Thursday, August 26, 2010

Paying For Men

Ha! Got you!

Obviously, this is not what you think. I do not pay for sex with men - obviously. But today I did meet two hot men who I paid for their services. Well technically, I paid one of them and the other I agreed to pay next time we meet which by the way is next Thursday at 9.

I'm talking about my hairdresser and my personal trainer of course! What were you thinking?

It all started with a haircut at lunchtime. After my regular stylist left, my colorist had recommended me to a new one!. Little did I know he was the super hot hairdresser who I had been eyeing while I had my color done! Boy was fine.

I spent the entire time he was cutting my hair trying to figure out if he went for women or men. I decided women, although I wasn't totally sure. He spent the entire time flirting with me and also chopping off MOST OF MY HAIR INTO A CROOKED HAIRCUT!

I was so glamoured by him and his stupid boyish good looks that I didn't even notice that my hair was like 3 inches shorter and crooked until I got home. Damn! This is why you do not have a hot guy cut your hair! Way too dangerous. You get a little distracted and suddenly you have a freaking haircut like Pink!* And now I HAVE to go back and check him out again make him fix it.

The second guy came as a surprise. It's been pouring rain here in London for days (seriously, London weather is living up to its reputation - while the rest of Europe and even Russia has had an amazing summer, London has never been more cold and miserable) so I decided to hit the gym rather than brave the rain and run as I usually do. The thing is, I hate the gym. Actually, I just kind of hate this gym I go to in London. And if the weather is good, I would rather be out running.

So, there I am all sweaty and grumpy working the elliptical machine like a mad woman when a trainer comes along and starts a conversation with me.

Let me tell you, I was SO not in the mood. 95% of me wanted to tell him to "Leave me alone! Yes, I know that I could be working out harder and that you could show me cool moves that kill my body and make me look better but I DON'T CARE. I want to read my magazine and do my shitty work out in peace."

The other 5% of me knew that I've been slacking on my workouts lately, not pushing myself hard enough and feeling totally uninspired and unmotivated. Say nothing of the fact that I've spent the entire summer drinking and indulging and my clothes are feeling a little bit tighter than they should and I've really been meaning to get back on track...

Because I'm a total masochist, I of course listened to the annoying 5% of me and let the trainer lure me away from my boring but easy work out and magazine. Plus, he was kind of hot. So, what the hell?

An hour later as sweat poured off me and I marveled at the fact that my legs were for some reason no longer supporting my weight properly, I found myself agreeing to book 6 more sessions with him at 50 GBP a pop! (Today's session was free at least).

So, back to the topic of this blog. Yes, it seems that I do PAY FOR MEN. In fact, it seems I pay quite a lot for men.

The haircut plus the hair revitalizing treatment he gave me plus the 2 products he convinced me to buy came to 89 GBP (and that's with a 20% discount I somehow negotiated cuz I'm good like that). And it was 300 GBP for the 6 personal trainer sessions...

So, in total today I paid men 389 GBP.** And as I noted before, I do not pay pay for sex with men (obvously) but you could theoretically say that I've just paid both of these men to make me more sexy so that I can potentially have sex with more men. Hmm... Interesting way to look at it huh? Sorry... I'm I have low blood sugar after that work out. I may not be thinking clearly... So, let me know if that logic is totally off.

All I can say is OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! WTF MY QUADS HAVE NEVER HURT SO BADLY! No, for real. I'm whimpering and laughing at the same time every time I try to move. It's pathetic. And it's bound to get worse before it gets better. Tomorrow morning is not going to be fun.

And next week the Trainer says he will give me a "real workout.: Oh what have I gotten myself into? This hot trainer guy better make me look freaking awesome.

So thank you hot men that I pay for for giving me a crooked haircut and making it so I can no longer walk.


*I'm totally exaggerating as usual. It's not quite as short as Pink's hair. Actually, I think it's probably a good deal longer. It might still be classified as long hair. It is still below my shoulder. But it is short to me and I'm pretty sure it's definitely crooked.

**Do NOT - I repeat - DO NOT translate this into dollars. And if you do, do not tell me how much money that is in dollars cuz I think it's kind of a LOT of money in dollars. I will try to not think about it. Instead I will focus on how awesome I am going to look after my super expensive training sessions. And I will try to remind myself that my poor poor long hair that is now so so much shorter, probably really needed to be cut off in order to be healthy and look more beautiful in the future (or that's what the hot hairdresser tried to tell me when I almost started to cry). Sob!

1 comment:

Sara Louise said...

389GBP! Ouch! At least they were pretty to look at