Dating Update and a Challenge

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I'm not sure exactly what I was thinking... but I did think that it would be easier to meet men when I moved home. I'm not really sure where I got this idea from although I think that the following thought process did take place:

While living abroad, I found it hard to meet men because I was so transient. I was always jetting off somewhere for work. It made it hard to date someone cuz when I met them I would be like, I'm off to Asia, then the US and then Sweden and I'll be back in 3 weeks so how does that sound? Umm... yup. It sounded crazy. Men found it intriguing but not really conducive to dating. On top of that I worked long long hours and didn't have a lot of free time to devote to dating.

I also heard from numerous men that I gave off a strong sense that I was not ready to settle down. I was pretty open about the fact that I wasn't ever sure when work would move me next (i.e. don't get too comfortable with me boys, cuz I'm not here for good). I was also open with the fact that job aside, I wasn't really sure that Sweden (and definitely not London) was going to be the place I called home for the rest of my life. I was pretty sure I wanted to live in the US again at some point for some time. I heard from multiple men multiple times that these things were a bit of a turn off or at least a deterrent for a long-term serious relationship. Believe it or not, most men weren't really up to switching continents for me.

Another thing that had a big impact on me and my reasoning on it will be easy to find a guy if I move home, was that a good Swedish friend of mine who moved to London decided to move back to Sweden and she instantly met the love of her life. Her happiness, her awesome new relationship and her outlook on the whole thing caused me to take a look around at my friends and I realized that when they made positive changes to their lives, positive things happened to them. I thought that for me making the positive change to move back to Boston and cutting the cord on The Company controlling where I lived, that this would be it.  I would finally find my positive place and positive things would start to happen to me. I would finally be in a place where I could meet someone.

So, I guess I thought it would be easier. Instead, it's been harder than ever! I'm in a SERIOUS dry spell here people! Other than a ego-deflating and embarrassing dalliance with a co-worker that I can't really blog about (I have to say though that I think I'm still a bit stung from this one) and the random boy on New Year's Eve (who I was supposed to see again until he called me a million times and I got freaked out and told him to never contact me again - yup that's how awesome my life is), there have been NO men in my life since the hot but brief British country-side romance in September. Four months ago. Ugh.

Every day I feel a little bit more like an Old Maid - the only single girl left in the pile (even I'm Attractive Single Friend C is potentially off the market). It's kind of freaking me out. Especially since I have almost no single wingmen (or women as it may be) to go out and cause trouble with. Clearly, it was time to take drastic measures. So, I finally switched over my Match.com account to the US one.

I swear that I went in with a good level of optimism, but I have to say that I'm totally unimpressed.

First of all, I'm not getting nearly as much attention as I did while on the International Match site. I'm not exactly sure why.

Second of all, the men in Boston do not seem to be that hot or that interesting. And most of them are short. I mean really short. Like 5'8 short. Ugh.

Third of all, the men I wink at, don't wink back at me! (Which I guess is a similar statement to point number one).

Here are the sad statistics so far: 

Number of days on Match: 7

Profile Viewed: 854 times

Winks Received: 58

Winks Sent: 17

Reciprocal Winks: 3

Emails Received: 22

Emails Sent: 2*

Someone please tell me. What am I doing wrong? I'm trying to figure it out.

My London profile got a lot of attention - so much so that I couldn't keep up (I would sometimes get over 100 winks a day). Maybe it's because that site was better** (i.e. more technologically advanced and more user friendly) or maybe there were more men on it. I'm not sure... I guess it would make sense as London is obviously a much bigger city than Boston. But, essentially my profile and pictures are the same (with just a few updates -i.e. I'm no longer an American living in London).

Or maybe my strategy is off. I wink at men, but I'm kind of shy. I usually let them email me first. So, if I wink and nothing happens, I just let it go. I know it's silly but I still kind of want the men to make the first move. Although again, this was the strategy I had on the International Match and it worked out ok.

Or maybe it's because my profile is to harsh. Because I got so much attention on that International site -and mostly from the wrong type of guys (lots and lots of them with half-naked pictures), I felt like I had to try to put up some boundaries so after spending at least an equal amount of page space describing myself, I wrote the following - which did help a little bit - but maybe it's a bit too harsh for the US? What do you think? It's not really deterring the short or old men anyway...

I'm looking for a guy who is interesting and interested. Someone spontaneous and ambitious who is not afraid of adventure. Someone who is up for partying all night but doesn't mind staying in reading a book in bed. Someone who is open-minded, interested in traveling and could see themselves living abroad. Someone who is active and wouldn't mind going for a run on the beach or hitting the gym with me. Someone who challenges me and has something to teach me. Motivation and curiosity are definately sexy. 

I have a thing for tall men. If you are under 6 feet tall, it's not going to work. If you post pictures of yourself bare chested posing in front of the mirror, you are also probably not my type. And I prefer younger men (in general younger than me). So... men over 36 sorry... most likely, not going to happen.

And by the way, I can't cook so it's better if you do..

