I heart Stockholm

So, last week I got the pleasure of spending some time in my favorite city: Stockholm*. Seriously, I heart Stockholm. In fact, my heart hurts when I visit because I miss living there so much. And I would move back in a heartbeat (ok - I've now said heart three times - I think I will stop now as I'm annoying myself)... but unfortunately, this is not possible right now. This makes me very very sad (but more on this later).

The trip was a little bit about work and more about fun - just the way it should be!

I arrived early evening on Wednesday and I had just enough time to run into H&M and do some serious damage to my poor bank account.

You might be wondering, why would I go shopping in Sweden when I live in the best shopping city in the world? I was wondering the same myself... But the sad truth is that I have become very Swedish (at least that's what I'm told). When I first moved to Sweden I couldn't understand why H&M was on every single corner. I also hated the fact that there was not a larger "selection" of clothes or shops. I found the shopping boring it irritated me that everyone wore the same thing.

So, now I live in London where there is a whole big bad city out there with tons of things to spend your hard earned money on, and you know what? I prefer shopping in Stockholm. Go figure. But, it's easy to shop in Stockholm. Stockholm stores are limited, but they have all the things I want. There is no searching through racks trying to figure out the latest trends. In Stockholm, it's all there in front of you. And yes, the population and the dress code is pretty homongenous but Swedes are extremely fashionable as well as attractive and I swear it feels like you are in a photoshoot everywhere you go.

A non-Swedish friend of mine described it as like "being in the twilight zone. It's just too perfect to be true. But the scary part is, it is really that perfect." Well said my friend. He didn't particularly like living in Sweden (he only lived there for one year). After 5 years living there, I have learned to love it. Actually, I think it took leaving Sweden to give me some perspective make me realize just how perfect Sweden really is - and just how Swedish I had managed to become!

Oh Stockholm... oh how I'm going to miss you.

After my impromptu shopping trip, I met an old colleague/friend for a glass of wine at Anglais and then we moved on to Vapiano for fabulous pizza and more glasses of wine and lots of catching up. It was a lovely evening... which I immensely regretted (at least that 4th glass of wine) the next day when I woke up with a headache.

Of course being the crazy person that I am, I decided that I would not let a little wine headache get between me and a lovely morning for running (seriously it was a gorgeous day). So, I ignored the pounding in my head and threw on my running shoes and went out to pound the pavement for an hour run in my most favorite park Hagerparken - where I used to run every day when I lived in Stockholm. Let me just say that this obviously did not help my headache which proceeded to haunt me all day until - well... until I started drinking again!

After work my fabulous Stockholm team brought me for drinks and dinner to celebrate the fact that I'm leaving my current job for a new one. They surprised me by bringing me to Wallmans Salonger where we saw a dinner show made up of songs written by Bjorn Ulvaeu and Benny Andersson (most famous for being part of ABBA but also for composing 3 musicals the most famous of which is Mama Mia).

Those Swedes sure do love their ABBA. I have to say that after all the time I spent in Sweden, ABBA has grown on me, but I still find that I do not know most of the songs and certainly cannot sing all the lyrics like most Swedes can. Anyway, the show was a lot of fun and it was a great night!

Friday started with another wine headache but this time I decided to skip the run. Another great day at the office and then back to Diplomat for more drinks with colleagues. We then headed to Anglais for more drinks. What else?

And GUESS WHO I SAW at Anglais? You got it. The Beautiful Swede was there!! The thing is that he had been on my mind since landing at the airport. Last week after writing about him, I had a very vivid dream about him where he met me at the airport and tried to force me to talk to him. I had this strong feeling that I would inevitably see him in Stockholm - it's a small city and you spend your life there bumping into people. So, I unfortunately found myself looking for him everywhere. Searching the faces of any tall handsome men (believe me there are a lot of those) to make sure it's not him.

I promise, I did not WANT to see him or interact with him, but I could not help looking for him. As if by searching for him, I could be sure to avoid him.

Anyway, many people came out to meet me at Anglais (I have great friends) and we were standing by the main door (and I was keeping half an eye on the door kind of waiting for him to walk in - I even commented  to my friends that I was nervous about bumping into him) when suddenly one of my friends suggested that we move over to a different part of the bar (it's a big bar). I thought it was a bit of a strange suggestion but didn't dwell on it. And by that time I'd had enough wine that I swear I'd finally stopped thinking about him. About 45 minutes after we moved, out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a tall beautiful guy with a familiar face walking fast headed toward the second exit caught my eye. It was him!!! The Beautiful Swede!

AHHHHHHHHH! My heart stopped beating and launched itself into my throat. I felt nauseous. I forgot how to breathe for a second and my legs started to shake! Panic! What do I do?

So, what did I do? I did what any girl in my position would do. I ducked down and covered my head with my hands protectively and hid in the group of girls who instinctively surrounded me and I closed my eyes - as if I closed my eyes then he wouldn't see me either! When I finally dared to stand up again and started to breathe, I realized that he had just headed to the exit and it seems that he did not see me. I had a friend check that he was really gone (he was). And I eventually regained my cool and went on with the night. I wasn't going to let a little ex-boyfriend siting ruin a night with my friends. However, I still can't believe that he was there and even more unbelievable is the fact that we managed to avoid an interaction! Amazing.

My friends admitted that they had seen him earlier and that was why they suggested we move away from that side of the bar. They didn't want to tell me he was there because they didn't want me to either decide to leave or decide to speak with him (I think I would have left) so they hoped that we would not bump into each other.

With that tragedy narrowly adverted, we continued on to Undici for a night of dancing to bad Schlager music and getting hit on by old Swedish men (there was some kind of private golf party going on so the place was packed with uninteresting old men and minor Swedish celebrities).

After a rather late Friday night, Saturday morning's 10 am meeting for the kick off of our friend J's hen party came way to soon! But I'm happy to say that I successfully made it there on time and without even a headache to show for my late night the night before!

In traditional Swedish fashion, my friend had been "kidnapped" at her house that morning by her two bridesmaids and then brought to meet us. I like the way the Swedes approach hen parties (and bachelor parties are apparently even more crazy) - it's always a surprise, it's always well planned and thought out, and it's always a full day and evening event with lots of activities designed to make your friend who's getting married feel special.

The rest of the day consisted of pony racing (which involved driving a cart pulled by a pony - see picture below) and belly dancing followed by a dinner at F's house and then off to the nightclub Berns for some clubbing.

My friend who is getting married had various tasks to do during the night. One of these tasks included finding and taking a picture of a Swedish celebrity. This is not hard to do in Stockholm, if you glance around almost any club you can always find some kind of B list Swedish celebrity.

The celebrity she found was named Torre Kulgren (see picture to the left)** - famous for being a "Geek" who tried to play football (and yes, I mean soccer) on a Swedish reality TV show. I have not seen the show but it was explained to me that he apparently became the star of the show because he was just so socially awkward and therefore hilarious.

For some reason, I started talking to Torre later in the night - I think this was in part due to my new BFF C who I had met at the hen party and was having an awful lot of fun with that evening. Anyway, Torre took a liking to me and tagged along with us for the rest of the evening. As my new friend C put it, "well you found yourself a pet." And I know that it's kind of mean to say that (I'm not really a mean girl), but that's the best way I could describe him.

Unfortunately, my new "pet" made it difficult to talk to other men. But that was ok I guess - it doesn't have to be about meeting hot boys all the time. Besides, I found Torre completely amusing (and nice) and he kept flattering me by telling me how cute I was. But, I have seriously never met such a socially awkward person! I wish I had been able to remember some of the really funny things that he said when he was not even trying to be funny (but alas the wine did me no help here). And you should have seen the world's most awkward hug goodbye he gave me at 4:30 in the morning when we finally left the club (yeah - I killed it this weekend with late nights every night). Leave it to me to find the most dorky man in Sweden to hang out with for the night!

All in all, it was a great trip to Stockholm. It always is. Although I didn't meet any hot boys or kiss any Swedish boys in the rain... I got to spend a lot of time with good friends. I'm going back to Sweden for the wedding in just 2 weeks. I can't wait!

*For anyone who has just started following my blog, I lived in Stockholm for 5 years until a year ago when my company moved me to London (a move I didn't want to make).

**As you may have noticed, I never use names or put pictures of people in my blog but as he's a minor Swedish celebrity, I have decided it's ok.

