Dating Update and a Challenge

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I'm not sure exactly what I was thinking... but I did think that it would be easier to meet men when I moved home. I'm not really sure where I got this idea from although I think that the following thought process did take place:

While living abroad, I found it hard to meet men because I was so transient. I was always jetting off somewhere for work. It made it hard to date someone cuz when I met them I would be like, I'm off to Asia, then the US and then Sweden and I'll be back in 3 weeks so how does that sound? Umm... yup. It sounded crazy. Men found it intriguing but not really conducive to dating. On top of that I worked long long hours and didn't have a lot of free time to devote to dating.

I also heard from numerous men that I gave off a strong sense that I was not ready to settle down. I was pretty open about the fact that I wasn't ever sure when work would move me next (i.e. don't get too comfortable with me boys, cuz I'm not here for good). I was also open with the fact that job aside, I wasn't really sure that Sweden (and definitely not London) was going to be the place I called home for the rest of my life. I was pretty sure I wanted to live in the US again at some point for some time. I heard from multiple men multiple times that these things were a bit of a turn off or at least a deterrent for a long-term serious relationship. Believe it or not, most men weren't really up to switching continents for me.

Another thing that had a big impact on me and my reasoning on it will be easy to find a guy if I move home, was that a good Swedish friend of mine who moved to London decided to move back to Sweden and she instantly met the love of her life. Her happiness, her awesome new relationship and her outlook on the whole thing caused me to take a look around at my friends and I realized that when they made positive changes to their lives, positive things happened to them. I thought that for me making the positive change to move back to Boston and cutting the cord on The Company controlling where I lived, that this would be it.  I would finally find my positive place and positive things would start to happen to me. I would finally be in a place where I could meet someone.

So, I guess I thought it would be easier. Instead, it's been harder than ever! I'm in a SERIOUS dry spell here people! Other than a ego-deflating and embarrassing dalliance with a co-worker that I can't really blog about (I have to say though that I think I'm still a bit stung from this one) and the random boy on New Year's Eve (who I was supposed to see again until he called me a million times and I got freaked out and told him to never contact me again - yup that's how awesome my life is), there have been NO men in my life since the hot but brief British country-side romance in September. Four months ago. Ugh.

Every day I feel a little bit more like an Old Maid - the only single girl left in the pile (even I'm Attractive Single Friend C is potentially off the market). It's kind of freaking me out. Especially since I have almost no single wingmen (or women as it may be) to go out and cause trouble with. Clearly, it was time to take drastic measures. So, I finally switched over my Match.com account to the US one.

I swear that I went in with a good level of optimism, but I have to say that I'm totally unimpressed.

First of all, I'm not getting nearly as much attention as I did while on the International Match site. I'm not exactly sure why.

Second of all, the men in Boston do not seem to be that hot or that interesting. And most of them are short. I mean really short. Like 5'8 short. Ugh.

Third of all, the men I wink at, don't wink back at me! (Which I guess is a similar statement to point number one).

Here are the sad statistics so far: 

Number of days on Match: 7

Profile Viewed: 854 times

Winks Received: 58

Winks Sent: 17

Reciprocal Winks: 3

Emails Received: 22

Emails Sent: 2*

Someone please tell me. What am I doing wrong? I'm trying to figure it out.

My London profile got a lot of attention - so much so that I couldn't keep up (I would sometimes get over 100 winks a day). Maybe it's because that site was better** (i.e. more technologically advanced and more user friendly) or maybe there were more men on it. I'm not sure... I guess it would make sense as London is obviously a much bigger city than Boston. But, essentially my profile and pictures are the same (with just a few updates -i.e. I'm no longer an American living in London).

Or maybe my strategy is off. I wink at men, but I'm kind of shy. I usually let them email me first. So, if I wink and nothing happens, I just let it go. I know it's silly but I still kind of want the men to make the first move. Although again, this was the strategy I had on the International Match and it worked out ok.

Or maybe it's because my profile is to harsh. Because I got so much attention on that International site -and mostly from the wrong type of guys (lots and lots of them with half-naked pictures), I felt like I had to try to put up some boundaries so after spending at least an equal amount of page space describing myself, I wrote the following - which did help a little bit - but maybe it's a bit too harsh for the US? What do you think? It's not really deterring the short or old men anyway...

I'm looking for a guy who is interesting and interested. Someone spontaneous and ambitious who is not afraid of adventure. Someone who is up for partying all night but doesn't mind staying in reading a book in bed. Someone who is open-minded, interested in traveling and could see themselves living abroad. Someone who is active and wouldn't mind going for a run on the beach or hitting the gym with me. Someone who challenges me and has something to teach me. Motivation and curiosity are definately sexy. 

I have a thing for tall men. If you are under 6 feet tall, it's not going to work. If you post pictures of yourself bare chested posing in front of the mirror, you are also probably not my type. And I prefer younger men (in general younger than me). So... men over 36 sorry... most likely, not going to happen.

And by the way, I can't cook so it's better if you do..

Anyway, I think it's time for some drastic measures. Life Begins at Thirty - a fellow blogger in London - had an interesting idea by issuing a dating challenge. She asked her readers to suggest ways for her to meet men and then she composed a list of dating challenges she would try out and then write about her experience. Her idea is a good one. I think I'm going to steal it. So, what do you think? What kind of dating challenges would you propose for me? How should I meet men?

*I responded to two men who wrote to me. The first never wrote me back a second time. The second, well we'll see. I just wrote him back an hour ago.

**A couple years back the International Match or the UK one at least and the US one split and they are actually really different from each other now. The International Match is much better.

The Sexy Cop

So, there is this guy on Match.com that I had been writing back and forth with for awhile. He seemed to check the boxes: tall, dark, good-looking, "over-educated" (whatever that means), and to top it all off - he is a cop! And well let's face it, that's kind of hot! Right? We had been talking about meeting up for some time, but as usual I kept being a bit reluctant.

The thing is, as I have expressed before, I'm shy! I get super nervous to go out on dates. So, it takes a lot for me to work up to going out with someone. I don't know how some people can do it. It must be more natural or less stressful for them. I have friends who go on multiple dates per week with Internet matches. I can hardly manage multiple dates in a month.

BTW. If you want to meet a girl who totally knows how to rock a dating schedule - check out Date Me DC's fabulous blog. Her blog is what mine aspired to be before I realized that I neither had the time nor the energy and was too inclined to an overload of pre-date stress to date that much. But she does truly inspire me (and she writes a hell of a blog - so check her out)!

Unfortunately to add to my dating stress, going on a date inevitably involves taking the dreaded subway (or the Tube as they call it here). I think I honestly have a mild disorder. I'm actually sadly serious here. My friends might tell you that I don't take the subway because I think I'm too posh, but actually, it unfortunately goes much deeper than that.