Anyway, I think it's time for some drastic measures. Life Begins at Thirty - a fellow blogger in London - had an interesting idea by issuing a dating challenge. She asked her readers to suggest ways for her to meet men and then she composed a list of dating challenges she would try out and then write about her experience. Her idea is a good one. I think I'm going to steal it. So, what do you think? What kind of dating challenges would you propose for me? How should I meet men?

*I responded to two men who wrote to me. The first never wrote me back a second time. The second, well we'll see. I just wrote him back an hour ago.

**A couple years back the International Match or the UK one at least and the US one split and they are actually really different from each other now. The International Match is much better.

Sunday Funday

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I was supposed to have a quiet weekend this weekend. I was supposed to be gearing up for a big detox that was supposed to quick start today.

I was supposed to go to a baby shower in New Hampshire and then come home and go to the gym, go to the grocery store, write an interesting blog post, and talk to my parents.

It  had been an unusually uneventful weekend. I had gone to dinner with a colleague on Friday night and was home early and I had stayed in on Saturday night. Sunday was supposed to be a calm end to a calm weekend that was suppossed to kickoff a calm two weeks of detoxing and being healthy before a trip to London and Stockholm which is bound to be madness and full of indulgence.

But oh no... This International Woman of Mystery couldn't handle a calm weekend! Especially when faced with the prospect of the next weekend being calm as well! This International Woman of Mystery fell subject to peer pressure and ended up participating in Sunday Funday and spending NINE hours in a bar on Sunday night skipping the gym and then skipping Boot Camp in the morning and coming to work grumpy and hungover.

I blame a lot of people for my misbehavior, my lack of gym going, the fact that I didn't make it to Boot Camp and the fact that I'm HUNGOVER today. Let me give you the rundown.

First, let me start by blaming the baby shower. The baby shower where NO COCKTAILS were to be found! I wasn't really planning to drink a lot a the shower. I was driving. But I wouldn't have minded 1 drink. A bloody mary or a mimosa would have done the trick. Stopped the craving. Kept the alcoholic monster that lives inside me at bay. But alas, there was no alcohol to be found at the baby shower. WTF? And the ugly alcoholic monster reared its ugly head.

Next, I blame Hot Married Friend L (who didn't have to work today - lucky girl) who took full advantage of the in-satiated alcoholic monster that lives within me and convinced me that we needed "just one drink." I mean after all.... we did just survive a long baby shower with NO ALCOHOL. (And, let's face it, no matter how you look at it, baby showers are just not that fun).

"I'm going to the gym." I told her.

"Don't you have boot camp tomorrow?" She asks. "You can skip the gym tonight and make up for it tomorrow." I made a face. "Or, you can have just one drink and go to the gym later." Famous. Last Words.

Hot Married Friend L dropped the subject after that but no matter how I looked at it, the thought of a cold spicy bloody mary was just way more appealing then the sweaty smelly gym. And as we got back to Boston, I found myself pulling up to my favorite local "tavern." "Just one drink," I told her. Famous. Last Words.

One drink of course turned into just one more drink and just one more drink and just one more... Next I blame the Patriots (there are an awful lot of people blaming the Patriots today). First, I blame the Patriots packing the bar with people and making an interesting atmosphere. Second, I blame the Patriots for losing (thank you Tom Brady for that stunning loss) because of course then we had to drink some more.

Then, I blame the table next to us for catching us as we put on our jackets and were getting ready to leave at a rather acceptable hour. I blame them for inviting us to play a card game with them and then I blame them for continuing to order more and more drinks.  And before we knew it, it was MIDNIGHT and we had been at the bar since 3:00! Isn't it amazing how time flies when you are getting drunk.

Next, I blame The Company for not having MLK day as a holiday! Because if it had been a holiday today, then the whole day would have been a whole lot better. And I could have really enjoyed my Sunday Funday without feeling guilty or dealing with a work hangover (those are the worst, I usually try to avoid them).

Most of all I blame the alcoholic monster that lives inside me for once again overpowering the health nut that I think still lives there as well (although it is possible he drowned in a pool of alcohol).

And finally I blame I'm Attractive Single Friend C who is SUPPOSED to be detoxing with me this week but has just sent me a text to say "I'm craving a drink." Not helpful C. Not helpful at all.

I'm standing strong though. I'm not drinking until the 27th when I'm scheduled to leave for London. (I'm hoping if I say that out loud enough times, I will convince myself that I can do it).

So, thus begins day one of a 10 day detox of no alcohol and healthy eating while I attempt to revive the health nut and nurture him back to health so he can stand up to the alcoholic monster and sometimes (at least 50% of the time) win the battle.

Unfortunately, the bagel this morning was necessary to soak up the alcohol in my stomach (for some reason we managed to be at a bar for nine hours without eating dinner) but that was it... Now it's only healthy boring foods and water and tea. I had a big salad for lunch. Baby steps. Baby steps.

But please forgive me if I'm extremely grumpy these next days while I'm cultivating the health nut and reducing the strength of the alcoholic monster.

What did you do this weekend? Did you have a Sunday Funday too? Or did your inner health nut triumph over the alcoholic monster?

New Year's Eve

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New Year's Eve and I are not really friends. Every year I dread this night as I listen to friends make fabulous plans and realize that I don't have fabulous plans of my own. Every year I fret about what to do and who to do it with, what to wear... and almost every year it comes down to the last minute and I have no real plans.