The End of Summer

It's official summer is over. Here in the UK the August bank holiday that marks the official end of summer here has came and gone two weeks ago. And this past Monday was Labor Day in the US - the official end of summer for Americans.

My question is where the hell did summer go? I feel like it just started yesterday!

And because I live in London, I think that I do have the right to bitch about the weather. So, let me start by saying this summer was a complete let down! Although it started off well enough. And the weather I had while on vacation in the US was amazing! I was expecting to return to London in mid-July to experience some nice warm summer days in London. Boy was I disappointed! It was rainy and cold in London all summer! Other than the 4 weeks I spent in the US, I feel like I had no summer at all. Boo!

Alright, enough complaining. Let's quickly review what I did this summer...

To start with, I hit up the wonderful country of Spain twice in one month - first Barcelona and then Madrid!

I watched the second Sex in the City Movie.

I stressed about my summer of weddings and what I was going to wear and how I was going to face all those weddings ALONE as a single gal.

I went to the first fabulous wedding in Sweden and where I kissed a younger hot boy. I saw a dear old friend get married in Western Massachusetts. I went to San Fransisco where saw my "other brother"  get married in the most over the top kick ass party non-traditional wedding of the year.

I chilled at home in the USA with my parents and their pets and thought a lot about Americans. I went to one of my oldest friend B's beautiful wedding on Nantucket where I got to dine on yummy lobster and catch up with old friends.

I spent some time on boats on the Thames. The first time, I got to DRIVE the boat. The second time I met a hot Swedish guy dressed like Chuck Bass.

I went for a fantastic weekend trip to Smogen with the girls where we ate lots of seafood and I kissed a cute boy in the rain.

I experimented with leaving Chelsea. I went on boring date with a Scottish guy from Match, but I had more fun dating myself. The best date however was with the sexy cop - but unfortunately, he wasn't that into me.

I thought a lot about what it means to be a foreigner and what men should clearly not do when Internet dating.

I also offered up some words of wisdom.

I wrote my first unfortunate drunk blog. I went clubbing and met hot boys.

I went on a totally awesome trip to South Africa and saw 7 lions while on a safari!

And after all that overindulgence and alcohol this summer, I decided that since my clothes no longer fit right, I need to hit the gym and therefore I started to see a personal trainer who makes me do really crazy things.

I also found out my Ex-Boyfriend got engaged! And the Beautiful Swede reached out to me again. I have not written him back though - I'm proud to say!

So, what does the autumn bring for this International Woman of Mystery? Well, funny that you should ask? Because MASSIVE changes are on the horizon. I mean huge. But more on that later.

Stay tuned for an update on my awesome trip to Stockholm.

Toodles.

The Hot German Boy

So, I was getting a little bit worried that I wouldn't have anything exciting to blog about this weekend. I've been feeling a bit blue these days (for reasons I will inevitably address in another post) and the terrible London weather is not helping (I have never witnessed a more miserable summer). In general I'm feeling a bit uninspired.

As of Friday at 5 pm this International Woman of Mystery did not have a single plan for the weekend, but I was kind of feeling ok with that - thinking that I would just wallow around in my misery and spend some time alone. As you do when you are feeling down and at.

At the same time, I was realizing that this might not be a good idea and I should probably find some energy to force myself to do something if for no other reason than for the sake of this blog and my faithful readers (I now have a total of 13 official followers - btw, click follow if you have not done so already) and being able to write about something mildly entertaining.

Sexy Single Friend A saved the night on Friday though, and we decided to meet up for drinks at my favorite Chelsea pub The Phene to celebrate her new job. However, as much as I'm excited for her, it was a low key evening and I was home by 9: 30 in bed catching up on the latest Jersey Shore episode. I love me some GTL!!! Fist Pump!

On Saturday I woke up in a not much improved mood. I had two options for the evening and then the one I was leaning toward kind of fell through (or at least got a bit overly complicated) and I was seriously contemplating just staying in Saturday evening as well. But again, realizing that my days in London are dwindling and I should make the most of my time here, I searched deep inside to find some inner motivation. And then I did the following: went shopping at French Connection and spent too much money, took a power nap, went for an 8K run, threw on a sexy LBD, spent a little extra time on the hair and makeup and locked up my apartment and hit the street!

I decided to meet some work friends for a birthday dinner. The problem with this plan was the fact that the majority were work friends. And while I like most of them very much, we do an awful lot of work socializing in general and sometimes I need a break from work (because inevitably we talk way too much about work). The other problem was that I'm not exactly getting along with a certain colleague right now for reasons that I won't go into as I try to make it a policy not to blog about work stuff cuz let's face it it's boring and I spend way too much energy on work as it is. I knew he was coming to the party and I was so not interested in any possible altercation with him.

In the end it was a nice birthday dinner and copious amounts of wine and sangria helped create a fun party atmosphere and the colleague that I don't get along with made an appearance late and I didn't really need to interact with him. So, all was good.

Then we decided to go clubbing. As we had not put much thought into where we would go (i.e. we were not on any lists for the super exclusive clubs), we ended up at our old standby Valmont on Fulham Road. The scene of last weekend's crime. But I didn't mind. As I have mentioned before, I really like this club. It's small, they play good music and the people are usually ok and it's not as much of a "scene" as many of the other clubs nor does it have the high price tag.

So, there we are dancing together in kind of an obnoxious circle when suddenly the friend of the colleague who I do not get along with approaches me. He starts asking me about living in the US and making some small talk. The conversation doesn't really go that well since he is pretty intoxicated (thankfully, for once, I am less so) and the music is loud. Actually, I realize that he is really drunk. And that he is possibly attempting to firt with me - or else he is just trying to grab my hand to maintain his balance - I'm not entirely sure. I'm a  nice girl and I try to be polite but eventually need to move away from him to the other side of the circle. But suddenly there he is again - crossing the entire circle to get to me so that we can have this conversation:

Drunk Swede: So, I really think that we should go home together.

Me: Oh really? Why's that?

Drunk Swede: It will be a really good time.

Me: Umm... Let me get back to you on that one (walk away - FAST)

So, after that little interesting episode that made me laugh. I decide to escape to the ladies room. On my way back to the dance floor, I decide to stop at the bar to get another drink - I mean I'm going to need it if I have to keep interacting with the Drunk Swede.

Standing at the bar is a guy who from behind looks like he might be interesting. He is tall at least. I decide to go and stand next to him. He immediately notices me says something to the extent of that he can make room for me. He is paying for his drinks and is about to leave. He is GORGEOUS! I do not want him to leave... But what can I do?

I try to think of something quick and witty to say to grab his attention and make him stay... but nothing comes. Oh no! He is turning away! C'mon International Woman of Mystery - say something!!!! But he is already headed back to the dance floor. Damn. I look back at him again and see him hesitate and then turn back around, take steps back to the bar and look at me. The bartender is asking me for my drink order, but I am too busy watching the boy. Oh this is awkward! What do I do? I can't think. But the chemistry between us is so strong it's amazing - I can't let him get away.

He starts to leave again and I turn back to the bar. And finally I turn around again and he is still hesitating. We have to speak... So, I blurt out a very smooth opening line: "What's your name?" (Oh jeez is that all I could come up with)? And of course his name is something difficult to understand in the blaring music and I have to ask him to repeat it like 3 times before I get it. But, he has now come back to the bar and is standing next to me looking at me with amazing eyes. So mission accomplished. 

I am so distracted by his total hotness (seriously, this guy is beautiful enough to rival the Beautiful Swede) that I'm still totally unable to get a drink at the bar. I know I should be ordering the drink and I can tell that the bartender is getting a little annoyed with me as are the people behind us who are pushing to get bar space, but I can't take my eyes off this boy. Have you ever met someone where your chemistry just clicks and you are just really drawn to someone? Well, this is how it was for me in that moment. It was totally overpowering and completely awesome.

We enter the standard conversation of where are you from and what are you doing here and I finally manage to put in the drink order. I find out the hot boy is from Germany and is visiting for Investment Banking training - what else? (Seriously, I sometimes feel like there is no other profession in this city). Unfortunately, he has three checks against him: 1) he's an investment banker (or even worse, an investment banker wanna be), 2) he's German (actually I once dated a German for quite awhile and that was okay but in general they are not really known for being the most interesting or fun people) and 3) he's only in the city until Friday.