I have never met anyone who dreads the subway more than me. The big factor is that I need space and I need control over my space. I can't stand being enclosed in small  areas with lots of pushing strangers (although oddly nightclubs and bars even when crowded are usually ok - Thank God). I do not like strange people touching me - even by accident. So, being way deep underground on the hot crowded subway with massive amounts of people packed into small fast moving cars with no escape from people rubbing up against me, well this folks is a nightmare for me. I actually have to count in my head the whole time I'm on the subway and mentally calm myself down.*

But really the fastest (and cheapest) way to Central London is to take the Tube and also I admit it does seem kind of snobby and overly posh to tell a guy you are meeting for the first time that you are arriving by taxi to meet him at the subway stop.

So, for this sexy cop, I braved the subway. Luckily it was not rush hour (like the last time I took the Tube and had a small panic attack and vowed to never take it again). So, it wasn't too crowded. I decided to stand as it was just 6 stops. The other reason I do not like the subway is that it gives weird people an opportunity to talk to you. Of course there was a guy standing across from me staring at me who eventually came over and told me that I was "absolutely stunning." Umm... Thank you kind stranger for totally being totally creepy (I moved away from him fast) but also for kind of boosting my confidence before a date. I mean, what woman doesn't want to be told they are "stunning." A compliment is a compliment even if coming from a weird looking track-suit wearing guy of indistinguishable age on the subway.

The Sexy Cop is standing there waiting for me when I exit the Tube station. I always find it so awkward to greet these "blind" dates! And trying to make small talk as you are walking to the "date place" is always a bit painful. To make matters worse, I'm wearing super high heels and we are walking on cobble stones and I'm teetering around and not doing a great job at keeping up the small talk because I'm trying not to fall on my ass!
We eventually make it to a wine bar. As we enter he asks me "You do drink, right?" And he looks relieved when I say "yes." But inside my head I'm actually screaming. "Yes please! Give me a drink now!! I just took the subway and walked over cobblestones in high heels. And I'm nervous to meet you! Yes, I want a damn drink."

Luckily, the drinks come quickly and we settle into a table and being the "first date conversation." But unlike with my last Match date, this one seems to go pretty smoothly. There is no awkwardness or hesitation. He kept up his end of the conversation extremely well. I was really interested to hear about the life of a British Police Officer.

But get this. This guy is no ordinary Cop. His self proclaimed "over education" that he mentioned on his profile... well how about a full on PhD IN ASTROPHYSICS no less! But he said that Academia bored him and working for NASA just didn't really get him going. So, he decided to trade it all in for the life of a London Police Officer.

And now he chases gang members in the bad "hoods" of London. Literally - on foot. He described endless foot chases to me. Do you know that in London, the cops don't even have guns? So, he basically chases gangsters with his baton. Crazy. But he seemed to love his job and it made for interesting conversation.

Anyway, we stayed for three drinks (I was a bit tipsy toward the end of the night) and we there were no awkward pauses or hesitations. All in all, it was a good to great date! Although, I'm not sure we really had any chemistry. And I definitely don't think we have a future. - his face kind of fell when I told him I was not staying in London much longer and he sent me a text message later that basically said: "Was nice to meet you. Good luck with your move." So, it doesn't seem like a second date is in the plans. But I was glad that I went on this date.

*You will be happy to know that I try not to let my subway phobia too drastically affect my life. I just need to live in walking distance of my work (been fine for the past 6 years) or driving distance as you do in the US. I will also tell you that I have been on some of the most crowded subways in the world including Moscow and Shanghai where there is literally someone whose job it is to "push" people in and pack them into the subway... So, I'm not totally dysfunctional. It's just better for me and everyone around me that I try to limit my subway use. And let's face it, I can afford the occasional taxi. So, it's so not a big deal.

Internet Dating Update

Whoa. I left my Match account alone this weekend and now have 64 unread emails since Friday night. What’s going on?

Including two emails from Dr. Manish. Who was begging me to contact him by providing me with mobile phone numbers and two email addresses. How can you even take someone seriously when they sign their emails “manish.” Gentlemen, a little advice, when you seem to desperate, it’s a turn off. One phone number or email address will suffice.

And why do men put lots of X’s in the emails. Like: hope to hear from you x

Or even worse: I thought you were sooo cute xxxxxxx. Ewww.

By the way, i also hate when men use LOL. Actually, I hate when anyone uses that. It’s silly.

And poor Asian 5 foot 6 Phong with the very large ears... I’m sorry. You wrote me a nice email. Thank you for the compliment on my “pretty pictures.” But - no... it’ not going to happen.

But this guy, he had it right:

..yep I know I am too old and ugly for you!

But reading your profile made me smile

Hopefully one day you will meet Mr Right, and you will ditch the international woman of mystery thing :)

Thank you. I hope I find Mr. Right too, but I’m glad that you realize that it’s not going to be you.

And this one was really sweet and he was kind of cute, in a big cuddly teddy bear sort of way, and seemed like a nice guy.... But he is a country boy who doesn’t even live in London and although he proclaims to want to travel, he doesn’t seem very wordly to me. Meeting him would just be wasting his time and mine. But I did feel sad when I pressed delete on this one:

Oh my goodness me, how lovely are you! What great pics and a profile to match. You certainly don't sound like a 'nerd' as you suggest. Your life sounds action-packed. Having read your profile I think I better get back to the drawing board and re-write mine!

Now that I'm back in town for a few weeks, I should probably go out on a date with one of these boys soon. I’m thinking about taking the tall dark and handsome cop up on his offer to take me out. What do you think? Should I go for it?

The problem is, I’m all talk and no game. I’m kind of shy (although you would never really know it if you met me) and I get dreadfully nervous before dates. What if they don’t like me? What if they don’t think I look like my pictures? What if I don’t like them? What if it’s terrible and awkward? What if he's a psychopath?

All you fellow Internet daters, any advice? How do you manage pre-date jitters? Comments highly appreciated!

Happy Monday!

XOXO

London Weekend Part II: Saturday

Before I tell you all about my Saturday in London and my Match date! I ask that you my fellow blog readers please click on the “follow” button on the right-hand side of my blog. This will hopefully help show that I have a cool blog that is worth readingg and maybe will help me to attract more followers. And I then hope you will tune in on a regular basis! And oh yeah - spread the word. If you like what you read, send to friends! Thanks for the support!

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming....

So, after my Friday night out in Clapham, Saturday morning arrived along with an uninvited hangover. I am one of those people who gets hangovers very easily and tend to spend an awful lot of weekends suffering through. I wish I could say that stops me from drinking... but it unfortunately, it doesn’t...

Nor does it stop me from taking tequila shots with M. Every time I go out with her (although I do think that I am really getting too old for shots). It’s like we feel the need to relive our early twenties spent drinking shots and Long Island Ice Tea’s on Mao Ming Lu in Shanghai. But that’s a story or another day.