And unfortunately, New Year's Eve is also a couples night. If you are in a relationship, you obviously hang out with that person. For those of us not in a relationship... well, New Year's Eve becomes much harder.

But seriously? Is New Year's Eve not the most hyped up night ever? I mean at the end of the day, it's just a night like every other night. But for some reason, there is this need for it to be perfect, and memorable and magical and whatever other bullshit adjective you can think of.

I've had some good New Year's Eves in the past... although not many. I often spend the night with my brother and I have to say that I always have fun with him. When we were children we used to spend it with our "Other Brother" (i.e. the son of my parent's best friends who we spent lots of time with as children). They would get us a baby-sitter and buy us party hats and decorations and the poor babysitter would then have to deal with us running around the house and making noise until after midnight.

Memorable New Years including ringing in the New Year with my brother in San Fransisco which was fun because I made him buy like $100 of NYE party decorations just like when we were little and we drank LOTS of champagne and the best part was "Other Brother" was even there to celebrate with us as he lives in San Fran (you might remember his wedding this summer) so it was just like old times but with alcohol which obviously made it more fun.

I have also rung in the New Year in New York City with my brother and the Beautiful Swede where we spent way too much money on a hotel room and a party although I still kind of think it was worth it cuz it was reall fun.

There was a New Years' spent in China with the Scottish boy. Let me tell you - Sooooo anti-climactic since Chinese do not even celebrate it. We actually were in a taxi when it turned midnight although we didn't notice until later. I then proceeded to sleep for 2 hours on the bar (jet lag - I had arrived from the US that morning) and then get in a massive fight with the Scottish boy for allowing me to sleep in the bar for 2 hours rather than doing the right thing and taking me home. "You were having fun!" he said.

I spent a much better New Year's with the Scottish Boy in Scotland where we stayed in a castle (this was my first experience staying in a castle long before this became a regular occurrence in my life - seriously, I have stayed in at least 3 castles in the last 7 months - although obviously those days are over as there are no castles in Boston) Actually, this was probably the best New Year's Eves ever as we just stayed in and had a cozy fire and the Scottish boy cooked me a romantic dinner (and I pretended to help) and then we had champagne and took a bubble bat - bubbles and bubbles: my favorite combination.

Last year however was a tough one as I was still getting over the Beautiful Swede who had been nice enough to inform me that he "really missed me" but he had a date for New Year's Eve (this was exactly 2 days before I decided never ever to speak with him again), so I spent New Year's Eve moping, missing him and being the only single person at a couples party in Connecticut.

This year I thought about totally skipping New Year's altogether. Flight tickets for Sweden were too expensive and with a project launching at work, it wasn't really an option. And as most of my friends these days seem to be married and having kids and even my single partner-in-crime I'm Attractive Single Friend C had a date with a guy nicknamed McSteamy (seriously, who has a first date on New Year's Eve - that's I'm Attractive Single Friend C for you though and from what I hear it was definitely steamy), I once again had no plans.

Luckily a new friend, Gorgeous Single N, invited me along with her friends who were planning to go for dinner at Harvard Gardens.

And since Gorgeous Single N was nice enough to let me borrow her friends for the night, I decided to invite the group over to my apartment to pre-game it before going to dinner (luckily I was not too hungover from my escapades the night before). Of course, as this was New Year's Eve, I decided that this should be a classy affair with shrimp cocktail and champagne (because that's how I roll). So, a random group of New Year's Eve single misfits gathered at my house. We were a motley crew for sure as many of us observed throughout the night. While some of our group new each other closely, most of us knew just one other person. It was all a bit random but that's what made it all kind of fun.

One of the women brought a huge bag full of party hats and decorations and noisemakers. She called this "flair" which I've never heard it called before but I thought it was a fantastic name! And I was so happy since it reminded me of New Year's Eves past. I LOVE "flair" and I'm usually the one to bring it but had forgotten about it this year so I was really glad that someone else had thought of it. 

Example of "flair"
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Highlights of the night include:

• Walking into Harvard Gardens wearing our New Year's Eve party hats and "flair" and making lots of noise with noisemakers so that everyone else was starting at us
• Our table that was literally "created" for us on the dance floor so we were literally sitting in the center of a busy restaurant (this was due to us booking late and continuing to add more people)
• Being the loudest and the most obnoxious table at the restaurant with all our noisemakers and party favors
• Bringing our own New Year's Eve Centerpiece with us to the restaurant (courtesy of me from a NYE party I hosted in Sweden - yes, I apparently carry party decorations around the world with me).
• Handing out noisemakers to the children at the table next to ours (I'm sure their parents were thanking us)
• An engaged man in hot pursuit of a girl in our group (Seriously? Are all men assholes? Or are all men just totally stupid? I mean why announce right off the bat that you are engaged then pursue her all night? At least lie!) 
• A whole slew of boring men that took turns talking to the girls in our group including the obnoxious investment banker and the over-enthusiastic marathon runner whose goal in life was to run a marathon on all 7 continents
• The unfortunate appearance of Gorgeous Single N's ex-boyfriend (there was no stalking going on, just a sad coincidence - I mean who wants to be stuck at a bar with your ex on New Year's Eve)
• The fact that Gorgeous Single N's ex-boyfriend has been such a jerk to her that several girls in our group had to go up and give him a piece of their mind and stick up for their girl(he was a big JERK - so much so that I might have to blog about it later when I write an inevitable blog about why all men are assholes)
• An unmemorable count down with no fun boys to kiss at midnight
• The appearance of a cute boy later who made up for the lack of kisses at midnight
• An after party at my place (further endearing me to my neighbors I'm sure)
• Having a fun night with other single people