But what the hell right? He seems interesting and smart enough. He's young - 27 (perfect age). He's tall. And he is just so damn hot (I realize I have mentioned this before, but had to say it again)! I love the cute black glasses he is wearing (for some reason I find this style of glasses so sexy on men - as long as they can pull it off). And the attraction between us is incredible! When he leaned in to kiss me... well let's just say it was amazing. I actually think there were actual. So, we head off to the dance floor and dance the night away together... (Remember that this blog is rated PG 13).

So, the weekend was a success after all. The only thing that could have made it more successful is if the German boy was not leaving this week and I would see him again. But alas, it was only meant to be a one night fling. But sometimes, that's all you need to get back in the game.

Speaking of getting back in the game, stay tuned for an update on my date with the Sexy Cop!

XOXO

Smögen with the girls

Hi Y’all. So, I’m back from my latest great adventure. Did you miss me? I missed you!

Let me start by saying WHAT AN ADVENTURE these past 2 weeks have been!

I don’t know where to start.

Although South Africa is on my mind having just returned today and visions of lions and zebras (oh yeah - I saw both) are dancing in my head, I guess it’s most logical for me to start with the girl’s trip to Smögen.

And let me start by saying that my Swedish girlfriends are totally awesome. No seriously, they rock. I have never met a group of nicer kinder girls! And on top of that they are all cute too! The best thing is that we travel together at least once a year and amazingly we never ever fight. They are so drama free. It’s very refreshing. I love hanging out with them. This year our annual girl's trip was even more important for me because I don’t get to see them as often now that I live in London.

The only sad thing about the trip is that my oldest Swedish friend (and the reason that I know all the other girls) was not able to come with us this year due to the fact that she recently had a baby. We really missed her!

The other sad thing was the weather. It was oh so cold and rainy the whole time in Smögen. But we didn’t let a little grey weather spoil our fun. Oh no we didn’t!

Let me remind you that Smögen is a small harbor town on the west coast of Sweden. And it’s a major stop on the summer party sailing scene. Swedes are pretty big into sailing and one of the cool things to do is to rent a sailboat (if you don’t have your own) and go out for a week or 2 with a bunch of friends stopping at all the party spots along the route.

As we weren’t able to devote a whole week to sailing, we decided instead to drive the 7 hours from Stockholm down to Smogen (8 girls in a mini bus) on Thursday morning and stay until Sunday and hang out, catch up with each other and of course, party!

Despite the long drive, the rain, the cold weather and the very tight fit in our rented house, we still managed to have a super weekend!

I think the best way to explain the weekend is to revert to list format. So, here we go:

Things that happened in Smögen 

We pre-partied on a sail boat. A BIG sailboat. The first night in Smögen was the best night. It was the night that most of the sailboats came in as it was the place to be on the sailing route. I had mentiond to a Swedish colleague (who I do not know that well) that my 7 girlfriends and I were going to Smögen and he was like “well, me and my 7 boyfriends will be there as well. Come and join us on the boat for pre-party!” Well, ok! And so we did. And it was so much fun. My colleague and his friends were great hosts. They were a very international crowd of young professionals and therefore very interesting to talk to. And he had a particularly cute friend who was Swedish but lived in Dubai...

Blame it on the rain, but I totally had to kiss the cute friend of my colleague. The cute friend of my colleague and I exited the club together into the absolute pouring rain! There was nothing to do except run to his boat which was nearby. By the time I undid the strappy high heels I was wearing, and managed to climb over the boats moored together to get this his sailboat (note to self, do not wear hard to take off high heels when partying on boats -especially iu the rain it's impossible to walk across boats in high heels so you must take the off), we were completely soaked. I’m not sure why being barefoot and soaking wet on a sailboat wuld lead to kissing, but he was cute, so it did! And by the way, he was a good kisser. Admittedly, it was just a bit awkward when my colleague (who I did not know very well) came home later and caught us and laughed at us. I should note that he had been encouraging us all night so I think that he was laughing in a good way - let’s hope!

The girls surprised me with a spa day! I told you that they are awesome! The last time I was in Sweden, they had a birthday dinner for me and had given me a card with an IOU for a birthday gift in Smögen. But then they didn’t say that much about it. On Friday morning we were all feeling terribly hungover from the previous nights party but the girls told me that we were going to go swimming (in the ocean). I went along knowing that there was no way I would swim in the cold ocean on this cold rainy day. We did dip our toes in the cold water. But I was totally fooled. Until we walked into the hotel, I had no idea what we were actually doing! But it was a nice spa with a pool and hot tub and of course a sauna and we had a very relaxing day. The perfect remedy for a hangover.

I got a hot stone massage from an 18 year old boy. Before you jump to conclusions, this was actually a gift from the girls and the 18 year old boy was a certified (I checked) masseur at the spa. 18 is even too young for me. the hot stone massage was a new experience and not something I would have necessarily picked for myself but it's good to try everything once. I’m not sure I would do it again. But the whole massage situation was made slightly hilarious because this 18 year old boy who was giving me the massage, basically proceeded to talk to me the whole time while rubbing hot stones all over my body. So, it was kind of awkward and not that relaxing. But definitely an experience. It would have been a better experience and definitely more fun to blog about if he had been a totally hot and hunky 18 year old. But unfortunately, he truly looked 18 with the spots and the awkwardness to go with it. However, he seemed like a nice boy with lots of potential cuteness and I do think that he will grow out of it and become a heartbreaker someday. Maybe I will check up on him when he is 23 (that seems to be my lower age limit).

We ate so much amazing seafood! Smögen is famous for it’s seafood. We ate lots of shrimp, lax, crayfish, crab, and fish soup. The only thing that was oh so good but also oh so not good at the same time was the aioli. Shrimps in Smögen are uusually consumed dipped in aioli. I love aioli. I could eat it plain. And eat it I did. A lot of it. The problem was that it was not so conducive to kissing meeting men.

Seafood market

 

Räk Mackor (Shrimp sandwiches)

Dinner at the house

We ate this amazing sandwich called landgård! It has shrimp, crayfish and lax all on a piece of bread. Seriously this was the most amazing thing I have eaten in a long time. And we had fish soup on the side. Yum!

 Landgård = Yummy!

We enjoyed walking around the quaint town of Smögen and checking out the small shops. Seriously, how beautiful is this place:?

We partied with lots of boys boys boys... The best part about being in a sailing town was the fact that the guy girl ratio was way off. There were so many boys! And so few girls. My sexy single friend H and I were the only single gals in our group and we got lots of male attention. So much so that it was almost not really a good thing. Especially the first night when I was hanging out with the cute Swedish friend of my colleague. He seemed irritated by the boys grabbing me - it was irritating. I enjoyed the attention at first but it got annoying quickly. 

 A scene from a Smögen nightclub: lots of party! And lots of BOYS!

BOYS, BOYS, BOYS

Of course here was a little fun boy drama. And for once it wasn’t my drama. But my Sexy Single friend H who had the drama, has agreed that I could share her funny story. After the nightclub one night, H and I were for some reason sitting on the bench outside the nightclub. And of course due to the dispraportionate ration of boys to girls ratio as mentioned above, we did not manage to sit alone for long. H started talking to kissing this guy who flat out told her that he had a girlfriend but that he really wanted to kiss her anyway. I guess H decided that the girlfriend was his problem and that kissing on a bench was harmless enough. The drama ensued the next day when we went for lunch and the guy and his girlfriend were sitting at the next table! Ooops! The guy had forgotten to mention that his girlfriend was actually WITH HIM. We all had a good laugh about this. The always calm H, thought the whole thing was hilarious and didn't seem phased at all. We did joke about her going up to him and his girl and introducing herself as "the girl from last night.:" But, we aren't really that mean. We left the guy alone. Although poor girlfriend. Someone should tip her off that her boyfriend's a creep.

I met a boy who wanted to make me his partner in crime. Literally. While my sexy single friend H, was talking to kissing the boy on the bench with the girlfriend. Another boy was speaking to me. At first glance, he seemed like a very good looking boy. But he soon proved to be crazy. Literally. This was basically how our interaction went:

First we had a very annoying conversation that I tend to have often with very annoying Swedish men which involves me convincing them that I really am American (usually by showing them my American driver's license) and them still doubting me and thinking that I'm really Swedish and just pulling one over on them. I should have walked away then because the conversation continued to detriorate from there:

Him: Let’s commit a crime. I’m feeling crazy tonight.

Me: What do you mean? (realizing that he MIGHT really be crazy but still hoping he is joking)

Him: I mean, I want to rob a bank or something... Do something crazy.