Now back to Saturday. I wake up. I am grumpy with a hangover. I wander around Chelsea a bit and get something to eat. I think about going to the park but end up going to lay back down in bed and taking a small nap instead. Luckily, when I wake up from the small nap, the hangover is almost gone so I decide to go for a long run on the Thames to kill the hangover once and for all.

When I get back from the run, I realize that it is Saturday night and sadly  I have absolutely nothing at all to do. I start to feel a bit sorry for myself. For whatever reason,. on this Saturday night, I was not content to stay at home alone! I really wanted to go out and do something. For the first time, I start to realize that I'm lonely in London!

So, when in need of something to do or more accurately, someone to do it with, why not turn to Match.com. I mean isn't this why I'm paying for the subscription? So, that’s what I did. And in fact one of the men (a Scottish man so let’s call him the Scotsman) had been talking to had nothing to do either. So, we decided that we should meet up for an impromptu date.

I’m pretty sure that it the fastest that I have ever arranged a date. I usually write back and forth to guys for ages and then stress about the date for days in advance. This was was quick and easy to arrange - other than the fact that I had to explain to the Scotsman where Sloane Square is (when by the way he lives in Fulham - right next door to Chelsea) - which should have kind of set off immediate alarm bells.

So, we met outside the Subway stop at Sloane Square. And I was there first even though I was at least a fashionable 8 minutes later. Second bad sign. I want the guy to wait for me.

As he walked out of the subway, I could already tell that the Scotsman and I weren’t going to hit it off. What is it about chemistry? Why does one second of looking at someone tell you “yes” or “no?” It wasn’t that he wasn’t attractive... in fact, he was pretty good looking although at 6’1 he wasn’t quite as tall as I would like. But it was something about they way he moved that told me right away that unless he really turned on the charm, our relationship would be limited to a first date only.

I had suggested we go to the Botanist but it was a bit crowded. I wouldn’t have minded getting a drink there anyway, but I could see that he was kind of freaking out about the crowd. So, I asked him if he wanted to go somewhere else and he jumped at the chance to leave. The problem was that it was about 10 pm and bars were starting to close and the closest place I could think of to go was a 10 min walk.

I could tell he was annoyed by the walk. Which made me annoyed as I was the one in high heels! I kept joking with him that at least he got to see more of Chelsea... But, I don’t think he found it all that funny. Damn. He was definitely lacking a sense of humor and adventure and I was already finding it a bit tough to keep the conversation going.

We ended up at the Trafalagar on King’s Road. It’s not my favorite place but it’s ok. It’s a pub that is open until midnight though (most close at 11 pm) and since it was late, that was good. We ordered a round of drinks. I ordered Rose and he ordered cider - which I thought was a bit girly of him.

It wasn’t that anything was exactly wrong with him... He just seemed kind of bland and I didn’t feel that “spark” nor a good camaraderie. I felt like I was doing all the work to keep the conversation going. Its no fun when a date feels like work! And while I liked his Scottish accent, he was very soft spoken and I was having trouble hearing him. Especially since a huge party of about 15 loud and drunk people came in right after us and for some reason decided to all stand around the sofa we were sitting on. In fact two rather large women were literally sitting on the back of the sofa! It was really distracting trying to talk to this guy while trying to ignore the butts of these two women that were right in our faces.

In case you were wondering, ass in face = not good on a date.

We decided to get a second round and also to move location to get away from the big butt women. However, the second location didn’t prove to be much better. For some reason a guy at the table behind us was yelling “shut up” over again at the top of his lungs.* It was actually distracting the entire bar and eventually the bar staff had to tell him to stop. The whole thing was definitely annoying but the Scotsman was annoyed and upset by it to the point of complete distraction. Despite my best efforts not to focus on the shouting guy (and just ignore him and continue on with our already strained conversation) the Scotsman was not to be put off. He went on and on about what a jerk the shouting guy was. In general, the Scotsman seemed to just be annoyed about everything: the crowded bar, the long walk to the next bar, the ass in the face women, the loud man... I just couldn’t please him and I started to get the feeling that he just wasn’t all that much fun. I mean admittedly, all those things WERE slightly annoying but not really a big deal especially on a Saturday night where expectations were low and the alternative for both of us (need I remind you) was sitting at home alone. In fact, the events of the night could be viewed as rather amusing... That’s how I viewed them at least (I did think about telling him he should start to write a blog so that when you experience annoying things, at least you know it will be a good story).

Luckily it was last call and he needed to catch the subway before it stopped running. So, we walked out together and said our goodbyes. And as I’m dong a quick mental review of the date I decide that although there is no spark between us but the date also wasn’t that bad. In fact, it was better than sitting at home. But just as I’m thinking this and telling him good-bye, he actually says out loud: “Really nice to meet you... it was better than being home alone.” I was thinking the same but I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT OUT LOUD! Hello?  Manners? I was laughing inside but outwardly I gave him a purposefully awkward “ummmm thanks...” followed by an almost eye roll and a look that meant I wanted to get away as fast as possible. I think that as soon as the words escaped his mouth, he was embarrassed as he scurried away pretty quick after awkwardly attempting to kiss my cheek as I went more for a reluctant hug.

But I have to say, I had a good laugh the rest of the way home. I actually don't think he meant to be rude. At the end of the day, I guess that was really the best way to sum up the date: “Better than sitting at home alone on a Saturday night” (although just barely).

Stay tuned for part III of the (lonely) London weekend. Since dating men wasn’t working out well, I decided to have a nice Sunday afternoon date with myself!

*Sorry UK but you guys have the loudest and most obnoxious drunks I have ever seen! Why do people yell so loudly in bar? Or sing loud obnoxious song,s or for that matter, pass out in the street covered in their own vomit? It's kind of gross!

Internet Dating Don'ts

So, all this free time has inevitably sent me flying back to Match.com. This is rather unfortunate since I’m still not really impressed with the men there. But what else is a girl to do. Does anyone have any recommendations for a better dating site?

In fact after just a two days of aimless browsing on the site, I’ve been inspired to write a dating profile DO NOT DO list. Boys please take note:

1. Do not choose a stupid username. Examples of stupid usernames are: artyfartymarty, joeybigmac, chunky_a, eating_p, bum_licker (I admit I made the last one up, but the rest are real)!

2. Do not post 10 pictures of you without your shirt on posing in front of the mirror. I DO NOT CARE if you’ve got abs like The Situation! It still feels like you are trying way too hard. I would rather be pleasantly surprised later on if it gets to that...

3. Please please do not write that Dan Brown is your favorite author. WTF! I swear that 2 out of every 10 guys swears that Dan Brown is their hero. Ugh. This tells me that they haven’t read any other books in their life. Might I also suggest that you do not list The Game as your favorite book?

