to the spa and got a very relaxing massage before driving back to Joburg and catching the Saturday night flight back to London. Whew. What a whirlwind trip! We certainly packed as much into the trip as we could. But it was so worth it!

At this point, I have to mention that the main reason that this busy trip was so fabulous was due to our awesome hosts B and W. B is someone who I have worked with for years and we became close back when we worked together in Shanghai back in the day. But it’s been years since we properly caught up. B and W welcomed us in style and were the best hosts ever. B patiently explained about South Africa’s history and culture and answered our endless questions and she was fabulous at spotting animals and birds and telling us their names. We were much impressed with her bush skills. Thank you B for such an an amazing introduction to your country!

And what a history South Africa has. I mean apartheid only ended in 1994 when South Africa held their first democratic elections and Nelson Mandella became President. Other interesting facts about South Africa include that 80% of the country is of black ancestry. South Africa is ranked sixth out of the world’s seventeen mega diverse countries, with more than 20,000 different plants, or about 10% of all the known species of plants on Earth. Yet only 1% of South Africa is forest. Also, despite the fact that South Africa has the biggest economy of all the African countries and is one of the richest countries in Africa, about a quarter of the population is unemployed and lives on less than $1.25 a day. South Africa recognizes 11 different languages in its constitution, has some of the world's oldest archaeological sites and is the most populous country in the world to recognize same-sex marriage throughout the entire territory. Alright. Enough facts for you. Sorry for geeking out a bit but I found South Africa just so interesting. Thanks Wikipedia for your help.

I should also mention that the weather was amazing. A bit chilly in the mornings and evenings (ok it was down right cold on the game rides but that’s because we were driving fast in an open air jeep) but during the day it was warm and sunny. And the air was so fresh and crisp. It reminded me of New England in the fall.

So, without further ado, I will bring you on a photo Oddessy** of my South African adventure! Enjoy!

A big old Elephant

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Zebras are really beautiful

Mama and Baby Elephant

Hello Mr. Warthog

A Big Bird

Here comes the Lion!

Time for some 7 week old elephant meat!

African Sunset

Lions on the Road

Sunrise Safari

Herd of Wildebeest

Wildebeest

Look carefully at this picture and then check out the next one

Do you spot the difference? He he... he must have realized we were there and
gotten excited cuz this elephant now has a fifth leg!

Sorry I can't resist. Here's an up close picture of his "Man Glory" as the ranger called it. He he..

Mr. Giraffe

He is so cute! I can't resist posting 3 pictures of him

Rhinos

Apparently this is the most photographed bird in the world because it's so beautiful

*It’s recommended that you stay at least 2 nights and go on 4 game rides. I think that’s the perfect amount of time. If time had permitted, I would have loved to stay another night. Unfortunately, work in London was calling so we could only stay 1 night

**I took these photos with my point and shoot camera that I generally use to take party pictures. I have never had a need for a better camera although I seriously consider getting one if I go back to South Africa. So, I apologize for the less than stellar quality. They still came out ok considering... Although I kinda suck at taking pictures. Also, I struggled with getting these pictures up on blogger. So, I apologize for the big old elephant repeating twice. I couldn't manage to delete him! Very frustrating!