Me: Well... I don’t see any banks around... (fortunately)

Him: Let’s rob a store then (tries to kiss me)

Me: (pushing him away) Sorry buddy, but my crime committing days are over. This one is all you.

Him: No seriously. Let’s rob a store together. I want you to do this with me. C'mon!

Me: I don’t see any stores around anyway... but if you feel like committing a crime, I’m not going to stop you... I’m not going to participate either.

Him: C’mon. I need a partner. (Tries to kiss me again with way too much force)

Me: (Tiring of the conversation and him forcing himself on me) See ya. (Grab sexy single friend H and run away from the crazy guy).*

We danced and danced and danced. The dance party started at the house fueld by glasses of rose and then we continued dancing each night in the clubs on the watefront. The second night, we went to a plac with a particularly good DJ and managed to find a small stage in front of the air conditioning unit to dance on. It was so much fun - although we had to keep getting rid of annoying men who wanted to join us - beat it boys! This was a girls’ night. The following songs will forever remind me of summer 2010 - if you don’t know them, check them out:

• Stereo Love
• Alors on Danse
• We Speak No Americano
• Dancing on My Own - Robyn
• (One) Your Name - Swedish House Mafia 

We had a great time with great friends. We all missed the party in Visby a bit. But it didn’t matter where we were because we were all together and that was what mattered. Thanks for yet another great weekend girls. You are the best! Krammar!

*I swear that this ridiculous conversation really happened. In fact, it lasted for around 10 minutes and was even more ridiculous than I managed to represent here - but I had also consumed high quantaties of rose wine so my memory did not allow me to take down the full 10 minute conversation so this is just a high level recap.

Back to London and being a Faux Swede

So, I’m back in London now and I’m kinda struggling to get back on the work schedule but in fact, a very strange thing has happened: I don’t have that much to do at work. There are some reason behind this which I will get to at a later date, but this is a very weird experience for me. I’m used to being really really busy. I don’t know what to do with myself when I don’t have 15 hours of work that I’m trying to cram into a 10 hour day! Oh dear... what is wrong with me? Why am I even complaining about this. I’m thinking that I should shut up now and just try to enjoy it.

I’m also thinking that now that I have some free time again, maybe I should pursue the London dating scene again! I’m simultaneously trying to pursue the work out/eat healthy/get in shape scene again - but that’s really not as interesting for me to write about and there are enough blogs out there about that!

I decided to jump back into the London scene Swedish London scene by attending a Swedish Chamber of Commerce event with my sexy single friend A. Ok for real. Why did I not do this before? It’s the perfect place to look for my future Swedish husband pick up cute 25 year old Swedish boys. But more on that in a minute - first I’m going to sidetrack a bit and talk about being a faux Swede - one of my favorite subjects.

The thing about Swedes is that you can spot a Swede a mile away. They stand out! But for good reasons. They look good, they dress good, they carry themselves well... overall they just have a good style.

As I have mentioned before, I look very Swedish - or at least that’s what I’m told over and over again by Swedes and Non-Swedes. However, it never fails to amuse me when people mistake me for being Swedish. I do take this as a really great compliment. I love being a Faux Swede!

So, after that introduction, let me get back to the weekend.

Friday night we hit the bar for After Work (as the Swedes would say) or Happy Hour as the Americans would say. Since I’ve moved to London I’ve been waiting anxiously for The Phene, a pub very near to my house to open. It’s been under renovation since I moved here but it looked like a great place with a huge outdoor terrace. It opened while I was on vacation and is seemingly a big success (especially with the Swedes who seem to have a good sense of nice pubs).

So, we headed there after work for a few drinks and let me tell you - it is my new favorite place! Fact. I plan to live there this summer. It has a great outdoor terrace and the inside is really nice as well. In fact, the whole place is really “Swedish” meaning I feel like I could be in Sweden and considering that the clientele was mostly Swedes (mostly my colleagues and their friends) I guess that is not exactly surprising.

The only downside is that I heard the food was not so great and you have to exit the terrace around 10 pm due to noise regulations. Oh well. Despite that, it’s still pretty good. And on this night there were even cute (Non-Swedish actually) boys to flirt with like Tom the investment banker... who gave me his business card but was too arrogant for my liking... Why is everyone in this city an investment banker? And even worse, it just seems like investment bankers are not my type. I wish I could meet a nice and interesting one and then I would literally eat my words. But I’m thinking that’s not going to happen.

So, a funny thing did happen at the Pub. I was speaking to a colleague who works in a different product that I met for the first time that night. So, we are in this long conversation which did involve me explaining some of my life including the fact that I lived in Sweden for 5 years but I started working for my company in Boston etc. I did feel that at different points of the conversation we were having trouble connecting, although I couldn’t quite understand what the problem was. So, about 20 minutes into the conversation I mentioned something about my Swedish being “not very good,” and she was like “Why not? Did you live abroad a lot as a kid?” And I was suddenly like “ You do realize that I’m American, right?” At that point we both realized that this whole time she’d been sitting there thinking I was Swedish and that had led to our small miscommunication! We had a good long laugh about this! But once again, unknowingly, I was posing as a faux Swede! I swear, I’m not even trying to trick people. It just happens!

Saturday night was the Chamber of Commerce event: a BBQ boat ride down the Thames. This time, I unfortunately did not get to drive the boat, but it was still a fun night for other reasons.

So, I’m waiting for my sexy single friend A to make an appearance - I am oddly early and she is oddly late. And I’m standing at Westminster Pier watching all the Swedes and reflecting on how amusing it is that you can easily spot the Swedes as they really stand out from the other tourists and Londoners. One of the organizers of the event (enter the aforementioned 25 year old Swede) comes up and asks me (in Swedish of course) if I’m Swedish and if I’m there for the party. I tell him in English that technically no, I’m not Swedish (just a Faux Swede - but I don't say that out loud thank God) but I am here for the event. And he is nice enough to make small talk with me until my friend arrives. Once again, I’m amused that he thinks I’m Swedish until I tell him that I’m not. There were obviously other foreigners at the event but I could easily pick out who they were. What makes me more Swede-like? Swedish followers? What do you think? Comments appreciated.

I was also amused by the 25 year old’s “oh-so-Swedish” outfit. The party was actually a theme party. The theme was ironically “The Hamptons” which I think he actually came up with. Ironic because here I was an American looking like a Swede pretending to be an American! Did I loose you yet? I think I lost myself... Anyway, back to his outfit. He was going for a Chuck Bass (you know from Gossip Girl) Hampton’s look and had actually Googled this picture below and managed to succeed in rocking this style:

The “oh-so-Swedish” part however was the socks. He was of course wearing pink socks (which were highly visible with all that white and because the pant legs were cut perfectly to show off the pink socks - So Swedish)! Seriously, why do Swedish men all wear pink socks. The Beautiful Ex Swede has like 5 pairs. It is hard for me to imagine an American man wearing pink socks*...

Anyway, the night progressed. The boat went up and down the river as the rose wine flowed and people started to get to know each other. And most importantly there were lots of cute boys to entertain my sexy single friend A and I. The night continued at a Mayfair club called Whiskey Mist which is a pretty fun club. It was actually a pretty good night! Fun to go to a club with 120 people you have just met. Makes you feel like you know everyone and sets a good party mood. The club was good. The music was good. The people were good. I was drinking champagne and dancing with the cute 25 year old Swedish boy dressed like Chuck Bass. And you know I can’t resist me some Chuck Bass...

And so I will end the night there... No need for more details... ;)

Hope your week is off to a great start!

*Shh... don't tell anyone, but I secretly like pink socks on men. This might be even more proof that I'm a faux Swede! Help!

A Fantastic Swedish Wedding Weekend

I can't believe that the whole week has gotten away with me and I haven't managed to post my blog about my amazing whirlwind weekend in Stockholm last weekend! I'm now back in the US (more on that later) and have finally found the time to finish this post, so here goes.

