Saturday, November 20, 2010

Desperately Seeking a Man

So, at this point, I'm pretty much in a dry spell when it comes to men - it feels like it's been weeks since I've even flirted with a man. Correction - it HAS been weeks. The last man of interest in my life was THE WRITER and that was in London in September! And usually this doesn't bother me, but with the move and all, I've been noticing more than usual that I'm alone and kind of wishing I had someone there to fill in the lonely spaces and to help with the heavy lifting (emotional and physical) of the move. Let's face it moving is LONELY. It would be way more fun to do it with a special someone else.

So, with this thought in the back of my head, for the past couple weeks, I've been composing a list of the reasons why this International Woman of Mystery is suddenly desperately seeking a man.

Desperately Seeking a Man

To help carry all the boxes up the stairs (I promise to help - I swear).

To live in my apartment with me and split the exorbitant rent for the closet-like awesome space.

To hold my hand as we walk through the gaslight streets and discover the charming neighborhood of Beacon Hill with me.

To go for long runs with me on the Charles River.

To drive my car around Boston and hopefully do a better job at navigating the city than I do.

To discuss the apartment and help me decide which furniture would go best.

To go with me to pick out furniture for the apartment.

To help me build the furniture and recognize quickly when I am inevitably building things wrong (because I am too impatient to follow directions) and suggest I do it the right way before I "finish" it and then have to take it all apart and start over.

To step in and take over anything involving a hammer and nails as soon as he sees that I hammer every single nail in completely crooked.

To take the lead with anything involving 'tools.' Actually, he should probably ban me from using tools all together. It's not pretty.

To help with the emotional side of the move and the super life changes I'm going through.

To help me re assimilate to the US and remind me that it's ok to give up my jet-set life for awhile.

To tell me that when I'm ready to resume my jet-set lifestyle, that he will accompany me.

To go with me to pick out a kitten. And to clean the litter box help take care of the kitten.

To share the cost of my awesome car that I so do not need since I can walk to work in 15 minutes - note that in return, the boyfriend can drive the car all he wants as long as he sometimes will drive me somewhere...

To help with all the long "to-do" list associated with moving like setting up utilities, paying bills, switching the registration on your car, talking to your insurance, getting a Beacon Hill parking pass...

To cuddle with me at night and tell me that everything is going to be all right.

To listen to me talk about my new job and provide various other emotional support.

To reassure me that I'm awesome and cute when I'm feeling insecure.

To tell me I'm beautiful even when I'm not wearing any makeup.

To tell me that 6 am Boot Camp is already paying off (even though as far as I can tell the only result I'm seeing is uber-tiredness all the time).

To sit with me in front of the fire place and drink wine on a cozy night in.

To go out and party with me and my friends on a crazy night out.

To cook us dinner in our new kitchen (I have yet to turn on the stove or oven - actually, I just realized that I don't even own any pots or pans which leads me to the next point)

To buy us some pots and pans and wine glasses, and utensils and all the other things that are still "missing" in the apartment because I ran out of money motivation to buy them myself.

To buy a television and install it (this isn't high on my priority list but I feel like a boyfriend would make sure it happened).

To cuddle up on the couch with me and watch movies on the television (obviously he will have also figured out how to stream Net Flix).

To bring to the apartment some kind of video game system and sometimes let me play it with you (I secretly like video games in moderation and when played with boyfriends) and not to complain when I make him play Sing Star or Making the Band with me.

To help me host an awesome housewarming party tonight.

So, if you know any hot TALL Boston boys who favor skinny jeans, hate khakis, do not shop at Brooks Brothers, and are super smart, nice, tolerant, funny, interesting, love to travel and would consider living abroad, like cats, are strong and love to cuddle... well, please tell them about the International Woman of Mystery and send them over to Beacon Hill!


Marcela said...

I don't know any tall Boston guy with those characteristics, I know a tall Serbian guy who does: my husband...Yes, I'm lucky ;)
I wish you the same luck I had 5 years ago when we met, realized within 1 week we were meant for each other (he declares it took him 1 second, but well) and got married 5 months after that.
And I hope that, in the meantime, while looking for Mr. Right, you will enjoy single life a great deal and adjust soon to life in Boston.
Have a nice weekend!

Average Girl said...

I will keep my eye out for you and as soon as I see him, I will box him up and Fed/Ex him to you! Promise... In the meantime, I have this ugly looking blow up doll-man... Kind of looks like Roy Orbison. Named him Pierre, use to sit beside me when I watched TV and come for car rides... do you want me to send him to you? Not much of a talker, full of hot air, but he never complains about anything!

Tracy xxoo

Julianna said...

I'll be on the lookout. :)

Lifebeginsat30ty said...

Awe, we really are living parallel lives! I've been thinking the same thing recently. I think it may partly to do with the weather getting all cold and dark: it just makes you want to cuddle. And being in a new place and not having set up a new social network doesn't help things. But I think we need to change the way of thinking. You are not desperate! You might be, but men can smell desperation a mile away. You are looking for that someone special ;) But I won't tell you that claptrap about finding someone when not looking, because we all know that we are always looking ;) Good luck!

SSW said...

Great list of requirements! I don't know anyone up your way, but I will keep you in my prayers! Good luck!

GutsyWriter said...

I found your blog and wondered if you're going to be writing a book about your adventures. I've lived in different countries around the world and found my husband via a Singles magazine ad. That was 25 years ago. It was not love at first sight, but the long-term qualities are what keeps a marriage intact. Also travel and an interesting life. Have you not met a guy while working out at the gym?

Anonymous said...

I'll be sure to stay on the lookout for turn keep your eye out for my special somebody!!
You can find my requirments at

gee thanks! :-)

Catherine said...

I hope you find this too! But don't be so hard on yourself. It seems like you are doing incredibly well all on your lonesome!