Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Sexy Cop

So, there is this guy on Match.com that I had been writing back and forth with for awhile. He seemed to check the boxes: tall, dark, good-looking, "over-educated" (whatever that means), and to top it all off - he is a cop! And well let's face it, that's kind of hot! Right? We had been talking about meeting up for some time, but as usual I kept being a bit reluctant.

The thing is, as I have expressed before, I'm shy! I get super nervous to go out on dates. So, it takes a lot for me to work up to going out with someone. I don't know how some people can do it. It must be more natural or less stressful for them. I have friends who go on multiple dates per week with Internet matches. I can hardly manage multiple dates in a month.

BTW. If you want to meet a girl who totally knows how to rock a dating schedule - check out Date Me DC's fabulous blog. Her blog is what mine aspired to be before I realized that I neither had the time nor the energy and was too inclined to an overload of pre-date stress to date that much. But she does truly inspire me (and she writes a hell of a blog - so check her out)!

Unfortunately to add to my dating stress, going on a date inevitably involves taking the dreaded subway (or the Tube as they call it here). I think I honestly have a mild disorder. I'm actually sadly serious here. My friends might tell you that I don't take the subway because I think I'm too posh, but actually, it unfortunately goes much deeper than that.

I have never met anyone who dreads the subway more than me. The big factor is that I need space and I need control over my space. I can't stand being enclosed in small  areas with lots of pushing strangers (although oddly nightclubs and bars even when crowded are usually ok - Thank God). I do not like strange people touching me - even by accident. So, being way deep underground on the hot crowded subway with massive amounts of people packed into small fast moving cars with no escape from people rubbing up against me, well this folks is a nightmare for me. I actually have to count in my head the whole time I'm on the subway and mentally calm myself down.*

But really the fastest (and cheapest) way to Central London is to take the Tube and also I admit it does seem kind of snobby and overly posh to tell a guy you are meeting for the first time that you are arriving by taxi to meet him at the subway stop.

So, for this sexy cop, I braved the subway. Luckily it was not rush hour (like the last time I took the Tube and had a small panic attack and vowed to never take it again). So, it wasn't too crowded. I decided to stand as it was just 6 stops. The other reason I do not like the subway is that it gives weird people an opportunity to talk to you. Of course there was a guy standing across from me staring at me who eventually came over and told me that I was "absolutely stunning." Umm... Thank you kind stranger for totally being totally creepy (I moved away from him fast) but also for kind of boosting my confidence before a date. I mean, what woman doesn't want to be told they are "stunning." A compliment is a compliment even if coming from a weird looking track-suit wearing guy of indistinguishable age on the subway.

The Sexy Cop is standing there waiting for me when I exit the Tube station. I always find it so awkward to greet these "blind" dates! And trying to make small talk as you are walking to the "date place" is always a bit painful. To make matters worse, I'm wearing super high heels and we are walking on cobble stones and I'm teetering around and not doing a great job at keeping up the small talk because I'm trying not to fall on my ass!
We eventually make it to a wine bar. As we enter he asks me "You do drink, right?" And he looks relieved when I say "yes." But inside my head I'm actually screaming. "Yes please! Give me a drink now!! I just took the subway and walked over cobblestones in high heels. And I'm nervous to meet you! Yes, I want a damn drink."

Luckily, the drinks come quickly and we settle into a table and being the "first date conversation." But unlike with my last Match date, this one seems to go pretty smoothly. There is no awkwardness or hesitation. He kept up his end of the conversation extremely well. I was really interested to hear about the life of a British Police Officer.

But get this. This guy is no ordinary Cop. His self proclaimed "over education" that he mentioned on his profile... well how about a full on PhD IN ASTROPHYSICS no less! But he said that Academia bored him and working for NASA just didn't really get him going. So, he decided to trade it all in for the life of a London Police Officer.

And now he chases gang members in the bad "hoods" of London. Literally - on foot. He described endless foot chases to me. Do you know that in London, the cops don't even have guns? So, he basically chases gangsters with his baton. Crazy. But he seemed to love his job and it made for interesting conversation.

Anyway, we stayed for three drinks (I was a bit tipsy toward the end of the night) and we there were no awkward pauses or hesitations. All in all, it was a good to great date! Although, I'm not sure we really had any chemistry. And I definitely don't think we have a future. - his face kind of fell when I told him I was not staying in London much longer and he sent me a text message later that basically said: "Was nice to meet you. Good luck with your move." So, it doesn't seem like a second date is in the plans. But I was glad that I went on this date.

*You will be happy to know that I try not to let my subway phobia too drastically affect my life. I just need to live in walking distance of my work (been fine for the past 6 years) or driving distance as you do in the US. I will also tell you that I have been on some of the most crowded subways in the world including Moscow and Shanghai where there is literally someone whose job it is to "push" people in and pack them into the subway... So, I'm not totally dysfunctional. It's just better for me and everyone around me that I try to limit my subway use. And let's face it, I can afford the occasional taxi. So, it's so not a big deal.

4 comments:

Matt79 said...

When I see a good-looking woman on public transport I sometimes wonder whether to tell her that I think she's hot. I would just be hoping that it was a nice thing to be told but I wasn't sure whether it would seem complimentary or creepy - sounds like it's both!

DateMeDC said...

Thanks for the shout-out! I went on two dates this week, and my booty call is TOTALLY coming over tomorrow night (though that part doesn't get blogged about, see gave ya the inside scoop there).

Additionally @Matt79 -- I'd say there are about a billion and one things that factor in when deciding whether telling a woman she's beautiful is creepy or complimentary:

1. How attractive are you? If you're hot and you tell her she's hot, then you're probably getting her phone number.

2. Are you wearing something weird/have you groomed yourself recently? If you're wearing pleated pants or you haven't bathed in a few days, best to just leave her alone because that's "creep" territory.

... that's really it, I guess. I thought I'd have more, but I'm tired.

Matt79 said...

Thanks for the advice - I guess I had a feeling that it might come down to that kind of thing. I have given similar compliments a few times and it seems I generally wasn't hot enough. Being hot must be so much fun!

International Woman of Mystery said...

Date ME DC - well said girl! BTW you are my hero! 2 dates + a booty call in one week! Wow. And I can't believe you are holding back on your blog and it's still as interesting as it is (although totally understand that some things just aren't appropriate or interesting enugh for the blog).

Matt - I would say keep giving compliments because no matter what, they are still nice to receive. (although Date Me DC's advice is pretty solid). I'm also going out on a limb here and assuming that you do bath regularly and you probably don't rock pleated pants too often (men in the UK don't usually commit this fashion faux paux as much as American med do. Although Track Suit Bottoms - as you call them - are a bit of an issue...)