Let me begin by summarizing the weekend in some bullet points.
During my Stockholm whirwind wedding weekend I:

• Grabbed a quick catch up with my Fab friend A by staying at her place
• Took a massive digger (he he - I love that word - it means fall in case anyone is not up on the American slang) while running in the park in Kungsholmen - amazingly I managed to fit in two long runs on my crazy busy trip
• Worked out of the Stockholm office for a day and caught up with my team there over a nice lunch
• Sat outside of Diplomat and had a glass of Rose while watching the crazy student trucks drive by - Gotta love the student trucks*
• Celebrated my birthday with a dinner at Josefina's followed by dancing at Cafe Opera with my great Swedish friends
• Attended a totally fabulous wedding of an amazing couple in the Swedish countryside in the bestest Swedish weather ever!
• Danced up a storm at the wedding
• Met one ex boyfriend at the wedding
• Decided that I preferred my 23 year old dinner partner to the ex boyfriend who was at the wedding
• Suffered a massively delayed hangover that came on in the middle of the wedding dinner (probably caused by the reaction of my body to new alcohol consumption after way too much the night before) so I spent a good hour and a half basically sweating, unable to eat or talk and just focusing all my attention on not throwing up (truly impressing both of my dinner partners)
• Managed to somehow shake off the hangover and make an amazing come back including finding my way back to the booze, dancing up a storm, finding sustenance at 2 am in 3 sausages (hot dogs to you Americans) and staying up until about 5 in the morning
• Fended off a phone call from the beautiful Swede who was either calling because he saw I was in Stockholm or calling because it was my birthday (I didn't answer - aren't you proud)?
• Was so happy for both the couple that got married and also for my friend A who has just moved back to Stockholm from London and started a new life and found a new amazing man - maybe there is hope for me yet!
• Managed to sleep only a total of 8 hours in 3 nights (and that might even be an exageration - it could have been more like 6)

 And now for the dirty details:

Ok. Let me start by saying. I NEED TO MOVE BACK TO STOCKHOLM! They say home is where your heart is and my heart is definitely in Stockholm with my friends... And yes, I know all you Swedes are probably thinking that I'm just being lured into thinking I want to return by the beautiful Swedish weather that made the weekend so wonderful (and is unfortunately not the weather pattern 99% of the time). Yes... that did have an impact. But those of you close to me know that even in the dead of winter, I was missing Stockholm badly and saying I needed to move back. But more on why I love Sweden so much later. It deserves a full blog post in itself.

Back to the weekend. So I arrived in Stockholm late Friday night and decided to stay with my friend A. Since she had to work the whole weekend (she has some kind of secret life where she rides around in helicopters on weekends, meets celebrities and MC's huge events - who knew!) I decided to stay with her so that we could find some time in between our crazy schedules to catch up. That time ended up being late Thursday night where we sat on her balcony and talked. A is a former colleague who has recently left London to return to Stockholm. She is so happy with her decision to leave London and has herself a great new job and a great new man. Basically a new and fabulous life. She inspires me. I need to make some positive changes like that (but more on that later).

Unfortunately... I had some minor issues with sleeping. First of all A didn't have any curtains in her apartment which is not that unusual for a Swede - I don't think I had any in my apartment in Sweden (at least not good ones that really kept out the light). You do get used to the light when you live in Sweden. But the problem was: I WAS NOT USED TO THE LIGHT. Below is a picture of what it looks like at midnight in Stockholm. This picture was taken from my friend's apartment. Basically that's as dark as it gets. And I usually think this is kind of awesome and it's one of the reasons I love Sweden (unfortunately you do compensate for this in the winter of course), but I learned the hard way that if you are not used to it anymore, it's difficult to sleep. Note to self: bring a sleep mask next time. The whole sleeping situation was not really helped by the fact that I was sleeping on an air mattress that kept deflating. Seriously, I'm starting to hate air mattresses or maybe they just hate me. This is the third time in a row that I have slept on an air mattress that deflated throughout the night. There is nothing like waking up a few hours later on the floor with the deflated air mattress surrounding you.

This was the darkest it got all night in Stockholm:

So, the next day after a good half hour to one hour of sleep, I decided that I would go for a morning jog cuz I'm kind crazy like that. But perhaps because of lack of sleep or probably more likely just REALLY bad luck and because stupid things have a way of happening to me, I manage to get into a small situation while running... Ok - this is for real. I don't know how it happened, but somehow I manage to get both feet stuck in a hair tie on the ground (one of those big headband ones that go around your whole head). Seriously, somehow both of my feet manage to get inside that thing and I go flying up and away through the air landing several feet away on my but and my hand which immediately begins to gush blood. I can't decide at that point whether to laugh of cry. But finally decide that laughter is the only option because I must be a super talented person in order to get both feet stuck in a hair tie while running. I stand up, brush myself off and continue running cuz that's how awesome and hardcore I am!

But luckily the weather was beautiful and that gave me the energy to get through the day despite my lack of sleep and my bruised but. And the Stockholm office and my team had a positive vibe so that helped. We had a nice lunch and then I managed to sneak away a bit early and take a short much needed nap. Then off to meet my girlfriends at Josefina's which is a fun open air bar on the water. The thing about Stockholm is I have GREAT GIRLFRIENDS and I have a LOT of girlfriends. We were 15 girls for dinner. And it was so great to see them all again. I miss them like crazy. After dinner we went to Cafe Opera where A - the girl I was staying with - showed up with her hot new man. Seriously, I'm so happy for A. And I'm so proud of her for figuring out that younger men (she is 7 years older) are the way to go! I have been telling her this for ages.

After a way too brief sleep, it was morning and it was time to wake up up and beutify myself for the wedding for the wedding. The thing is despite a few too many drinks the night before, I felt good when I woke up. But by the time I met my friends to drive to the wedding, I was feeling a bit shaky. Too much champagne and Rose the night before... But I soon forgot about it as soon as we got out to the church. It was another beautiful day and the bride was absolutely gorgeous. And the bride and groom just seemed in a bubble of absolute and complete love for each other! It was picture perfect.

I have to now make a small comment about this wonderful couple that got married. They are the BEST! S was my absolutely craziest single girlfriend in Stockholm. As far as I know, until meeting the guy she married, she had never had a relationship lasting more than a few weeks. She was one of the most fun girls I know (she still is - I don't really mean to be putting it in the past tense here - other than now she is married and I'm speaking of her former single self). She called men cookies and she sure had a lot of cookies around. We worked together and it was always the highlight of my day to meet her over a cup of coffee and hear stories about all her "cookies." She is the only girl I know who had the stamina to go on 5 dates a week. She introduced me to Internet dating (literally, she signed me up for a Swedish dating site one day when I was taking a shower and she was waiting for me because she felt that I needed to meet more "cookies"). You could say that she was my dating mentor or at least my dating inspiration.

And then one day she met her prince - it was at a work party (of course). She was about to move to Switzerland for work and he was living there and working for our company. I obviously kept in touch with her while she was away and based on that they were soon living together, I realized that this "cookie" was someone serious. And when he left his job and moved back to Sweden, she soon followed him. This was not a surprise, but I have to say that when she told me she was pregnant (less than a year after they met) I was a bit taken aback - although extremely happy for her. I'm happy to report that they now have an absolutely beautiful baby girl. My expectations were high for their wedding as they are both such a fun outgoing and kind couple. I have to say - that I was not disappointed. Their wedding was so amazing. And the way they looked at each other! It was as if there was no one else in the room. And he is such a nice guy! I often have said that he is like the boy version of my friend S. I'm so happy for my friend S. I love the story of how she meet her final "cookie" and I love how quickly they decided to build a life together. They just seemed to know immediately that they were meant to be - and it was obvious to everyone else as well. I wish them the best for the future and lifetime of love and happiness. And I wish that someday soon I will suddenly meet "the one" and it will happen just as fast and be just as natural. But as the saying goes, "you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince." Well, I'm still kissing frogs... but I'm hoping that my prince is just around the corner. I'm trying to stay hopeful.

The wedding reception was held at a castle overlooking a large lake and all the guests were staying over in assigned dormitory style rooms. It was a beautiful place for a reception. And a beautiful day - see picture below. We drank champagne outside on the lawn before heading in to dinner. I was feeling much better and looking forward to the rest of the evening and the champagne was going down nicely. But suddenly half way through dinner and after one glass of wine, I got the shakes and broke out into a cold sweat. And just like that a horrible delayed hangover hit me and knocked me out! Perhaps because the room was so crowded, perhaps because I forced alcohol into my fragile body way too early, perhaps because the appetizer course did not sit well with me... I don't know! But I felt BAD. So bad that I considered leaving the dinner and going to lay down. But I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to disappoint my friend. It was a small wedding and I worried that my absence would be missed. So, I decided to do my best to struggle through.

