Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Abnormal Energy Levels

The trainer at the gym (remember that I'm paying for men now) told me that I have more energy than any person he has ever met in the 6 years he has been a personal trainer. He assured me that he was not kidding. He is actually the second personal trainer I have worked with who has commented on my "abnormal energy levels." I'm kind of starting to believe it might be true and I think it's kind of cool. I mean who doesn't want to have lots of energy?

He also said that I punch (we box) harder than any girl he has ever met. Then he made sure to clarify that I am "not strong," I just have a lot of energy and pack a hard punch. Thanks for that clarification. I made sure to hit him harder after that. I think he is little bit scared of me.

But not that scared of me. I was mouthing off to him and thanking him for not making me do the crazy stuff he made me do last week so he then needed to make up for it by making me hang upside down from a bar.  Ok - that does not at all begin to describe what he made me do.

Let me try to give a better description. He gave me cuffs to put on my feet. These cuffs had a hook on the back of them (where my heel is). He then lifted me up onto a bar and literally hung me from the bar by the hooks on the cuffs so I was upside down with my shirt somewhere around my neck (yup - the boys in the weight room got a small show). And of course I cannot stop laughing and of course this causes a huge scene as I am now upside down with my shirt around my neck histerically laughing and yelling at him to get me down!

Being the sadist that he is, he then proceeded to refuse to release me until I did some tourturous excercises like pulling myself upward and trying to reach my toes. This was all much to the amusement of the other people (and here I mean boys - we were in the free weight section) in the gym. I'm not sure that making a fool out of yourself while sweating profusely and hanging upside down from a bar with sports bra showing is a good way to make an impresson on the boys in the weight room. Actually, I'm sure it did make an impression. Although probably not quite the one I wanted!

BTW this getting in shape thing is no fun (ok - working out with the trainer is kind of fun until the next day when I can no longer move parts of my body). But as I am desperate to get back in shape fast so I can wear my clothes again, I have decided that I need to take some drastic measures like cutting out what had become over the summer a daily glass of wine. Oh how I miss you Mr. Glass of Wine in the Evening! And now I have decided that I probably must also give up french fries as well. Damn. I love french fries in a serious way - i.e. I ate them 3 times last week (no wonder my pants do not fit).

So goodbye french fries. And I probably should say goodbye to potato chips as well. * And, WELL HELLO SALADS! And I would also like to requests that the results of my labors and self-depravation could do me a big favor and please make themselves known very very soon. I'm tired of being out of shape. And a BIG note to self - DO NOT let yourself get out of shape again. Remember how painful this journey back into shape is!

Right. This was going to be short. That was all I was going to write after last night's novel.

But as usual, as soon as I start to type, I have a lot to say. It's impossible for me to keep it short. Luckily I type fast.

Today was not a good day.

The day started with the realization that I have actually lost (in a seemingly forever kind of way - I think) my daily planner. THE daily planner that I cannot live my life without. THE daily planner that makes sure I don't double book appointments and makes sure I get to places on time. THE daily planner that I check about 20 times a day!

How could I loose something so vital you might ask? I'm asking myself the same question. I had the thing yesterday morning because I used it to show some dates to my housecleaner* some dates (she doesn't speak good English so I wanted to make sure we were clear). And then I got to work and realized I didn't have it with me. I thought I had left it at home. BUT when I got home, I couldn't find it. I reasoned that maybe just maybe I actually had brought it to work.

So, when I got to work this morning after spending another 30 mins searching my apartment, and realized it was not there, I got very sad. I almost cried. I texted the housecleaner who replied that she did not know where it was. I looked in the trash outside my apartment building (although it was completely full of nasty stuff so I could not bring myself to really dig through it) since I remember taking the trash out yesterday after possibly holding the daily planner for the last time. I then searched the house again tonight looking everywhere (even in places like my underwear drawer, just in case). The thing is GONE! I have concluded that it must have grown legs and gotten up and walked off. That is the only possibility. Either that or I accidentally managed to toss it out with the trash. After all it was Monday morning.

And then I had an epiphany! Yesterday I brought some books to work to return to a colleague who loaned them to me. Surely my planner somehow got in that bag with the books. So, I trekked back to the office (a very long journey indeed - Just kidding) and was SURE that I would find my planner in that bag. And IT WAS NOT THERE! I felt like I had lost it all over again. The jury is still out on whether or not I will survive this latest tragedy.

And to end this wonderful day. Do you know what I did? I DROPPED MY TOOTHBRUSH INTO THE TOILET!*** Yup. That's what I did.

Let's hope tomorrow is a better day. I'm off to Sweden to meet with my peeps there.

Laters Skaters.

I'm going to cry myself to sleep over my missing daily planner.

*Salty and friend foods are my downfalls. I rarely crave sweets and never crave chocolate. But oohhhh french fries get me every single time. Just thinking about them makes me drool.

**I do not recommend having your housecleaner come on Monday mornings. This is not a good idea. This is something I regret every Monday morning (although kind of like every Monday evening when I come home to a clean house. I kind of also like it on Saturday nights when I'm throwing parties and realize that someone else is going to clean up the messy aftermath). As I have a tendency to blog until the wee hours of the morning, I HATE getting out of bed. And for some reason the housecleaner generally decides to come 45 mins before the agreed upon time which means the doorbell literally wakes me up. Let me tell you this does not make for a nice start to the week and apparently leads me to do things like loose my precious daily planner!

***Never fear - the toothbrush is now in the trash. Did you think I would have picked it up and used it again? Ewww! I'm a serious germaphobe! That is so gross!


Anonymous said...

Wow...I had a good laugh at this one. I have not had a personal trainer...though I probably should...and know exactly what torture devise you are speaking of...thinking of you upside down like a giggling bat while everyone in the weight section watches is horrifying yet hillarious (sorry but it's true).
I don't keep a planner...but I use my cell phone as one and can only imagine the panic that would ensue if I ever lost it! So sorry! Hope it turns up somewhere unexpected and funny and you can blog about it soon! :-)

Sara Louise said...

OK, I would be freaking out too! I've had a planner since I was 12 and I use it everyday (my friends even call me 'The Planner' because I'm such an OCD pain in the ass). Hope it makes it way back to you.

And I'm a savory not a sweet girl too. Don't really care that much about chocolate. But I have given up potato chips this summer but I'm keeping my french fries and wine :-)

AT said...

I know "fit" is a state of mind just as much as it is a physical thing. BUT, for what it's worth, you are remarkably fit and lovely! Way to go on your work-out regime, and yes, you do have a TON of energy.

Lauren said...

I love your blog and found it through Sara Louise. Definitely had a good laugh reading your post!

Take care,


International Woman of Mystery said...

@Jules - sadly the planner had not shown up yet... I was hoping it would but I have caved in and bought a new one!

@Sara Louise - I ate french fries at leat three times over the past 4 days. And potato chips... Shit. Failing miserably at this diet thing - the personal trainer will not be impressed. I did manage to go running a few times though.

@AT - awww thanks!

@Lauren - thanks for reading! Can't wait to check out your blog!