4. Do not give excuses as to why you are on this site. We all know why you are here. Making excuses or offering any kind of explanation at all just makes you seem lame. Get some confidence and get on with it!

5. Do not post pictures of you with lots of other people so that you can’t tell which one you are.

6. Do not post more than one picture of your pet. It’s just weird.

7. Do not post only one picture. Especially if that one picture is of a well-known celebrity and OBVIOUSLY not a picture of you!

8. If you are ugly old and fat do not email girls like me. Seriously. I’m totally out of your league! I also specifically state in my profile that ugly old and fat men need not apply!

9. Do not post pictures of yourself holding a gun (and no I do not care if it’s a toy). It’s not macho -it’s just scary. You would be surprised at how many men do this!

10. Ok. I get it, you are a fun guy. You like to dress us and go to “fancy dress” parties as they call them here in London. That’s great. One picture, MAX two of you wearing some kind of costume show that you are down to earth, like to have fun and aren’t afraid to let loose and be silly. Any more than that start to hint at the fact that you might have some serious issues. And let me add - there is never ever any reason for you to put up a picture of yourself in an animal suit. Sorry boys. Just don’t do it.

11. Do not write me emails that say that even though you do not meet a single one of my requirements (i.e. you are fat old and ugly) you still can’t help but feel that we are actually soul mates and I should give you a chance anyway. Let me tell you: Not. Going. To. Happen. In the real world of old fashioned dating, I guess it would be possible for me to overwhelm me with your wit and charm and dazzle me so that I do not care if you are old and fat and ugly. But let’s face it, this is the online dating world and pictures and pre-set criteria do matter!

12. Do not continue to spam me with emails when I have not replied to a single one (usually because you are fat and ugly and old). Get the HINT! Do not make me break up with you before I have even exchanged a single virtual word with you!

13. Do not try so hard to be different! Emails like this:

im pleased to annouce that you have won an all expenses meal of your choice at either Mcdonalds or Burger King. So whats it to be a Big Mac or a Whopper?.

...are just obnoxious and move my finger to the delete button faster than you can say “french fries” (especially if you are old and fat and ugly).

14. C’mon boys - you all say that you are looking for the full package - that ever elusive combination of looks and brains but those girl are going to be hard to get if your grammar and spelling is like this:

Hey girl, on your profile you sound like an all round pain in the ass, lol, would'nt be suprised iff you're alright really, would be greatfull iff you gave me your honest opinion of my profile, X.

Use spell check! And don’t say such stupid things. And YES, I am an all around pain in the ass! But it’s probably not your best pickup line. Use your noggin boy!

15. If you make less than 50,000 GBP do NOT post your income - keep that to yourself. Match gives you the handy option of not replying to questions that might not make you look that good. So, don’t reply. In fact, I think posting your income is cheesy! Why do it at all?

16. Do not ask me to email you at your personal email address because you are either too cheap to pay for a Match subscription beyond the free trial, or too cool to renew your subscription. Sorry boys - you get the DELETE!

17. Please please do not write me emails that consist only of “How you doin” Ugh. I will absolutely not respond to that. In fact,do not include those words anywhere on you profile - especially not as your tagline!

18. Do not try to make excuses for your profile picture. In fact, do no put up pictures that you have to make excuses for in the first place. And if you need to make excuses because you are that fat old and ugly, pleas revert to rule number 8. To prove my point... One guy just wrote me this little note:

My profile pic may seem mean and moody BUT im really, really NOT like that. When im taking the pic i cant do fake smiles. If we ever meet then you willsee how much i smile and laugh :0) So please dont judge from the profile pic!

Why oh why would I want to write him back?

19. I just had to come back and edit this post and add a number 19 to the list because I was surfing on Match and I found a guy who lists Twilight as his favorite movie and Lady Gaga as his favorite music and yes, his profile did specify that he was searching for women and there was not a hint of sarcasm elsewhere in his profile, so I think he was pretty serious. Boys, we like your feminine and soft side - but only once we get to know you. Do not reveal these things on your profile. It's not cool!

And just to prove that I’m not totally mean and cold-hearted (I’m just picky), I will end this with a positive comment This message that someone sent me yesterday was kinda sweet in an ego-boosting kind of way:

Ok - and now I just have to say that this was kind of sweet although this guy falls into the old fat and ugly category (by the way, old is 35 and over - check out my dating strategy for more info on my “type”).

Hey 3 guys here surfing our mates match for the best looking girl for him and weve all agreed on you ;) If you think you can handle us drop as an email back ;)

I think I can handle him... but I’m sure he is fat old and ugly obviously can’t handle me so I will not be responding to him. Sorry. But sweet email. Nothing like a little ego boost!

This one was kind of cute too:

You look absolutely gorgeous. I know it sounds terribly cheesy, but I'd kick myself if I didn't tell you.

I know I'm 1 inch too short and I just don't look good in heels. So I'm screwed.

But at least I can now I can now go to sleep with a clear conscience.

Ok. Enough complaining. I'm back to the online dating world now to write back that sexy PE teacher and see if he wants to be my London tour guide.

Adios!

Internet Dating Strategy

Well, I'm back from my China adventure and realize that there are actually no boys on the horizon. I guess it's back to good old Match.com for me. The problem is that March is a REALLY busy month for me and I actually am not sure I have time to date. Between a launching a new product at work, a good friend leaving (and insisting we party every night this coming week), a trip to Paris next weekend (to party for the night with friends) and a trip to Stockholm the week after (a mix of work and fun), it seems that I have very few free nights! Well, maybe I will meet men the old fashioned way when I'm out and about in my adventures. We will see.

But this morning I took a journey into the virtual dating world via Match.com who byt the way have annoying changed their UI and I HATE it. But that's beside the point. I still managed to email and wink at some cute boys and that's what's important right? Which brings me to my Internet Dating Strategy which I would like to share with you all.

All in all, I think that my strategy for Internet dating has been pretty good. I have only been on one truly bad date and that was a second date. Boy managed to hide his true colors during the first date... Sneaky. All of the men I have met have been reasonably attractive, able to carry on a good conversation, and more or less what I expected from their profile. I have had no awkward silences and no dates where I have run screaming from the bar because they were old, overweight and balding and nothing at all like their attractive profile picture.

And now, because I'm a nice person, I will share with you my secret Internet dating strategy in case you want to try it out yourself!

My strategy consists of only responding to men with the following criteria:

• Tall - over 6'3 preferably (although I will consider anyone over 6 feet - all others are instantly deleted - I like tall men)


• Handsome (I've already told you I'm superficial)


• Must live in London


• Must have a picture - more then one, preferably lots


• Must be between 24 and 35 years old - Apologies to all the Grandpas who insist on writing to me even though I clearly state I don't like OLD men


• Must not have kids or be divorced - who wants unnecessary baggage when it can so easily be avoided by a careful criteria screen


• Must not post pictures of themselves posing in front of a mirror without a shirt on - Unless they are of course incredibly gorgeous and have a smart and serious profile to match


• Must not have the headline of "How YOU Doin'?" - seriously do you know how many men out there have this as their headline? Can you be any less creative or cheesy?