 

The thing about Swedish wedding dinners is that they are LONG and full of entertaining toasts and speeches (in Swedish - which means they are not that entertaining to me) about the couple from the friends and relatives. There is an assigned toast master and they guide you through the dinner and keep the pace between the different coarses and the toasts. The last Swedish wedding I went to, we sat down for dinner at 6 and got up at 1 am and witnessed THIRTY toasts! (Ok - I guess even by Swedish standards that wedding was an exception). But still... I knew this would be a long evening so when I started to feel bad, I began to panic.  

The other thing about Swedish weddings is that you do not sit with your date (which was fine for me since obviously I didn't have one). It is customary to spread guests out guy, girl throughout the room and Swedes tend to put a lot of thought into who sits with who. Between toasts, you are expected to talk to both your dinner partners on either side as the bride and groom have usually put them next to you because they think you have something in common. This time was no exception. I had great dinner partners. On one side was the best man who had lived in Boston for years and had previously worked for my company - he was very interesting and had lots of energy and enthusiasm. On the other side was a hot 23 year old guy who was also interesting and engaging but in a very different way - mostly being that he was cute and single and smart - although oh so young. I felt absolutely embarrassed by the fact that suddenly I went from being my usual social (and flirty) self to being almost dead silent. I ended up having to apologize to both my dinner partners and embarrisngly had to admit to them that suddenly I didn't feel well so I was sorry for being so quiet. They seemed to forgive me but both continued to pepper me with questions to which I gave one word answers while trying not to upchuck my dinner all over the table. Although determined to make it through dinner, at one point I was sure that after the dinner I would have to sneak away and go to sleep and skip the rest of the evening. Seriously. It was THAT BAD. I was suffering big time.

But, I'm happy to report that as quickly as my delayed hangover came on, it went away. I suffered through a terrible hour and a half of cold sweats while focusing all my attention on not being sick. But by the time the cake was cut, I was able to actually have a piece although I continued to have to forgo the alcohol for small sips of water throughout dinner. But after dinner I joined the rest of the guests in the journey down to the cabin on the water where the dancing section of the evening was to take place. I am proud to say that I traded in my heels for flip flops and danced like a maniac until 6 in the morning (gotta love the party all-night aspect of the Swedish wedding). And the evening, couldn't have been more beautiful. We experienced a beautiful sunset and an even more spectacular sunrise (see picture below). All in all it was perfect. Say nothing of the fact that the 23 year old who was my dinner partner seemed to forgive me for my weak dinner banter and decided to flirt with me. This was extra good since I then had a reason not to engage too much with my ex-boyfriend the slightly older Teacher who I had dated for a few months a couple years back (not THE EX) who was at the wedding (the bride had set us up once upon a time). Ha ha... what can I say? I love younger men. And turns out, they are not bad kissers either!

All in all it was such a beautiful wedding and a fantastic weekend - one of my top ten weekends in the past years for sure. I have to say that I love the simplicity of Sweden. The wedding was simple yet elegant. The emphasis was on the party and not on the decorations, or the DJ or the bar. It was just good fun with great people. Say nothing of the fact that we partied all night (American weddings tend to end around midnight). I hope the other 4 weddings of the summer can live up to this one. 

*The student trucks seem to be a truly Swedish phenomenon. When the students graduate from Gymnasium, the tradition in Stockholm is to rent a big truck with a flat bed in the back (I think that's how you describe it - basically like a big empty space behind the truck where in this case, around 40 to 50 people can stand and well party) decorate the trucks with birch leaves and the Swedish colors red and blue and usually a handmade flag from the school, and drive all over the city spraying champagne, beer and wine all over yourself and sometimes over the people passing by. They also tend to blare music as loud as possible, wear horns and other noise makers around their neck and just drive through the city getting totally wasted and screaming and yelling and shouting out to everyone. It's a hilarious tradition. And it's so fun to watch. It doesn't matter how old you are, you can't help but smile when the student trucks drive through town and you look at all the young kids laughing and partying and having a good time. The best thing of all is that I GOT TO GO ON STUDENT TRUCK! Unfortunately, I wasn't actually mistaken for an 18 year old and actually invited onto a student truck (that had been my dream since moving to Stockholm). But the second best thing happened and my work had a summer party one year which involved all of us oldies getting on a student truck and driving through town. SO MUCH FUN! One of my top 10 memories of Stockholm for sure!

The Anticipation of Sex and the City

It's finally ALMOST HERE! The movie we have all been waiting for (well, at least since the first one). Sex and the City 2. Seriously, Are you as excited as I am?

Women everywhere have been gearing up for this even for the past few weeks and months: dreaming of Manolos and Jimmy Choos, spending money on beautiful dresses, ordering cosmos, gossiping about men with their girlfriends, using the word FABULOUS more than is really necessary. And the commercial cash-in has taken London by storm. It seems like everywhere you look there is a poster with 4 women modeling glamorous clothing. Every single page of every single magazine seems to be referencing SATC. And today I got at least 4 emails from different London venues totally promoting pre-SATC cosmos and something called a Hunk Martini.

Well, I'm going to see Sex and the City 2 with a sexy girl group next Wednesday. And I can't wait! And we are so totally going to rock pretty dresses and drink cosmos before. As you should!

Just watching the trailer gives me chills! If you haven't seen it, check it out!



Ahhhh!!! Isn't it great? I so can't wait to see what unfolds between Carrie and Big. And AIDEN!! I can't believe he just shows up!! Ok for real... how hot is Aiden? Out of all the guys Carrie dated, he was my favorite. I never really quite understood the attraction to Mr. Big or the Russian for that matter.

Speaking of ex's popping up randomly. The Beautiful Swede Facebooked me (yes, I do believe it's a verb these days) today. It was a stupid message to say he still thinks of me and that he hopes I have a great birthday (which is by the way still well over a week away and I will be in Stockholm for it - although he doesn't know that). The NERVE! I mean, we all know he has a girlfriend! Why is he still stalking me? LEAVE. ME. ALONE.

I have to say though, I'm quite proud of myself. Unlike last time, I didn't totally loose my shit. This time, I only spent 5 minutes composing answers in my head like "Who are you? I have erased you from my memory." Then I deleted the message and went to the gym. Ok. Ok. I lied. I didn't delete the message (I tried to but for some reason my finger wouldn't press delete - Bad finger)! But I did leave the computer and go to the gym (eventually). And I did not even spend the whole time taking my aggression out on the stairmaster and composing alternative responses in my head. Ooops. Lied again. Sorry.

But I digress - as usual. Back to the topic of the day (or at least of this blog): Sex and the City. The funny thing is that the first time I watched all the episodes (yes, I am a faithful fan and I have done the box set rounds at least twice), I was in my early twenties (imagine). And I have to say as much as I found it amusing and funny, I couldn't really relate. It was probably due to the fact that I was living in China, had a boyfriend and was insanely poor so fashionable clothes and Jimmy Choos were not even a thought on the horizon... But mostly, I was just YOUNG! I guess I couldn't really relate to the girls because to be honest, I didn't ever see myself as BEING those girls. I'm pretty sure that I thought I would be happily married and having children in my thirties and therefore would never really experience that lifestyle. Plus, I was kind of a prude and I couldn't believe that single gals could have that much SEX! (Oh what little did I know).

Fast forward 6 years to the second time I watch the series (just this past autumn actually). And SUDDENLY I had the revelation that I assume many 30-something women have: MY LIFE IS SO LIKE SEX AND THE CITY. Ok without the Jimmy Choos. And without the fabulous wardrobe (although with definitely a more fabulous wardrobe than in my 20's). Ok and without Mr. Big. Ok and without quite the same amount of sex... But you know what I mean. The point is. I suddenly totally get it. These are women in their 30's who have either decided not to get married and have babies or it just hasn't happened for them yet. They are beautiful, they are confident, they are sexy, they have careers, they are enjoying life, they are dating lots of men, they have cash to spend on clothes and shoes, they look amazing. and they are Freaking FABULOUS!

I mean why did I start to write this blog? For the same reason. I wanted to represent the alternative lifestyle for single 30-something women out there. I wanted to show that there is something to do in your thirties other than have babies and husbands (not that I have a problem with it - it just hasn't happened to me yet). So, instead I'm focusing on being FABULOUS. And of course, there is no better inspiration than Sex and the City. Thank you Keri, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha for showing me it can be done. And it can be done with style. And it can be done in very high heels. And it can be lots of fun. And there can be lots of men. Oh - and there can be lots of SEX.

So, in anticipation of a great movie... I leave you with some words of wisdom from the one and only Carrie Bradshaw:

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back to life. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

-Carrie Bradshaw

What did we do Before Facebook?