And while I can't say that it was the best New Year's Ever, I can say that it turned out to be a random and fun night and I made some new friends. Thanks to Gorgeous Single N and all her awesome friends for making it so great!

Happy New Year to everyone! I'm looking forward to hear how you spent the end of 2010 and what you have in store for 2011!

Clearly this next week will be about reflections and resolutions. Stay tuned!

XOXO

One Night in Boston

Let me please preface this blog by saying that I'm Attractive Single Friend C put me up to this. And by this, I mean this blog post.

She felt our night was blog worthy. And while I couldn't totally disagree... I felt that this night was more sleep worthy than anything else***, but because she's awesome, and I love her, well I'm humoring her. And at the same time, I'm offering you dear blog friends a disclaimer - I might be a little more than tipsy while writing this. If you disapprove, stop reading and come back tomorrow. I'll be sober then. If not... well keep on reading!

So, back to tonight. Let me start by saying, I wish that I could leave work at 4:00 every day. Today we had an early dismissal at 3:00 but because I'm awesome, I stayed until 4:00. And then I found time to do healthy things like run for an hour before embarking on a weekend of drinking. Seriously. It was a good thing.

At 8:00 pm I found myself meeting I'm Attractive Single Friend C and Hot Married Friend S at the Liberty Hotel for dinner at Scampo. Dinner progressed as dinner between girls should with lots of sex talk and a discussion on whether or not I should throw a sexy lingerie (i.e. you have to wear lingerie) party here for Valentine's Day (I have done this with much success in Stockholm although was met with much resistance from the girls here - we'll surely come back to this topic). We got through dinner without much weirdness unless you count the guy next to us wanting to "borrow" a breadstick from us.

Next, we decided to explore the bar scene.  I'm Attractive Single Friend C and Hot Married Friend S quickly deemed downstairs Clink to be "too crowded" so we headed upstairs to the equally crowded but more spacious bar space there. After a small altercation at the bar where by innocently speaking to the guy at the bar next to me, I managed to bring on the intense wrath of his wife, I'm Attractive Single Friend C had a great idea to sit down in some empty chairs but suddenly a waif-like waitress came up and forcefully removed us by assuring us that "Ryan" who had reserved the table was on his immediate way and we could absolutely not sit there for one single second longer.

So we humored the waitress and got up and then we watched "Ryan's group" enter. They appeared to be a young group of Douch Bags. * And they seemed extremely drunk. It was seconds before they were talking to us. I think that their entry conversation had to do with something about if we saw someone spit on someone else. I kid you not - it was that bad.

I'm Attractive Single Friend C, being the mature person that she is, suggested that we leave immediately but for some reason (perhaps my own immature inclination to stay) we didn't do such a thing and instead remained and soon found the absurdness of "Ryan's Group" deteriorate into further hilariousness that we couldn't help but to appreciate and participate in.

Ok - so what that they were average age of 24 and we told them that it would be impossible that we could be no older than 28? And so what that I figured out who "Ryan" was and even though he claimed to live in London and was kind of cute but he ended up being a total DB?** So what if they were amusing themselves by hitting each other? So what if this one bald guy was begging us not to leave because he was only 26 and we were definitely not that older than him? So what if we decided to end the shenanigans early (much to my dismay) and move on somewhere else? So what if that somewhere else should have been home (tomorrow night being New Year's Eve and all)? So what if we instead went to Harvard Gardens, the Hill and the 21st Amendment? So what if we drank 3 drinks at the 21st Amendment?

SO WHAT?

I'll tell you SO WHAT? It was a funny night. I laughed and I laughed and I laughed A LOT. But now it's after 2:00 and I'm home and I'm a little more drunk than I wanted to be and I'm not really looking forward to New Year's Eve. That's what's SO WHAT!

*Note that it was not me who described them in such a way. I'm still not comfortable enough here in the USA to use the terms Douch Bag although it does seem widely spread.
**DB = Douch Bag (doesn't it sound better)?
***Editor's note the day after - I have NO idea what I meant by this. And there are a few other sentence constructions that don't work out very well either. Sorry!

A Visit From Nomad Boy

I know you are all waiting for an update on my weekend with Nomad Boy.

I wish that I could give you a hot and steamy update and tell you that the International Woman of Mystery and Nomad Boy are totally meant to be! I wish I could tell you that it was the most awesome weekend of my life and that I can't wait to see him again.