• Must have put some time and effort into writing there profile, not just write: "Don't know why I'm doing this. Friends told me it was a good idea. Hit me up with an email if you're a hot chick." -Ok, I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but if if their pictures are really really great, I do sometimes write them back
  
• Must have reasonable spelling and Grammar - If they can't properly write sentences, chances are an intellectual or stimulating conversation is not in the cards either


• Must not list Dan Brown (or John Grisham) as his favorite author - seriously, do you know how many men do this? I have nothing against Dan Brown and I enjoy reading his books although I think they lack substance and have terrible character development - so if he's your all time favorite author... Nope. It's not going to work.


• Must be willing to write back and forth with me several times before I actually meet them - I think people do tend to reveal their true selves in emails
  
• Must be patient with me if I get cold feet and have to cancel the date and reschedule (yes, this sometimes happens to me)


• Must not solicit sex, make inappropriate sexual comments, or get too desperate in emails


• Must not be a stalker

But the most important rules are as follows:

• Never take Internet dating too seriously


• Use Internet dating, but don't forget the old fashioned way as well


• If one boy doesn't work out, another one is just a click away

Time to tear myself from the computer and my virtual dating world and go back to the real world for now. Hosting a party tonight then going out clubbing in Lodon. Maybe I will manage to meet a real life man! I'll be sure to keep you posted! Enoy the weekend!

A Good First Date Does Not A Good Second Date Make

I heart musicians. Or at least I have a very soft spot for musicians (in fact sometimes I will even make exceptions for musicians such as even if they are not that tall or that hot, I might still date them - or at least make out with them). I think it has to do with my father and brother both being really into music. It feels like something I grew up with. Or maybe it's because I'm not musical and arty and therefore I admire those qualities in others... Either way, if a guy plays music, he is that much more sexy in my book.

Anyway, I met this guy on Match, let's call him The Musician. He is a singer songwriter in London and also does lots of cover gigs and teaches performance. Sounds cool, right? We wrote back and forth for weeks and he seemed pretty interesting so we decided to meet up.

Our first date went well enough... We met for drinks and had good conversation. He was good looking (no exceptions necessary - phew). Tall with dark hair and blue eyes. I was looking forward to meeting him again.

The second date seemed doomed from the start. As usual I was running late (and he was early) but I was only 5 mins late and I had texted him to tell him so. Not really a big deal. Anyway, I get to the restaurant and he had texted me that he would be upstairs in the bar. So, I go upstairs. He's not there. So, I call him. He doesn't answer. I walk back downstairs starting to feel a little bit silly and I look around all confused and there he is watching me! Awkward! Nevermind the fact that I totally blew my entrance where I was going to strut in all sexy hair blowing everywhere... Huh. Anyway, I tried not to think too much into it at the time - I mean why would someone do that? But after the rest of the night played out and his mean-spirited personality was revealed, I can't help but think he actually watched me walk up the stairs looking for him and then ignored my call... just to see my reaction and make me feel uncomfortable. Creepy!

So, after that exciting entrances he then launches into me about the fact that I live in Chelsea (one of London's most posh neighborhoods) as this had been a topic we covered on the first date, I felt annoyed it had come up again. Yes, I live in Chelsea. My workplace is in Chelsea. It's a nice place and it makes sense for me to live in Chelsea. Who wouldn't want to live here? It's fabulous. Yes, I realize that somewhere out there is the rest of big bad London with homeless people, crime, bad neighborhoods, long underground commutes, small apartments and horrible flatmates. But hey, I'm lucky and I work hard to pay my exorbitant rent so I can live alone in nice apartment in a nice area without a commute involving any kinds of public transportation (I have a phobia). I enjoy the area I live in. And you could call me a snob, but I do realize I have a very charmed life and am very thankful for it. But have I mentioned I also work VERY HARD for it! He is not the first man I have dated who couldn't get over the Chelsea thing. I just don't get it. I guess they are intimidated and insecure. But over the area I live in? Get over it! Or at least don't bring it up every 5 minutes! But I digress...

So, after we go over the reasons that I live in Chelsea again, The Musician then proceeds with an even more fun topic as he tells me he felt my message from the day before was "too forward." I was taken aback since I do not recall sending any outrageous messages (being the good girl that I am, I usually leave this kind of behaviour to the third or fourth date at least). So, I did what any normal girl would do, I checked my phone.

I had texted him around 9 the night before to say "Hey you. Are we still on for tomorrow night?" That. Was. It. The reason I texted him at all was because I hadn't heard from him - he was supposed to text me during the day to tell me if he was free to meet the next night or not. At 9 pm when I hadn't heard from him, I figured I would send him a text so that I would still have time to make other plans if he bailed. Once I pointed this out to him, he says "oh, must have been your other messages. Time to put the phone away now. It's rude to check your phone on a date." Whoa...

Feeling a bit awkward, I began to chatter away about silly stuff - my job, my upcoming travels, weddings that summer I was looking forward to. So, he cuts through this and sneers at me (seriously - the best way to describe it was a sneer) "Do you really think that even have time for a boyfriend?" Umm... point taken and he might be right, but jeez it's our second date and at this point boy is very far away from being considered for the boyfriend job. And his bitterness (dare I say jealousness - yes I realize I invented a word here but it really should be in the Dictionary) about my busy life is so not the way to my heart!

He then tried a smooth move to win me over by telling me that he thought I was "really arrogant." This was brought on by the fact that I made some silly - and I had thought flirty - comments such as: "of course, I was popular in high school," and "you might be a singer, but I'm sure I could give you a run for your money at karaoke." Both of these statements were said in a sarcastic and exaggerated tone. And yes, ok I was popular in high school and yes, I kinda do rock at karaoke but I'm saying these things to be flirty and funny, not to be arrogant! I mean singing is his profession, of course I'm nowhere near as good as him! I was just trying to flirt with him a little bit and show that I'm a really confident and fun girl. Basides Buddy, if I am so arrogant, why are you even on a second date with me? Seriously. There is the door.

I couldn't wait to get away from him but he seemed to be drinking his wine as slowly as possible. I honestly thought he was doing it on purpose, as if he could sense my discomfort and was enjoying it and trying to drag it out for as long as possible. And I was not sure I really wanted to stand up and make a dramatic exit so I patiently waited until I could escape.

While waiting for him to finish his drink, I did have a long conversation with myself (in my head) about what justified storming out of a date and causing a scene, and if this was possibly one of the worst dates ever, and wondering if these kind of things happened to other people. But then I reminded myself that I'm totally awesome and it's not my fault this guy is such an insecure jerk. Well at least he was right on with the arrogance accusation!