I'm just back from an exciting weekend in Stockholm. Although I spent some very busy working days in the Stockholm office, I still managed to fit in some time for fun and catching up with old friends and as usual the girls had planned a big social schedule for us. I also had the great pleasure of meeting 3 beautiful new babies of good friends! It was really great to see my friends as new moms although it made me really realize how far there lives are from mine at this point ( do feel that this topic deserves a whole other blog). And as if to prove that it doesn't matter that everyone else is having babies and I'm still out partying like a 23 year old, I partied pretty hard 3 nights in a row despite having a massive cold that would have sent any normal person running for bed. I also went with a friend to the spa where we had great ambitions of having a work out session at the gym but unfortunately were so hungover we could only mope around and hang out in the outdoor (heated) pool and get a massage. Then, hangover still holding on, we met the rest of the girl group for an adventurous afternoon of pole dancing. Believe me. Swinging around a pole and trying to be sexy and graceful when you are hungover is something I DO NOT advise. However... hangover and all it was a really good time and I was amazed at how good we all were at the little sexy dance routine we all learned. The bruises in obscene places and the sore muscles on the other hand, are not so fun. Who knew pole dancing was such a good workout or so much fun?

If pole dancing was a high point... Unfortunately on Friday night I experienced a major low point when my friend (innocently enough and still feeling bad that she was the one to tell me) dropped the bomb that I knew was coming sooner or later when she said "Oh I hear the Beautiful Swede has a new girlfriend." Even though I was prepared for this kind of revelation about my Ex Boyfriend as I somewhat assumed that there was a possibility he had continued dating the New Year's Eve date, I was devastated. Directly after New Year's I had made a decision to not stalk him on Facebook (In one small moment of weakness over Christmas I did look at pictures of the girl I thought he was dating and then realized that I was only hurting myself and no good could come of following his life especially when I realized she looked like - to borrow a phrase from a friend - a "bad copy" of me). So, I "hid him" on Facebook so I would no longer see any status updates/relationship changes/pictures etc. Notice that I didn't actually "block him" which would mean that then he can't see my updates. I just hid him so I can't see what he's doing, but he can still see how great and wonderful my life is through my cheery status updates and frequent pictures of me with other men - as I might have mentioned before, I'm very very mature when it comes to relationships. So, because I had "hidden him" I didn't see when he changed his Facebook status to "In a Relationship." Luckily I have friends to watch out for me...

Even more devastating is the fact that that although we dated for over a year, we never changed our Facebook status to "In a Relationship." Ugh. Did I just write that? Oh yes I did. Ok. Let me explain. On the outside, I pretend that I think that changing your Facebook status is really cheesy and is not something I ever will do (I'm pretty sure that I expressed this to the Beautiful Swede) however, on the deep deep inside... I really secretly want a guy (ok - we're getting real honest here, I wanted that guy - the Beautiful Swede) to ask me to be "In a Relationship" with him on Facebook. I can't believe I'm saying this, but my deep dark secret is that I want a guy who wants to proclaim to our closest 500 + friends each on Facebook that we have a relationship. Ok... maybe I'm getting a bit carried away... I mean I haven't figured out if I will actually accept the relationship request - I have heard that you can always "deny" or "ignore" - but I still want to be asked. And it definitely makes me feel bad that he was so quick to jump into a Facebook relationship with someone else... Cue the insecurities... So, despite being prepared to hear that my Beautiful Ex had a girlfriend, it hit me hard. It ruined my night and it was in the back of my mind all weekend. And obviously I have been obsessing about it ever since. I only hope blogging about it will help me to get over it.

So, I was feeling a bit down about the Beautiful Swede having a new girlfriend, but luckily The Tennis Player (aptly named since he was a pro tennis player at some point in the recent past) thanks to my enthusiastic Facebook "I'm in Stockholm Y'all" status update, knew I was in town and sent me a message asking me if I wanted to meet up...

My relationship with the Tennis Player is a simple one. It doesn't really exist (outside the bedroom at least). But we have known each other for 3 or 4 years - neither of us can remember but it either way it seems like an extraordinarily long time for a relationship of this sort to continue to exist without any drama. We see each other from time to time depending on when we are both single. He actually fits my "perfect man" description exactly. He is tall, extremely handsome, dark hair, blue eyes, in good shape (he was a former tennis player), reasonably smart - well at least I think... capable of interesting conversation (mostly in the form of bedroom talk), a bit shy though and not seemingly a player, has lived in the US for 4 years while studying, close with his family, and whenever I see him, I want to rip his clothes off (just in case you were still in any doubt as to the nature of our relationship). But the relationship doesn't go anywhere (outside the bedroom at least). I think we are both happy with this set up. And seriously every perpetually single girl needs at least one man in their lives like this. Anyway, I had trouble deciding whether to contact the Tennis Player or not and had finally decided not to mostly because I was very tired from the night before and still sick with a never ending cold and I felt that a good night's sleep might do me some good. However, fate intervened and as I went to walk out of the club on Saturday night I literally bumped into him. We had a good laugh about our "destiny." And well I'm sure that you can guess the rest. Keeping in the PG-13 spirit of this blog, I won't divulge the dirty details.

So, all in all... A good weekend. Sad about the Beautiful Swede but saved by the Tennis Player. And as always a great time with the girls - and that's what's most important anyway.

But of course, back at work on Monday morning, the Beautiful Swede gets me on Google messenger to say: Hope you had a nice weekend in Stockholm. Guess he was also following my enthusiastic Facebook updates... I wish I could say that I easily casually ignored this comment, just easily brushed it aside and went on with my day - obviously not since I'm still thinking and writing about it now. Instead it threw off my whole day. First I created and rejected many one-liners to give him such as: Leave me Alone; Never Contact Me Again; Drop Dead Buddy; It was a fabulous weekend and the Tennis player was fabulous too (The Beautiful Swede wisely didn't like the Tennis Player - we had accidentally bumped into him out at least once)... See there goes that maturity shining through again. Then I wrote 3 different emails:

1. The angry never contact me again, I wish I never wasted my time with you email


2. The I hope you are well, I'm well too, my life is wonderful now without you. I know it must be hard, but I do hope that you might manage to have a semi-nice life without me.


3. The sad teary-eyed, I miss you lots but I heard you have someone new and I just want you to know that it's really hard but I'm trying to move on too and it's better for me if you never contact me again because it hurts so much, if I think we can ever be friends again, then I will let you know but don't hold your breath.

Finally the maturity kicked in and I decided not to send any of the emails but they are all sitting in my "Draft" section of Gmail just waiting for me to figure out which one to send... In retrospect, maybe I can just send him a link to this blog. Nothing else... Hmm....

But here's the test. Read this post again and look at all the ways that Facebook intervened in the dynamics of this weekend (say nothing of the fact that I used it to contact all my friends to arrange meeting up with them). So, I ask you all this one question. Where would we be with out Facebook? Seriously? What did we do before Facebook? How did people know what other people were doing and keep in touch with each other? How did they arrange to meet up? How did people make their Exes jealous or post fun pictures of girl outings like pole dancing so the memories of fun weekends can live on in cyber space long after the party's over. How did we know that our exes had moved on to someone else? How did people proclaim their relationships? And are relationships these days really relationships without a Facebook proclamation? Was my relationship with the Beautiful Swede less real than his relationship with "her" because we did not set our Facebook status to "in a relationship?" I mean there are probably hundreds of my friends who didn't even know I was even in a relationship with him because my status on Facebook always remained "single"! Ok - I'm kidding - kind of... And is technology really helping? In the case of the Tennis Player it helped him to know I was in town, but wouldn't we have bumped into each other in the club anyway? Or is it hurting? In the case of the Beautiful Swede, do I really need to know he is dating someone else? And do I really need to be tempted to go in and check out pictures of him and his new girlfriend? I have to say that I am for the most part, a real Facebook addict. With my international lifestyle, I find it an easy and fun way to keep up with friends all over the world. On more than one occasion Facebook has enabled me to meet up with people in random cities just because we caught each other's Facebook post that we were going to the same place at the same time. But a sometimes, I just can't help wondering were we all just better off before Facebook?

Don't Let Your Friends Set You Up!

One of the many 'joys' of being single is that your friends often try too hook you up with men they think are "perfect for you!"