Unfortunately... the only thing I can say about this weekend is that it was a border-line disaster. Nomad Boy and I just weren't on the same page at all. He has not really matured or progressed since the last time we saw each other. I hate to say it, but he's kind of a loser with no job, no money, and a whole lot of bad luck following him around. And while he might still be beautiful and a bit mysterious and in some moments, he still makes my heart flutter like it did when I was a teenager, I'm way to old and practical for a guy like that.

To summarize - it was DISAPPOINTING - to say the least. On my way home from dropping him off, I called  I'm attractive single friend C for a bitch session and for the first time in my life bemoaned the fact that unfortunately, I'm not attracted to women because that is how DONE I feel with men right now. This disappointment stacked on top of another one that I'm not ready to blog about has done me in. I am DONE WITH MEN!

I don't want to drag you through all the gory details nor do I want to virtually re-live the weekend (I already feel sad that it's one weekend that I will never get back).

But to give you some insight into what went down, I will leave you with the following list:

Dear Nomad Boy - here is what NOT TO DO when visiting any hot girl that you haven't seen in years:

• Do not not have a phone - it's just annoying and makes meeting up with you and coordinating things that much more frustrating
• Do not not have a winter jacket. Seriously. Especially if you grew up in New England - it's December in Boston - it's freaking cold. You should know that.
• Do not tell me that we should do fun things like go ice skating and walk around Boston and get me all excited as those are exactly the things that I want to do and then get here and decide it's too cold to leave the apartment (well, of course it's cold if you don't have a winter jacket).
• Do not sit around like a total stoner all weekend watching mindless You Tube videos and smoking and trying to get me interested in what you are watching. I might humor you but it's not how I really want to spend my time.
• Do not criticize Boston and tell me that you could NEVER live there - especially after I have expressed to you that I'm feeling a bit freaked out about having just moved back.
• Do not keep turning up my heat as high as it can go every time I turn around - I have to pay for that shit! Some of us have adult lives with adult responsibilities and bills...
• Do not let me pay for the bill every time and then call me "Sugar Mama."
• Do not wake up at 7:00 in the morning (after going to bed at 4) and try to convince me to have sex with you (when I'm obviously not feeling it) and then keep me awake. Seriously. I have a job and I need to sleep on the weekends! 3 hours sleep is totally not sufficient and it throws me off for the rest of the week!
• Do not pick random fights with me in the bar just to pick a fight
• Do not purposefully try to make me feel bad by criticizing me about little things such as being with one company for 10 years and implying that this makes me less attractive on the job market when you do not even have a job at a all!
• Do not pick fights with me about topics involving my line of work and then tell me that there is no way that I can  possibly know more on the subject than you even though you have no way to back up your argument.
• Do not instigate drama in any way - why would you do that? Who wants to fight?  Not me!
• Do not talk about all the bad relationships you've had in the past (although the inevitable drama and fighting parts of the story were at least insightful and made me realize that this is probably a pattern with you and probably has very little to do with me).
• Do not tell me that I'm acting weird and "psychotic" when I'm being quiet because I'm upset at the way you are treating me and I'm secretly wishing you would leave. I'm sorry that I chose to be quiet rather than to fight back and engage you in a fight. Fighting with you just seemed pointless and worthless. You just weren't worth it to me. I decided to endure and be rid of you rather than fight back.
• Do not make me drive you to Worcester to meet your father who you have also made drive to Worcester from W. Mass to get you - there is a perfectly fine bus going between here in W. Mass. I have taken it many times. For someone who has no money and no job... I don't think you should feel that you are so above that.
• If I do decide to give up most of my Sunday evening and drive you to Worcester, do not criticize my driving and generally be mean to me during the car ride
• If I do decide to drive you to Worcester, do not forget the address of where we are supposed to meet your father, and if you do forget it, do not get mad with me for not being able to find the place (especially when you had never told me the address in the first place)
• And after all that, do not jump out of the car and forget to thank me after I drive you all the way to Worcester (a 2 hour and 45 minute trip since I spent forever driving around in Worcester trying to find the place and another 30 minutes trying to find parking when I got back to Boston).

Unfortunately, that is the list. All those things really happened. And that list probably doesn't even scratch the surface... I'm blocking out everything else out. Clearly he is self centered, selfish and lacks any kind of manners... My biggest regret is now my beautiful memories of him will be tainted by this horrible weekend.

Despite feeling a bit beaten up by men... I'm trying to look on the bright side. Look forward rather than backwards.

I have a new work friend - super sexy A and she has promised to finally introduce me to some Boston nightlife/men this weekend. I can't wait! It will truly be my first weekend in Boston where I don't have tons of commitments. I can't wait to get out and explore the city, do some shopping, check out the Christmas lights etc. Ok in reality, we might be doing more checking out the Boston nightlife than anything else which means I might be hiding out in my bed hungover during the day. But even that would be an improvement over last weekend with Nomad Boy!

So, while I feel like I'm done with men... I guess I'm not totally ready to give up yet. Let's see what the weekend has in store.

Random Updates from an International Woman of Mystery

So, since I haven't had much time to blog lately, there is a lot I need to update you all on - including my Halloween adventure and costume choice!

So, this blog is going to totally lack any structure (as if my normal posts are so full of structure anyway) and I'm just going to tell you what's been going on and what's on the mind of this International Woman of Mystery!