And after all that, he still had the nerve to ask me if he could come home with me! I politely told him that it was probably not going to work out between the two of us. Then I went home and watched Sex and the City reruns to make myself feel better.

For all you men out there, the way to a woman's heart is definitely not by insulting her and making her feel bad about herself! Especially on a second date!

How To Be The Perfect Boyfriend

So, a Match boy sent me a poem about how to be a perfect boyfriend along with a Charming little note. I loved the poem so much I couldn't help but share!

In Case you are wondering, I thought the poem was great, but alas I didn't like his picture and being a totally shallow person, I didn't go on a date with him or even write him back. I know. Try not to judge. I have other awesome qualities but wasting my time writing back to unattractive but sweet boys isn't one of them.

Hey!!
How are you? Was looking through your profile and you sounded lovely so thought I would give you a mail and see if you will get back to me. Hopefully you will - I promise to be at least 60% interesting if you do (which isn't bad nowadays).

I will leave you with this - A Poem: "How To Be The Perfect Boyfriend." Not that I think anyone could ever be the perfect boyfriend. Including me - I have way too many faults. Anyway, here it goes.......
Hope you get back to me soon
D x.

How To Be The Perfect Boyfriend
Sometimes you've got to be macho
And do loads of things that are tough
But sometimes it's best to be quite and gentle
And say loads of soppy type stuff
You've got to have hundreds of muscles
And girls always like a nice bum
But you mustn't be hairy or sweaty or fat
Or have any flab on your tum.
Don't ever talk about football
Or make nasty smells in the bed
Or joke about bosoms with mates in the pub
Or drink till you're out of your head
You've got to be funny and clever
And do loads of things by surprise
Like shouting out loud in the back of a bus
My girlfriend's got beautiful eyes."
You don't have to have too much money
But make sure you've just got enough
To buy loads of presents and chocolates and flowers
And sexy silk undies and stuff
Say to your girlfriend "You're gorgeous
Your body's a twelve out of ten
You're sexy and beautiful, clever and kind.
Then tell her all over again.

Very nice poem don't you think? But the question is: are there any men out there who can live up to this? What do you think?

Internet Dating Vs. Old-Fashioned Dating

If you are single these days, then most likely you are using the internet in some way to meet people. In the past couple years internet dating has gone from being a weird thing that a friend of a friend has done... to being a normal thing that all single people do (or at least that's what I tell myself to make myself feel better).

While I don't rule out meeting someone the old fashioned way - i.e. bumping into them in my daily life, I definitely think that meeting someone on the internet is a good alternative. Having both options gives you the best of both worlds - and should also make you twice as likely to find a good match - so far this part hasn't actually worked out for me... but here's hoping!

Let's compare the two options side-by-side:

Meeting the Old-Fashioned Way

Pros:

• Can quickly decide if they are shagalicious (I live in London so I can now use words like this


• Can quickly size up their clothing and grooming style to see if it's up to par


• Can smell them (seriously, this is important)


• If after a few minutes of speaking with them, you realize you don't like them, you can run away and leave no trace so can't stalk you electronically (as long as you haven't already given them your phone number)


• It's more organic and therefore less stressful: you meet someone, you speak to them, you decide if you like them... there is no stressing about should I or shouldn't I meet him? Will he look as good in real life as he does in the pictures? Will he think I look like I do in my pictures? Will it be terribley awkward? Is it worth it to waste my time on this date?

Cons:

• Alcohol might seriously impair the judgement of all the pros above


• Lust might get in the way of reality - You might have a passionate night with a total hottie but wake up the next morning to find he can barely compose full sentences


• The fact that he's divorced and has 3 children that live at home might not be readily apparent


• It's difficult to meet people to date in your daily life! My routine focuses on work and gym and travel... I don't have the luck to meet hot men at the supermarket or on a plane, most of the men at my gym are gay, many of my colleagues are very good-looking but are unfortunately all married - and work relationships are a bad idea, and meeting guys at bars and clubs has not really been working out for me lately

Meeting on the Internet

Pros:

• It's easy and can be done in the privacy of your own bedroom (I mean the sitting in bed with your laptop searching through profiles! What were you thinking)?


• You can quickly compare your interests to his (especially if he has filled out the handy side-by-side comparison form where you eve get a compatibility rating)


• Easy to practice selective searching to find your type such as: ovser 6 feet tall, no children, makes 6 figures


• Important things are stated clearly up front in print such as: marital status (never married, divorced, separated), number of children and if said children live at home or away from home, the number of children they want to have in the future (for some reason most men choose 3), whether or not they smoke, how often they drink (never, regularly, social drink - maybe 1 or 2), whether they live alone or live with roommates, what pets they like, how often they exercise, what their interests/hobbies are...


• It's easy to tell if you are his type since he has specified the qualites he is looking for including: age range, hair and eye color, body shape (curvy, slender, about average, a few extra pounds, athletic and toned), education, and if they find the following things to be turn-ons: brainiacs, long hair, thunderstorms, skinny dipping, candlelight, assertiveness


• Sweet emails from attractive men are like the modern day love letter - who doesn't get a thrill out of man telling you that you are the most beautiful woman he has seen out of all the millions on Match.com?


• It can be a Big confidence booster. When I'm feeling down. I "Wink" at men and hope they write me sweet nothings back - seriously even if you are luckier in love than me and are actually in a relationship, you should still sign up for Match just to try this out. It's awesome!


• There are so so many men to choose from - don't like one, another one is just a click away

Cons:

• Can't accurately judge clothing style or grooming habits so you might end up on a date with a guy with high wasted khakis and Birkenstocks with socks (so far this hasn't happened to me)


• Their entire profile might be one big lie - or at least full of little small lies - I mean they are trying to make themselves look as appealing as possible
  
• They might not look like their picture in person

You get a lot of emails and winks from men you deem not compatible (i.e. NOT HOT) - seriously out of the 500 winks and emails I received in the last month, I "removed" 455 men

• It's time consuming (especially the "removing" the not hot men part) - you can literally spend hours in your little virtual world of searching for and writing to hot men on the internet


• Men sometimes get obssesive and stalk you - this can get ugly but luckily Match invented a handy "Block" function to prevent ugly stalkers from bothering you just with a click of a button! Isn't technology amazing?


• No matter how many times you write to someone, it's still a blind date, you are meeting a stranger and it's kind of stressful


• You might decide you really like someone on the Internet then never hear from them again - I mean you are just one in a million of accessible women competing for the seemingly few decent men


• Might accidentally stumble across a colleague and then they can see that you have checked their profile and they can go and check out yours!*

After comparing the two side by side my conclusion is: Why choose? Why not do both?