My Swedish girlfriend had been trying to set up her colleague and I for a long time. She would always tell me how "perfect" he was for me. In fact, we had actually met each other a few times but each time one of us had been with someone else. He was someone who on at least on paper seemed good for me: tall, moderately handsome, Swedish (I love those Swedish men), good career, smart, motivated, hard working, and well traveled and in fact really into adventure travel... For the sake of this post, let's call him the Swedish Adventurer.

Anyway, on a trip back to Sweden, I randomly met up with the Swedish Adventurer and we found that for once we were both single and also were needless to say quite intoxicated at this point of the night. This realization of course encouraged a drunken make out sesssion in a stairwell while our even more drunk friends waited for us at McDonalds - Classy - I know). Despite our drunken state we did manage to talk about him coming to visit me in London.

Maybe it was the alcohol (blame it on the.... ok enough). Or maybe it's because my friend had been encouraging us for ages, but mostly I think I just WANTED to be interested in him. I wanted to be interested in anyone BUT the Beautiful Swede (who I was actually in Stockholm to see). But if I had been really honest with myself, I would have had to admit that our chemistry didn't feel right.

But I selfishly went ahead with the idea of using the Swedish Adventurer to get over my Ex and I continued with an actual delusional hope that maybe he was the one. And right before Christmas-time, just a couple weeks after that Swedish trip, the Swedish Adventurer came to London to visit for the weekend.

I was actually excited for his visit. The first night we had a great dinner and good conversation - I could definitely see why my friend thought we would be a good match. But something just didn't feel right, there was really no chemistry and I again had the feeling that this just wasn't the guy for me. This was confirmed the following day when I realized that his idea of a "fun afternoon" in London was to spend it SHOPPING. Ok. I do not like to shop. I like to have new things (often) and this causes me to need to shop (frequently) but I honestly don't enjoy shopping.

My rules for shopping go something like this:

• always shop alone


• never spend more than an hour shopping


• only shop if it's necessary


• never shop if there is something better to do

Therefore, I tend to limit my shopping to lunch time runs. Being dragged around London shopping with a guy was NOT fun. Especially since he wanted to go to record shops and men's clothing shops. I was BORED out of my mind. After a polite amount of time standing around trying to pretend I was having fun, I attempted to excuse myself (I was having a small Christmas party that evening and I really wanted to get home and prepare) but this guy did the typical girl shopping thing: "just 5 more mins, I promise and we can leave together..." I was hoping that he would come with me so I could get him to carry some groceries from the store. So, I sucked it up and waited for TWO MORE HOURS for him standing outside the store in the cold.

Finally we headed back home and right before we got to the grocery store, he ran off into ANOTHER store to just "have a look." So, I ended up carrying all the alcohol and groceries by myself anyway. Amazingly I managed not to turn this into an argument. Unusual for me. I guess I really did want this to work out...

The other notable event of the weekend involved a fish bone. That's right. A fish bone. Before his flight, we went to the pub for a traditional British dish of Fish and chips. And the guy chokes on a fish bone! Ok seriously, this guy is into adventure travel and has pictures of himself standing next to lions and stories about all kinds of crazy adventures in Africa and other places, and he manages to get a fish bone stuck in his throat and almost die in a pub in London (ok I don't think he was near dying but there was a actual discussion of whether or not going to the hospital was necessary)! If you have never seen someone choke on a fish bone let me tell you, it's not a pretty site. There he was coughing, choking, turning red, making loud gagging sounds, spitting and generally disrupting everyone else in the pub. I was verging between trying no to laugh, being embarrassed, losing my apptite, being concerned, and just being ready for him to leave. He finally coughed up the fish bone and then caught his flight.

But it was the second visit that turned catastrophic. I really didn't have any feelings for him but I when he sprung the second visit on me, I was feeling a bit down over my Ex - the Beautiful Swede - so in a moment of weakness I told him "yes" as I thought it would at least distract me a bit and if nothing else, at least we could be friends. By the time the trip actually came up, I realized that I could have done a good enough job distracting myself with the many men in London. I also realized that I really didn't want anything romantic with him and there was definitely going to be any physical intimacy between us (not that there had been much the first time anyway).

But I didn't have to worry about him trying to put the moves on me and me having to reject him because I was saved by the violent puking sickness. One minute he was fine and drinking champagne with my friend and I before we were to go to a club, the next minute he was puking his brains out. My friend and I being the sympathetic people we are went out with out him and had a blast meeiting other men.

I tried to feel bad for him, but I couldn't. Men are big babies when they are sick and having him moping about in my apartment all weekend was a real buzz kill - especially when I had a massive hangover and all I wanted to do was mope around on my couch without a pukey germy guy sitting next to me. I was also extremely worried about getting sick myself, I had a huge week at work the next week with a product launch that I'd been working around the clock to help pull off. This was not the week for me to be sick - the puking sickness is contagious in the extreme. So,I counted the hours until he left and shut the door behind him with a huge sigh of relief. I don't think I will be seeing him again. And I definitely don't hold it against my friend who set us up - she only had good intentions. But I think I will be very careful before throwing myself into another weekend with a man I hardly know. Famous. Last. Words.

Lessons learned

• Always go with your gut instinct when it comes to men


• If it didn't work out the first time, don't give it a second chance


• Don't make a first (or second date) with someone into an entire weekend - WAY too risky


• If you don't like to shop, don't date men who LOVE to shop


• Eat fish and chips very carefully and check for fish bones


• If a fish bone does get stuck in your throat, eat bread


• Sometimes, men just look better on paper


• Don't let your friends set you up

You Can't Be Friends With Your Ex

This euphoric feeling of relief and freedom gained from breaking away from my Ex - the Beautiful Swede continued throughout the month of December until Christmas. Then suddenly I was thrown back in to the old pattern of thinking about the Beautiful Swede and missing him. This was most likely due in part to the fact that I did spend a weekend with another Swede: The Swedish Adventurer, and over the course of that weekend, I realized that I didn't have half as much fun with the Adventurer as I did with my Beautiful Ex. And also in part due to the fact that the Ex and I began again to communicate via text and Google chat. Basically, for a breif delusional second, I actually thought that me and the Ex could be friends!

And then I went home to the US for Christmas and suddenly I found myself really missing the Ex. Last Christmas, the Beautiful Swede had come home with me. It was the beginning of our relationship and we had an amazing time together ringing in the New Year in NYC. He also came home with me this summer.

So, suddenly 'home' - my sanctuary, my escape from the rest of the world - became a reminder of the Ex. I found myself thinking a lot about "last year" and wishing he was there with me... It didn't help that he had met everyone in my entire family plus all my friends and it didn't make this easier that everyone had loved him. Family, friends, everyone was asking about him. So, I did what should never be done - I made contact with the Ex via the phone this time. And he told me he missed me too! And I believed him.

And just as I found myself once again planning a future for us, he told me that he was dating someone new and would be spending New Year's Eve with her. I was devastated. And enraged! Why did he keep trying to contact me? Why did he tell me how much he missed me? And how hard it was for him? How can he possibly be dating someone else? (Ok. I'm dating too but not anyone serious)!

And then all the insecurities began to surface... What if he has more fun with her than he had with me? What if she's prettier, smarter, funnier, cooler than I am? What if they have better sex? What if he likes her more than he liked me? What if she's the "one?" Ugh - see what I mean? I should not be allowed to talk to my Ex and he should not be allowed to contact me. It just sends me down a horrible destructive path and for no reason - at the end of the day, the fact that we are not right for each other still remains. So, why beat myself up over it? So, what if he likes her more than he liked me? So, what if she is prettier, cooler, smarter than me? So what if they get married and have beautiful children and live happily ever after? HE AND I ARE NOT MEANT TO BE. It's definitely time to move on.

So, I spent New Year's Eve as the only single person at a couple's party, missing my Ex and missing my friend's in Stockholm, feeling sorry for myself, and wondering if 2010 would really be a better year than 2009. And post New Year's the Ex and I had at least one more conversation where we said hurtful things to each other and did enough damage to ensure that friendship would never be an option. And then I spent a few more days moping around and then I got on a flight back to London and decided to really GET OVER IT.

So, we have resumed not speaking and I for the most part feel better. However, he of course is up to his old tricks, trying to contact me in various ways with silly messages like - I saw this and it made me think of you. And I have a new resolve to be strong and not fall for it, because I know that if I do respond to him, then I will be met with the same words again: "I miss you. But I'm dating someone else. It's time for you to move on."

Well all I can say now is I'm moving on: ON TO THE NEXT!