So, here are my random updates:

On Halloween

The costume choice for Halloween ended up being...Drumroll please....

THE VINTAGE NURSE!

So, the vintage won out over the sexy firewoman - but mostly because I got the costume on and couldn't be bothered to change again. Both were pretty good outfits and Crazy Sexy Friend S was not very helpful as she liked them both too and made me change them back and forth until I got tired and went with the Nurse one because that was what was on!

Halloween weekend ended up being fun but not really over-the-top. Actually, I found it pretty overwhelming to be out and about and meeting new people and trying to adjust to American culture - especially after a long week at work of trying to remember names.

Friday at work was total Halloween madness. Some of my colleagues were in full on furry animal suits! Yikes!

I decided to do my part in dressing up. I wore a white dress and a halo and wings and my colleague wore devil horns and we were The Forces of Good and Evil. It worked and was kind of cute. At least that's what people told us.

The day was full of candy and sugar highs and culminated in a Halloween parade and costume competition followed by drinks at the bar. The bar was packed and I stayed for awhile drinking with colleagues whose names I for the most part couldn't remember, before heading out to another bar to dance to some live music. I made my way home around midnight - totally exhausted.

And the next day I woke up with a HANGOVER. Ugh. That's what happens when you drink 5 beers and do not eat dinner. A late afternoon run shook away most of the hangover. And then it was time to get ready for Halloween take II.

Crazy Sexy Friend S went hiking on the day of the party and managed to twist her ankle. So she was not in top form. Crazy Sexy Friend S lives in South Boston (aka Southie) so I went over to her hood. We started off at a pretty low key house party which was nice but there were not too many people there - and definitely no hotties.

We then moved on to a crazy huge party at a certified bachelor pad. This apartment was home to 5 men and had an HUGE INDOOR pool. It was a scene for sure. Lots of people. Lots of crazy with people cannonballing into the pool. But Crazy Sexy Friend S wanted to leave. And she kept asking me if I was having fun. And while the scene was interesting, it's kind of hard to really have "fun" when you don't know anyone and you know your friend wants to leave. So, we decided to call it a night.

On 6 am Boot Camp Class

Because it's totally normal that when you are in the middle of a move and feeling a bit out-of-shape that you sign up for a 16 session 6 am boot camp class to whip you back into shape. Oh wait? It's not normal? It's in fact absolutely insane? Oh yeah... Right. I wish someone had told me that BEFORE I payed $250 to be tortured every morning.

It hasn't helped that it rained poured 2 of the 4 mornings so far. On the first day, it was absolutely pouring down and really windy. As I lay on the cold wet ground doing sit ups with the rain splashing on my face... well, let's just say that I couldn't wait to come back the next day! ha ha...

Actually, it's not that bad. Physically it's challenging - but in a good way. Nowhere near as hard as the British Military Fitness I attended in London (which was good - I have back problems and as they didn't emphasize form or structure, I was too afraid of getting hurt).

And it's good for me to actually do something for myself. Since I have graduated college and started working for The Company, I have never ever done something like take a class. With my crazy work and travel schedule, I wasn't able too. Life was too unstable. So, I'm happy to be doing something for myself. Let's just hope the results pay off!

What was not such a good idea was starting this AND moving at the same time. Moving is rather physically challenging - especially since I live on the third floor. My body is so sore and exhausted right now. Friday was awesome because I actually got to sleep in. I never thought that sleeping until 8 am would feel like sleeping late!
Week one done - just 3 more weeks to go! Next week class meets every single week day!

On So Not Being a Morning Person

The most challenging thing about the Boot Camp is the fact that I'm so not a morning person! I never go to bed before midnight. I often don't go to bed until 2 am. I don't have to be at work until 9 and as I live close to work, this means I can get up at 8, or at the earliest 6:30 if I want to go for a run (although admittedly I tend to reach for the snooze button rather than my running shoes - which is why I'm torturing myself with the Boot Camp as it forces me out of bed).

So, getting up at 5:25 to be at Boston Commons by 6 fully dressed and stretched is a difficult one!

So, because of these EARLY mornings, I should really be in bed by 10 or 11 at the latest. But with all my trips to Ikea and building furniture and unpacking boxes, this has been a total FAIL this week. And therefore at work I've been completely exhausted yawning and barely able to keep my eyes open. Not fun! I really need to get myself on the early morning schedule!

However, it is kind of nice to be up that early. I'm back at my apartment by 7:10 and I can sit and have a coffee and read the news blogs and not have to worry about rushing around. I even managed to put together some Ikea furniture before work!

And as the work out is done in the mornings, I have my evenings free - which is nice. I can now meet people for drinks after work without feeling guilty about not going to the gym.

On living in America again

The transition is harder than I thought in some ways and easier than I thought in others.

I don't think it's hit me yet that I'm here for good. I still feel like I'm on vacation. And I've been so focused on the move and getting settled, that I haven't really been living. I have hardly been out of my apartment or office besides my trips to Ikea and Target. I haven't had any chance at all to explore Boston or the nightlife.

I have to say though that when I have a quick moment to reflect, I feel desperately homesick for Europe. I miss my friends and I feel far away from them.