*This actually happened to me! Embarrassing! I don't really want my colleague checking out all my sexy flirty pictures on my Match profile page! However... I guess in the world of Old Fashioned dating, you would probably stumble across your colleague at a work Christmas party and bring him home with you to check out your sexy flirty panties! At least I have heard that sometimes happens at work Christmas parties - not saying that this is ever something that I have done! ;)

Trying Out "Different" Men

After my first couple Match Dates, I decided to put Match.com aside for a bit and see what happened when I went out with guys I met in a more traditional way: at a club. I also decided to see what would happen if I put aside my ideas on my "type" of guy for a minute and tried to push my cultural boundaries...

So, next up was the Indian. I met him at a Club on a crazy Thursday night. I say a crazy Thursday night because I do not recall a single Thursday night since my early 20's when I managed to stay out until 3 am and go to work with a huge hangover the next day... I thought I had left those days looooong behind me. Apparently not. I was "chatted up" - as the British say - by an Indian guy at the bar and after giving him my number and texting with him throughout the week, decided to go on a date with him the following weekend. We met at the bar at the Sanderson Hotel - which by the way, I totally recommend. All in all, a good date. But no chemistry. I'm not sure Indian men (or Asian men as they are called here - apparently in the UK 'Asian' means Indian or Pakistani; I always thought 'Asian' met Chinese or Japanese) are my thing.

After that there was the Muslim. I also met him at a nightclub. I basically just wanted to hang out in the VIP section of a very boring club and he was my girlfriend's and my ticket in. But, he ended up being kind of interesting and managed to convince me to go on several dates with him. Actually, all in all we had a very nice time together having dinner at various expensive restaurants around the city. The best thing about London boys is - they pay! Hooray! None of this Swedish split the bill (or let the girl pay) crap. My problem with the Muslim was that he was Muslim. He didn't drink. Gulp! He didn't seem to mind if I had a glass of wine with dinner. And while he did seem to want some kind of relationship more serious than I was looking for with him... he did make it very clear that if I were ever to become his girlfriend, he would by no means introduce me to his Muslim family as they would not approve of any non-Muslim girl. They were waiting for him to move home and meet a nice Moroccan girl. Unfortunate for him, he seems to have a thing for tall blond girls and instead keeps them secret from his family. His last blond British girlfriend of 3 years didn't seem to mind. He was interested in adding an American blond to the list. Ummm... no thanks.

And then the Man with a Plan. Another Match Date. Nothing too wrong with him. We had a nice evening. But he was one of those men with a "plan." He would meet a girl. They would date. They would get engaged. They would get married. They would move to designated spot in the country (I can't remember the name of the place but it was picked out - he literally described his future house to me). He would continue to earn ridiculous amounts of money and she would quit her job and have babies. And they would live miserably - I mean happily - ever after. So, "the plan" in addition to a seemingly unhealthy fascination for Cheryl Cole and Shakira (I mean, why should his obsession with woman pop stars even come up on the first date - MORE THAN ONCE) made him not the man (with a plan) for me.

So, dating "different" men didn't lead to true love but at least I got some free dinners and drinks. And that's what matters right?

Getting Back on the Dating Horse

So. When you fall off the horse, you're supposed to get right back on, right? But I thought I would take the old adage to heart and try to get right back up there. Well, easier said than done when it comes to dating.

I will admit that as soon as the Ex and I broke up, I signed up for Match.com and started to look for hot, tall, single men in London. I will also admit that I was not a complete stranger -or virgin, if you will - to Internet dating. In fact, I actually met the Beautiful Swede via a Swedish Internet dating site (Thanks Spray Date). So... with approximately 5 Internet dates in total under my belt, with the last one resulting in a year plus relationship, I decided to venture back into the big bad world of Internet dating.

The first guy I met - Busy Boy - who is only worth noting for the fact that his incessant questioning about what I did "for fun" outside of work and how I "released my creativeness" made me realize just how sad my life had become. What did I do outside of work? Who was I? Where in the world had I managed to loose myself? This guy had a serious job plus several serious things going on outside of work. He was actually really interesting but I left him wondering how in the world he found time for all the things he claimed to be into. In my own defense, I had just moved to London (rather unwillingly for my job) just a couple weeks before and I was having a tough time. Work/Life balance for me didn't exist and probably hadn't for the last year. I was feeling pretty low. But maybe this date was exactly what I needed to realize just how much I had lost myself in the Stockholm to London shuffle. I found myself thinking a lot about what I was doing. When did I stop doing the things that made me me... like reading, writing, throwing parties, hanging out with friends, singing... When did I stop having fun and start working all the time? Was a career woman all I was destined to be? Is this what I want my life to look like in 10 years? I realized that before I could seriously start dating, I needed to get back in touch with myself! So, I think the Busy Boy for starting me off on the soul searching that in turn led me to once again start writing which has now resulted in this blog.

The second guy I met - The Investment Banker - is most noteworthy for being the world's shortest dinner date. We met and we ate dinner in under ONE HOUR! I'm not even sure how that's possible. The hard thing about Internet dates is they are basically a blind date. You are meeting a STRANGER! And if that isn't intimidating enough, you are often meeting them after a looong and sometimes a very bad day at work. This is what happened the day I met the Investment Banker. I had a terrible day. So so terrible, that I thought a lot about cancelling but didn't want to be rude. So, I went to the date anyway. I can't say it was terrible. In fact, he was extremely good looking but very very boring in that Investment Banker sort of way. But he the date was terribly short. However, as I look past at most of my last dates... well it unfortunately ranks somewhere near the top. Short and Sweet is not necessarily a bad thing!

So, I'm offically back on the horse, but I'm not exactly sure that we are moving anywhere yet!

Closing the Ex Files

"Have You Ever Tried Sleeping With a Broken Heart, Well you Should Try Sleeping In My Bed" - Alicia Keys

It feels that in order to give an honest summary of my dating escapades this fall, I have to begin at the beginning. And that would be with my Ex Boyfriend: The Beautiful Swede.

One of my biggest problems or downfalls is that the Beautiful Swede keeps trying to creep his way back into my life and has been around a bit too much this fall. Officially we broke up in August. Unofficially we kept seeing each other until well... I guess the beginning of December when I last saw him in Stockholm. We stopped talking every night at the end of October. So, it feels like the real break up began then... Actually, what am I talking about? We were breaking up and hurting each other all fall! That was the problem. Every time I made a little bit of progress and got away from him a little bit, he would push his way back in and hurt me all over again.

We keep deciding not to talk. I keep telling him we are not going to be friends. He usually respects this for a short time and then starts to try to contact me in various ways. I mean dating has become so complicated with technology! In addition to the phone, we now have emails, text messages, Skype, Blackberry Messenger, Google chat, Facebook... Ugh. There are so many ways to keep in touch or get in touch. And yes, emails count as contact. The problem was, when the Ex contacted me, I thought he missed me! And unfortunately, I sure missed him...

