Thursday, September 23, 2010

One Week Left in London

There is one week left until I leave London.

And everyone keeps asking me how I feel? And I don't have a good answer. I'm trying not to feel at all.

Because I don't know what the future holds, I'm trying not to think about it. And I'm trying not to look backwards so I don't get caught up in sad (misplaced?) nostalgia.

I have one week left in London and I'm perfecting the art of living in the moment.

I'm trying not to freak out. I have done this before.

But leaving anywhere is hard. Even a place that you want to leave.

And moving is hard.

I did this one year ago. Packed up my things and had the movers come and take them to another country.

But yes, it's still hard. Every time it's hard.

I have one week left in London, and I'm thinking about packing. But I have yet to pack a thing.

Actually, the movers will do most of the packing. But there is probably some organization must be done from my side. I'm saving that until Monday. The movers come on Tuesday. I hope it can be done in one day.

And I'm thinking about leaving. Not just London, but Europe. About leaving my job. I'm trying not to panic. But it's totally not working.

I have one week left in London and I'm still thinking about the boy I met last weekend. Maybe I'm just focusing on him to fill up the void that 'trying not to think' about the move has left. Maybe. Or maybe he just got under my skin and I will never be the same. Maybe.

I hope that the weekend will be a distraction - from the stress of moving, from thoughts of him. Sexy Single Swedish friend H will come and visit. I will have a party. I will say goodbye to my small group of friends here.

This weekend, we will drink one last time at my apartment. Dance one last time at the nightclub Valmont.

I have one week left in London and then I'm going to Sweden for a wedding. And to say goodbye to friends there.

And then I have a one way flight to Boston. Then, I will leave Europe. Then, I will leave my international life.

And say hello to a new life. In the US. After 9 years abroad. I have no expectations. I have no idea what it will be like. I'm trying not to think about it. I'm trying not to feel at all.

And I'm panicking.

I have one week left in London...

4 comments:

Julianna said...

Enjoy! But there's no place like home... (I think someone said that in a movie once) -J

DateMeDC said...

The good news is Boston is not that far away from D.C. so you can come down and hang out!

Average Girl said...

i'm so sorry sweetie... you sound so sad, so very sad... doesn't mean that your international life is over, it's just another beginning to another incredible chapter of the most amazing life that makes the rest of us in "awe"... you are still a woman of international mystery! I hope the move is smooth and that whatever Boston holds will be so full of crazy wonderful stories that while you will miss London, perhaps you won't yearn for it... New friends, new life, new crazy wonderful adventures await for you, wherever you are, wherever you go.. you make the adventures, not the place you live in!

Ciao for now darlin!

Tracy

Catherine said...

I hope you enjoy your last week, and try not to be bummed out. You can always visit, but think of all the adventures in Boston! I certainly can't wait to hear about it :) http://simplysolo.wordpress.com