I'm afraid that when all the manic craziness of the move is over, that I'm going to look around and want to pack up and leave again.

On the other hand, there are lots of nice things about being home as well. Boston is a beautiful city. And I have a pretty nice life here. My office is great. Life is comfortable. I have more friends around then I thought... It's pretty easy to live in the US (once you get past all the moving bull shit). Although I have never been one to go for "easy."

On my new neighborhood: Beacon Hill

This might be one of the most charming neighborhoods in the world! I can't wait to explore it more. But the gaslight streets and tiny brick roads make it seem so cozy and cute. And what a great location. Walking distance to everything in Boston! Whole Foods (the best and unfortunately the most expensive store ever) is right across the street. And it only takes me 15 mins to walk to work (bonus exercise) - good thing I bought that new car!

On the loudness of city living

The only downside is that it's LOUD living in the city. My apartment in London was really quiet.

In addition to the loud constant buzzing noise from a generator on the roof of the store next door, there is also a fire station less than a block down the street. So, the wailing of fire engines is now incorporated into the daily background noise of my life.

And speaking of fires and loud noises, I learned the hard way that the fan must be when you take a hot shower or else the fire alarm WILL go off. There is nothing like loud obnoxious beeping first thing in the morning when you are naked and soaking wet!

On Downsizing from a big two-bedroom to a tiny one-bedroom apartment

This is no fun at all. My London apartment was about twice the size of my new Beacon Hill one! Last Tuesday, moving men delivered 43 boxes from London. I could hardly even fit the boxes into the apartment. Luckily Super Dad came to the rescue and helped me unpack and put together the couch that was delivered. And I sent a whole carload of "stuff" home with him (much to my Mother's dismay).

On Ikea

Well, I've hardly had any time to miss Sweden since I've practically been LIVING at Ikea!

Seriously, that place sucks you in. I have been there 3 times in the past week.

And then you get the furniture home and you have to spend hours BUILDING it! I finally finished the last piece of furniture I had to build yesterday. My apartment now has a full  bedroom set plus a couch thanks to Ikea.

But at least my visits to Ikea got me a good dose of Sweden with some Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes and lingon berries. Yum!

On Dating

Moving alone is lonely. More than ever, I'm ready to find a man. Since the Hot British Writer (who I still think about way too much btw), I've been in a bit of a dry spell. I definitely feel like I'm missing intimacy at the moment.

However... the sad sad thing is, that I have not seen one attractive man since I've been home! I know. I know. I haven't exactly had time to be out on the prowl... but in Stockholm (the land of beautiful men), I would see hot men everywhere. The walk to work alone was great for hottie spotting!

As soon as I can manage to get settled, I need to switch my Match.com account back over to the American version and line up some dates (another good thing about working out in the morning, I have evenings free to do social things - once I get my apartment settled that is).

I'm also hoping that I'm Attractive Single Friend C will soon take me out on the town and teach me the Boston tricks!

Alright. I could go on forever. But I think that's enough of my random updates for now. I hope you all feel caught up on the life of an International Woman of Mystery.

Come back tomorrow for pictures of my new apartment!

An International Woman of Mystery's Awesome Guide to the Do and Do NOTS of moving

Guess what?

I'm baaaack!!!! Yay! I never meant to be away for so long. Moving is very very hard. Let me tell you. But I'm happy to say that I now have an apartment. And it even has a few pieced of furniture in it. Tomorrow I have 40 boxes (and no idea where I am going to put them) being delivered from London so I will finally have all my stuff! I will also get a couch delivered tomorrow.

I just have to say that these last couple weeks have been REALLY REALLY hard. I can't wait to put this all behind me and start living and enjoying life again and blogging on a regular basis. I have missed you all so much!

I have so much to update you all on. But let's start with a list that will give you some major insight as to what has been going on in my life.

The International Woman of Mystery's Guide to the DO's and DO NOTS of moving

Do NOT think that moving will be easy. Do not even think that it will not be that hard. Tell yourself it's going to suck and make sure you set your expectations right from the beginning.

DO try to keep a positive attitude even when it seems that life is working against you in every single way possible

If possible, DO NOT start a new job that is hard and difficult at the SAME time as you are moving. This will make your life very difficult.

DO NOT think that you will get a good deal (aka cheap apartment) in Beacon Hill.

DO NOT think that your Beacon Hill apartment will be big. It will not be. In fact you do not even want to calculate the rent per square foot. It might make you cry.

DO NOT constantly compare the small small one bedroom Beacon Hill apartment to your huge two bedroom London flat.

DO realize that your Beacon Hill apartment is actually nicer than your London one... just a LOT smaller.

DO be thankful for your walk in closets - remind yourself how rare this is in Beacon Hill (and try not to dwell on how much it all costs).

When looking at apartments, DO take note of important things like the fact that there is a loud generator outside of the bedroom window that creates a loud buzzing sound that is enough to drive you absolutely insane and will ensure that you will never ever be able to open the window. DO NOT sign a lease without checking up on that shit more than once!

DO NOT stress too much about it when you realize that the living room windows in your apartment look DIRECTLY into the windows of one of your married male colleagues (yes, awesome things like this happen to me).