Christmas was a low point for me. I had made a lot of progress in getting over him in the fall. In fact, in part due to an introduction of a new man (The Swedish Adventurer - see future post) while visiting Stockholm in December, I actually felt like I was finally ready to close the Ex-files and move on. Seriously. But against the advice of my friends and mother, I decided to see the Beautiful Swede at the beginning of December and stay with him for 2 nights while working in Stockholm. I knew it might not be a good idea. I knew that it might open the door again. I knew there was really no point in seeing him since we had decided again and again that our relationship wouldn't work out in the long run. But I really wanted to see him. So, as usual, I didn't take the advice of those around me and instead I followed my heart and saw the Ex.

And, it was good! Good to see him but also good to leave him! I really felt like things were over. We still had amazing sex (why oh why is break up sex always the best) and he could still make me laugh with his dorky sense of humor and all the reasons I had dated him for the past year plus were still there but at the same time, it felt like the blinders were off and I could see all the bad things very clearly too. And the overwhelming realization I had was - he just doesn't love me enough. And why would I want to be with someone who doesn't love me enough... And the funny thing, is I actually felt ok with this realization. So, when we kissed goodbye and I went off to catch an early morning flight back to London, this time there were no tears, and in fact I felt ok, relieved almost that I had survived the time with my Ex without doing more damage to my broken heart. Ready to get back to my life in London. Ready to meet a better man. Ready to put the Beautiful Swede behind me and close the Ex Files.

Dating in London...

"Boys on My Left Side, Boys on My Right Side, Boys in the Middle But You're Not Here... " -Tori Amos

In an attempt to get over my my Ex Boyfriend - the Beautiful Swede, I have entered the dating world in a very serious way.

And for lack of anything else interesting to write about... Or for the fact that I guess this is my life... I'm going to start by writing about dating in London... But before I begin, I should mention one or two other things.

First, my main way of meeting people these days is via the Internet. Match.com is my current dating site where I have spent many an evening trolling away looking for handsome tall men who sound interesting and use correct English grammar. Most likely I will have to devote a full blog entry to the joys of Internet dating (seriously) but I will save that for later.

Second, dating takes up a lot of time and energy! I once had a colleague who listed dating as her hobby when asked by another colleague what she liked to do outside of work. Everyone laughed when she said this but since then, since entering the busy dating world myself, I understand what she means! It take soooo much time! It could be a full-time job. Really. And you think about it a lot. You obsess over the dates, you stress before you go on one, you wonder if he's going to call. You wonder if he's right for you. You spend time online - deleting people mostly (in my case) or writing back to people, deciding if you want to meet them. Carefully composing interesting and funny emails... So, shallow as it may seem to write about my dating life... Well, outside of work - and the gym of course, dating is sadly what's taking up my time!

Third, I have a "type." He is tall and dark and usually incredibly handsome. When I say tall, I mean over 6 foot three (preferably around 6 foot five). I also like kind of geeky guys. And I have a soft spot for musicians or creative artist types (kind of opposite of me I guess). Without sounding racially biased, I should mention that my 'type' also happens to be white... I think... At least so far. That being said, I realize that this definition (especially the height one) is incredibly limiting. So, I'm attempting to be more open-minded and try "new men." I'm always up for trying new things...

Fourth, it should be noted that the dating saga that follows takes place Post-Break up with my Ex - the Beautiful One. It also takes place post September when I moved to London. So, new city, new life, newly single... well... you get it.

Stay tuned for the tragic yet slightly hilarious details.

New Year, New Blog

So, it's a New Year. Thank God. I for one am very glad to put 2009 to rest. For me, it was an incredibly tough year. I am absolutely determined to make 2010 much more fabulous! But at the end of 2009, I took a critical look at myself and in addition to be overworked and over-traveled, I also found myself creatively destitute and lacking passion. I usually keep myself busy with small projects, but during the last year the only projects I worked on were work related. Basically, when I finally stopped long enough to look around, I could no longer recognize myself outside of the career woman I had become. So, after some deep soul searching and a lot of self questioning, I came up with a list of things that I liked to do that had nothing to do with work and decided to start doing them again.

One of those things I like to do is write. I used to write a lot. I enjoy writing. But somehow it has gotten lost in the shuffle of 70 hour working weeks and massive amounts of travel. Say nothing of the moving between countries and trying to keep up with friends and family all over the world. Besides frequently updating my Facebook status, exchanging a few emails with friends... I never write anymore. I realize that I have not even kept up with my journal in the past years.

So, in 2010 as part of my attempt to have a more fabulous year, I'm going to start to write again. What better way then to start a blog and add to the already over-saturated world of egocentric whinny people writing about their pathetic lives and looking for attention. Hmm... maybe not. I definitely have been having second thoughts. But what the hell? Why not. Maybe my friends will read it - then at least I can cut down on catching up so much over emails and Facebook status posts.

So, here it is: my first blog post. And what exactly am I going to write about - you might be wondering? Well, so am I! Ha ha... Well, what does anyone who blogs write about? Usually themselves... so, I thought a little bit about what's going on in my life and what I could write about... And I came up with the fact that I just moved to a new city and I mainly do three things: work, work out, and date. Well, you tell me what's the most interesting here?

So, having recently moved from Stockholm to London and having recently broken up with a guy and been re-initiated back to the Single World. Well.... I'm going to write about dating in London. Or looking for Love in London. Or the International Woman of Mystery takes on London. Or LIVING IT UP IN LONDON, Or how about just having a more fabulous year in 2010. Oh - who knows... I'm just going to write. And if you like it, you can keep reading. And if you don't... at least I'm writing again and it makes me feel better.

What I'm not going to write about... well is work. I spend so much time working and talking and thinking about work. I sometimes think that work has drained all my energy and that I've given my life and my youth to this company I have worked for for the past 9 years. So, I'm not going to write about work here. Of course as my work and my travel due to work has a large impact on my life it might be mentioned as relevant background information, but I do not think it will be a central theme. And as I feel the need to keep my work and my private life as separate as possible (which is very hard at the moment) I will keep this blog anonymous for the time being. So, if you happen to be one of the few people that I work with who I have mentioned this blog to, please do not pass this around the office. I don't really need a boost in the office gossip category. That seems to go pretty well on it's own without any help.

So... as for my blog and why anyone should read it...

If you are single, then hopefully you recognize some of the things I'm writing about and you can laugh commiserate and celebrate with me.

If you are married, then hopefully you will realize that you should stay married. It's really not that fun to be single.

And if you met someone before you had the chance to actually try Internet dating, then please read on and live vicariously through me.

Either way - well, please laugh with me and know that I don't take myself or this blog very seriously. ;)