DO take a strong note that you had better keep those shades locked down!

DO NOT expect that moving into an apartment that has NO furniture at all will be anything like moving into a completely furnished apartment. Believe me, it's a whole new ball game.


DO NOT sign up for a 6 am boot camp class (every single morning) when you are in the middle of a move.

DO NOT think that you will be able to have any form of a personal life or social life while you are in the middle of a move.

DO try to blog but do NOT beat yourself up if you cannot manage it because you are so tired that it's all you can do to keep your eyes open when you realize that it's midnight and you are nowhere near done with your to-do list and you think about opening up your computer but realize that nothing good is going to flow from your fingers to your blog. Seriously. Don't feel guilty. (I'm still working on this one).

DO ask your friends for help.

DO make sure you have a LOT of money. Moving is freaking crazy expensive.

DO have a really awesome friend like I'm Attractive Single Friend C who let's you stay at her place for a very long time and takes trips with you to Ikea and offer you lots moral support

DO have awesome parents who will help you in your time of need.

DO set a time limit for your Ikea trip. That store is MASSIVE. You could live there. Or at least stay there for forever.

DO have a list when going to Ikea - focus, focus, focus.

DO NOT go to Ikea 1 hour before it closes and expect to get a lot done (although I might have set a world record for being in and out in an hour with a full bedroom set

DO expect and plan to go back to Ikea more than once... It happens.

When the man delivering the mattress tells you that there is just no way he is going to get it up the stairs and is generally just being mean to you, DO start to cry. Believe me if there are enough tears, he will get that mattress up the stairs just to shut you up.

Do NOT expect any delivery or assembly men to come anywhere NEAR the time they tell you they are going to be there. Be prepared to wait around the house the ENTIRE weekend.

DO right mean yelp reviews of companies like Urban Express who really messed up your life by making a prisoner in your furniture-less apartment all weekend while you stood (because there is no furniture to sit on) around waiting for them to arrive for hours and hours just to finally find out (after you called them 5 times) that they will not make it until tomorrow - and then repeat the whole process.

DO NOT use the company Urban Express which is the company the Ikea in Stoughton, Ma uses for deliveries and assemblies (the delivery was ok, the assembly was a nightmare - I waited for the guys for about 10 hours in total and waited on the phone for 45 minutes talking to incompetent staff each of the 12 times I had to call them to check where the assembly guys were).

DO grin and bear it when the delivery men and assembly men call you "cute" nicknames like "beautiful" and "honey" - decide that if it makes them get shit done faster, it's worse a little degradation

DO try to see the humor in everything even when all you really want to do is cry and cry and cry

DO let yourself have a major breakdown on a Friday night when it all seems impossible and your are so miserable in your furniture-less apartment in a new city and are so homesick for Europe and your friends there.

DO try to wake up with a more positive attitude on Saturday morning

DO NOT think that you will not need a winter jacket in Boston in November. DO pack this in your things you are bringing with you.

DO NOT think that you will not need summer running clothes in Boston in October. Do remember that sometimes it is 70 degrees one day and 30 degrees the next day.

DO NOT think too much about Europe and all your friends there who you miss so much.

DO NOT freak out when you pull the Ikea furniture out of a box and you end up with 300 small pieces. This is normal. Take a deep breath. And then begin the long assembly process.

DO know that building Ikea furniture has a big learning curve. It does get easier. Although not that much easier.

DO NOT make fun of your father when he wears dorky knee pads to put together your furniture. DO remember that he is there to help.

DO covet your fathers kneepads (although still wonder why he needed to put them on in the street OUTSIDE your apartment where he then has to walk two blocks with them on) when you have been kneeling for 4 hours putting together furniture on the hardwood floor and have massive bruises on your knee

DO consider asking your father if you can borrow the kneepads... Although DO NOT even for a moment consider wearing them OUTSIDE the apartment.

DO NOT think twice about buying a wine opener even though one is eventually coming in your boxes from London. You are going to need a LOT of wine to get through this.

DO NOT think that it is a good idea to drink while putting together Ikea furniture. This will inevitably lead to big messes. Although DO consider drinking if it is the only way that you can convince yourself to stay at home on BOTH Friday and Saturday night and put together said furniture.

If you DO drink while putting together Ikea furniture (hey, sometimes it just has to be done) DO make sure you put aside some time the next day to fix all the stuff you put together wrong.

DO set a hard date on when you are determined to be finished with the move by having a housewarming party (mine is November 20th).

DO try not to stress about 40 boxes coming to your tiny apartment tomorrow! I will for sure update you and let you know how that goes.

And the number one piece of advice that this International Woman of Mystery has for all those other hot messes who are considering a move:

DO NOT MOVE ANYWHERE UNLESS YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND!

DO MAKE SURE THAT A BOYFRIEND IS ON HAND TO HELP YOU WITH THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL HEAVY LIFTING ASPECTS OF YOUR MOVE!

I promise to write again soon! I think I'm just about ready to be back to normal blogging (although this damn Boot Camp is sure not helping things) Miss you all!

Kisses and hugs and glasses of vino.